Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Dawson's Creek - 103 - Kiss

Original air date: February 3, 1998

Last time on Dawson's Creek, Mrs. Leary is still a cheating ho, Ms. Jacobs is still an Ephebophile, Joey still likes Dawson and Dawson and Jen may have started dating. Sort of.

Continuing on with our recaps, the third episode opens once again in Dawson's room with a conversation between Dawson and Joey. I'm starting to think that this will be a running thing through out, at least, this season. We'll see if I'm right.

Anyways, Dawson and Joey are watching From Here to Eternity because he's trying to earn some film cred back after claiming E.T. should have won an Oscar over Ghandi and admittedly worshipping Stephen Spielberg as a God.

Fuck James Cameron,
I'm King of the World!
Dawson brags about how his kiss with Jen will be exactly like the one in the movie. Joey harasses Dawson for not kissing her yet and for someone who harbours a secret crush on him, Joey is certainly pushy about him kissing Jen. What is she thinking? If she pushes him enough about kissing Jen, he'll realize he actually wants to kiss her? I hate to break it to you, Joey, but no one thinks like that.

Anyways, Dawson calls her jaded and tells her that if she actually let her guard down and let people in, she could have a moment like Debrah Carr in From Here to Eternity.

Joey: Mmm, sand in my crotch. Heaven.
Semi-interesting side note: Debrah Carr plays Karen Holmes in the movie and Katie Holmes plays Joey who is going to pretend to be Debrah Carr...son. Yes, little things like this amuse me.

Back to the recap, Joey makes fun of Dawson for living in an ideal movie world, Dawson says he likes imagination and magic and Joey snarks that he should clap hard because he's Tinkerbell's last hope.

Cue theme song.

Dawson is back in film class and is acting like a Mr. Know it All. I mean, sure none of the kids know what they're doing but if he's so sure, why did he want to take this class anyway? Mr. Gold obviously has no clue what he's doing, otherwise he would have asked people to hand in scripts, gone over them and picked a completed one for them to shoot instead of just going with one guy's idea and then spit-balling a script with the whole class. Who is writing this thing?

What do you want from me? Shakespeare?
Exactly. Dawson acts all smug and self-righteous about the fact that they don't have a script locked down before shooting which I find hilarious coming from Dawson "I'll change my script in the middle of filming even though I've already filmed most of my old script" Leary but whatever.

Duh, only I can change scripts at the last minute.
Meanwhile, in Ms. Jacobs' Statutory Rapetorium, Pacey asks her why she hasn't handed his test back to him. Ms. Jacobs says it's because he failed, hard and that he's failing all of his other courses too. Pacey reveals that he is failing on purpose so that Ms. Jacobs would tutor him. I fail to see his logic. Why fail all of his classes? She's just an English teacher so he should just fail English, she can't help him with his other subjects and it's not her responsibility to. Then he starts getting icky by flirting with his teacher, saying that he needs a "slave driver. Somebody with a whip, maybe?" and I just gagged in my throat a little. Not that this wouldn't be a fun activity between two consenting adults but more the context and what's to come later. It just smacks of young naive kid trying to sound "adult" and that is always icky to me.

You're not icky, Pacey. The circumstance is icky.
Ms. Jacobs again shows some restraint by telling Pacey that they can't interact that way but then Pacey says that she can tutor him. She agrees and tells him to meet her after school. Actually, they are meeting after a staff meeting so, you know, no one will be there. That's a swell idea, Ms. Jacobs. Please, continue leading your student on and playing hot and cold with him so you feel pursued and young again.

That's right. I see your game, TaMAHra.
Next we cut to Dawson and Pacey at the local hangout, The Icehouse. This is where Joey works and I assume, her sister and her sister's boyfriend own it. Bodie has changed since the pilot, I guess that happens sometimes but he's still the same guy.

Or so we're told...
Dawson is bragging to Pacey about how he will be allowed into the film class he thinks is beneath him if he proves himself by being a PA for Nellie. Pacey points out that the test is designed for him to fail as Nellie hates him but Dawson remains ignorantly optimistic. Joey joins them at the table just as Dawson starts in on his plans for kissing Jen.

Joey is not amused.
Pacey goes on about how he has a hot date and requests oysters and just gag me, alright? I don't know how many more ways I can say how much I hate this sorry excuse for a relationship. Thankfully, Joey saves us by noticing a cute rich boy walk into the restaurant.

He has a five-head and doufy hair. Joey has a type, ok?
Joey barely has a chance to recover from her ogle-fest when Pacey starts pestering her about it and uh oh, is Dawson maybe a little bit jealous?

I thought I was the only one with the rights to this hair do.
Pacey makes a crack about Joey finally noticing the opposite sex and growing up. Then he calls after the guy that Joey thinks he's hot stuff.

She handles it maturely.
Later, Dawson is prepping helmets for Helmets of Glory. He is surprised when Jen shows up saying that she offered to help out by being a cheerleader. Dawson acts all pissy that she dared to be in someone else's film because she is solely his property and then acts all jealous when Cliff shows up.

Hey baby, do you want to see my helmet of glory?
We next go to Ms. Bad-touch's Statutory Rapetorium where she is "tutoring" Pacey but it looks more like she's just standing around while he reads a book which, I guess some people need help with. Then Pacey asks her what she was like when she was a student and even more telling, he asks her if she would have dated him back then. She says that she wouldn't and that again spells out why this is wrong. He's not her type of guy, he's a young guy. This just confirms that she's using him and yet the show seems to be painting them as a serious relationship and not some fucked up power dynamic relationship. Then things get really, really squicky when she hands him a question sheet about the book and says that if he gets some right, she will give him "positive reinforcement"

Positive my PANTS!
Lady, you have given up all pretences of trying to do the right thing now. You know what he is thinking when you say that and you fucking like it. You are getting off on having power over this kid, on having him want you. You are a horrible, horrible person.

Moving on to something more tolerable, Joey hears some beautiful, soulful music being played on the docks near the restaurant and she just has to go and investigate. Of course it's the rich guy she likes and it's such a romance cliche too but I suppose that is the point of her story this episode. Cynical, jaded Joey gets a taste of movie level romance for one episode. Right down to a rich guy wanting poor her and the rich guy even looks a bit like Blaine from Pretty in Pink to really nail the point home:

Doufy hair, ears that stick out a bit and a
button down shirt. It's like a rich guy formula.
Joey and Rich Boy have a conversation, well it's more he talks honestly with her while she snarks at him while giving evasive or stupid answers to his questions. It's all rather infuriating, I mean, it's clear he's into her so why does she act like that? Why can't she just flirt back, does she constantly have to prove how witty she is? Anyway, he says his name is Anderson and he asks for hers. I guess she doesn't want him to know or find out that she's a waitress so she gives him a fake name, Debrah Carson. Get it? Because she's going to have her From Here to Eternity moment? The beginning of this episode was, you guessed it, FORESHADOWING!

I'm fucking genius, yo!
Pacey is getting quizzed by Ms. Jacobs and is doing really well with the one word answers but stumbles when she actually asks him a challenging question.

Dawson, meanwhile, makes pissy comments about Helmets of Glory when he should be thankful to have an opportunity to get into the class he wants to get into and also do some networking with like-minded students that could help him finish his film. Nellie rightly calls him out on his bullshit.

You didn't earn your place here!
She is entirely right that Dawson hasn't really earned his place in the prestigious class yet but she loses me at the point where she complains about him bashing the script that she "worked all summer on". I want to be in her corner except for two issues I have. 1) I thought "Mr. Cliff Quarterback himself" was writing, directing and starring in this so wouldn't the script be his? 2) If Nellie worked all summer on the script, why the hell was it still not done on the day they were starting shooting? How extensive is this thing because in most high school film classes, I assume they start you off with a smaller project so you can get your feet wet. You're not going to make a 2 hour epic your first time out, is what I'm saying. Ten minutes to half an hour is usually about it but whatever, this is make believe or in other words, I should just:

But I digress. It's time to get back the the Statutory Rapetorium where the situation becomes even more rage inducing. Pacey manages to come up with an intelligent answer to her question and then eagerly asks for his reward. At this point, Ms. Jacobs says she doesn't have one because she didn't expect him to get this far.

Pacey then asks her if she was bluffing and she blithely says that she'll owe him. You see what I mean with the hot and cold? She really does get off on the attention she can get out of him. She wants to pretend that she's this beacon of good just because she's restraining herself from having sex with her underage student but she's not good, she's horrible. She is manipulating her student into wanting her more by doing this. She doesn't care for him, she just gets her jollies off being wanted by someone so young. I'm not convinced that she would only do this with Pacey because he's special, I think any student who showed her the time of day would have done it for her. She's gross.

Pacey keeps coming on to her and she finally just mentally torments the kid by being completely blunt about having sex on her desk and asking him to strip. He gets increasingly nervous, especially when she mentions needing condoms and makes the excuse that her classroom isn't very romantic. She then laughs at him and insensitively asks him if it's his first time.

You know it is.
Uh, yeah she does. How could she not? He's freaking fifteen and I realize that some people do lose their virginity around that age but with the way he was talking earlier, about no girls liking him, asking if she would date him in high school, was pretty damn obvious that he had never done it before and that part of his obsession with her was that he could flirt with her safely without having to worry about the follow through. This is yet another reason why this relationship is so fucking atrocious. I know they were going for drama here but they are failing because this isn't just taboo, that cutesy word they throw around about their relationship to make it seem forbidden and sexy, no this is fucking wrong.

I'm a firm believer that sometimes it's
right to do the wrong thing.
And I'm a firm believer that Ms. Jacobs should be in jail.

Meanwhile, it's daytime again and Joey and Anderson have set sail. Joey is a natural with the sailing and Anderson is impressed. They then get to run around on the beach together. He talks about how important honesty is and that as long as a person doesn't lie about what they're doing he's cool with it. Joey now feels like a piece of shit but then she continues frolicking on the beach with him anyways and just when Joey is about to get her thrilling romantic movie kiss, she pusses out.

Dammit, Joey! Just kiss him, you don't
have to save yourself for Dawson.
Dawson finally earns his keep by teaching the other kids in his class how to do a tracking shot, which Mr. Gold should have taught them if he was actually good at his job. I suspect he took the position because he originally just wanted to watch movies for class. Pacey is helping out with this shot which is really confusing because it's daytime and in the last shot of Pacey alone with Ms. Jacobs, he said that the film crew had left. Before that, Ms. Jacobs said to meet her after class and then Joey meets the guy at sunset but that's the same night that Pacey meets Ms. Jacobs which is happening at the same time that they are filming and Joey is spending the day with Anderson. What is the time line of this episode? Seriously? I'm so fucking lost. Is it day? Night? Are we doing flashbacks and flash forwards? WHAT IS GOING ON???

Same here, Mugatu.
After filming is done, Jen and Dawson grab a bite to eat at the Icehouse while they discuss filming a scene for his movie. Joey has shown up for work in this day that will never end and is in a surprisingly good mood. This makes me even more curious as to why she didn't kiss the guy, she's obviously into him and she's probably not going to see him again and if she does, she has to keep lying about who she is so it's never going to work.

Cue Anderson coming into the restaurant. Joey rips her apron off and sits next to Jen and Dawson before he comes up and starts talking to her. Jen figures out pretty quickly what's up and covers for her lies but Dawson remains clueless. I do love Jen's reiteration of Joey's words when they first met each other, to Anderson:

Would you like to join us, Deb's friend,
whom we've never met...ever.
Priceless. Joey agrees to meet Anderson again while Bessie almost blows her cover. Luckily, Bodie clues in and helps her out. Joey is rescued from her web of lies...for now.

Pacey sees Ms. Jacobs talking to Mr. Gold after the film shoot and is pissed off. Seriously, how long is this day? What time is it? I don't even know anymore. Ms. Jacobs acts all indignant again that Pacey would be upset about her hanging out with someone else because that's part of her game. She asks Pacey what he wants from her and he says that he wants her. Why? I don't know, she's hot, I guess.

Dawson has lured Jen up to the "ruins" to do some filming and maybe get a little somethin', somethin'. Yes, I just wrote that. The ruins are very pretty, so Dawson is really good at setting the mood, I'll give him that.

The charm of Dawson is his romantic side.
However, he has to go and creep it up because after they are done filming the scene, he tries to secretly film them kissing. I assume this tape would then replace Katie Couric as his morning wank material.

Yes! I found another one!
Jen notices and is rightfully creeped out.

Joey sees Anderson again and he tells her that he and his family are leaving but says he can visit her in New York. He offers to take her to the Rainbow Room but she says that she prefers Bouley because she's an East Side girl. From the confused look he gives her, I'd say she's busted! But he gives her his number anyways and then they kiss.

Good for you, girl.
Jen yells at Dawson for a bit while he tries to explain why he is such a freak. This then freaks Jen out more because she realizes how much he's built up this kiss and she feels she'll be a let down. Dawson assures her that that will "Never happen."

Joey finds out from Bodie that she for sure effed up because the restaurant she mentioned is in Tribeca and closed down a few years ago. This prompts her to throw Anderson's number out the window. I don't get why this is her downfall, she already lied about her name and her station in life, it wasn't going to work anyways. Plus, what was she going to do, travel to New York every time he goes there and pretend to live there? It's stupid.

Meanwhile Dawson and Jen continue to talk when they are interrupted by a noise. They quickly hide and panic about being caught which gets them both horny, I guess.

They kiss.
Then it's revealed that Dawson's camera is still recording but it's not recording he and Jen kissing, it's actually recording the most horrific scene in Dawson's horror movie:

Yep, Ms. Jacobs finally claimed her prize, some nice underage cock. I feel dirty for having written that. Save me.

Well, that was Kiss. I don't know what more I can say about this episode that I haven't already said in others so I'll just leave you once again with, I hate TamAHra Jacobs. She is a horrible character and she did a horrible thing in this episode. This was not their love progressing, this was a woman who just took advantage of a sexually naive and inexperienced teenager. I really don't like shows that glorify this type of relationship because it is wrong for more reasons than age alone. It is wrong because she is a teacher and she holds power over him both by being more experienced and by being in a position of authority over him. They are not equals and he clearly has his head in the clouds with her while she regards him as a lost little puppy that gives her attention when she wants it.

I can't remember how they resolve this, probably because I've tried to block this portion of Pacey's story from my memory but I seem to recall that she gets off scott free which is so wrong.

I guess we'll have to see what happens next when I recap Discovery. Thanks for reading.


  1. "I assume this tape would then replace Katie Couric as his morning wank material."

    I made the same face Katie Couric made when I read that.