Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Dawson's Creek - 108 - Boyfriend

Original air date: March 10, 1998

Hey Internet. Happy New Year and all that junk. I'm finally back after a longer hiatus than I actually wanted but I come bearing more Dawson's Creeky goodness.

So, when we last left off, we ended on Joey almost breaking down and telling Dawson her feelings for him. Everyone else figured out what she was going to say and were super tense and stuff but then the librarian interrupts them. Now in real life, you would continue your conversation as you left the library but this ain't real life, this is the Creek!

We open this episode in....

You guessed it!

Dawson is deciding what to watch when Joey enters and begins complaining about Bessie's baby keeping her up at night. Since, apparently, the detention and the awkward almost confession never happened, Dawson tells Joey to crash with him.

Well, Dawson can't. He's the embodiment of oblivious.

Joey thanks him by commenting on how lame his movie tastes are because he's watching old movies with dorky looking men. Wonderful, now Dawson is all insecure about being the dorky, well meaning guy again instead of the tall dark stranger. Cue theme song!

Oh ho! Some fall out from the Hurricane thingy involving Dawson's parents. No wonder I didn't remember their break up happening so early in the first season. They just shoved it to the background for two episodes to finally bring it up here. Anyway, Mitch and Gail make awkward conversation at the breakfast table. Dawson sees this and bails before his parents can drag him into the awkwardness.

Wait, come back! We have so much more
uncomfortable to give!

Pacey is sitting next to an old dude on a park bench complaining about how dull Capeside is. He then tries to cross the street without looking both ways and almost gets hit by a car.

If you don't look both ways before crossing the street,
you're gonna have a bad time.

The guy who almost hits him backs up and asks for directions to the high school. Pacey obliges by explaining to him about how to get there and then says that he'd be happy to navigate for the guy since he's going to the high school too. Pacey...

If you get in a car with a stranger,
you're gonna have a bad time.
The guy makes a snarky comment about his dangerous driving and speeds off away from Pacey.

Because he's a bad ass, or something.

Joey is trying to get ready for school but is denied access to the bathroom and her dresser. She whines about the baby and her sister tries to make her feel better by saying that things will settle down after the adjustment period...in two to three years.
Joey is not impressed.

We next cut to Dawson helping Joey to study for the Spanish test she couldn't study for the night before because of baby Alexander. Because she can't stand to talk about anything else with Dawson, Joey brings up Jen. She asks if things have been OK with them and Dawson says they have and she says that's good and I'm sitting here thinking, so....no one has brought up Joey's teary almost confession at all? We're just going to pretend that didn't happen? OK then. Joey, continue obsessing over Jen while Dawson acts clueless about your crush.

Yes, like that.

Jen interrupts them and Dawson turns his focus on her which annoys Joey. As they all leave for class, Jen spots the car guy from earlier and tells Dawson she'll catch up with him. Both Dawson and Joey watch as she walks up to the guy who turns out to be Jen's ex.

Billy the *ahem* "kid", in all his glory.

This brings me to one of those nostalgic memories. When I watched this as a teen, I remember thinking that Billy was probably college age because, I mean, look at the guy. However, in this re-watch, with the characters continuously referring to him as "Billy the kid," I realise that they actually intended him to be sixteen at the most and just no. Lets face it, the main four don't pass for 15 either but somehow, this guy is worse.

Shut up, he's totally 16!

Anyway, Jen confronts her ex and from what she says, I gather he is the guy that her dad caught her in flagrante with in his bed so this should cause much drama and feed into Dawson's insecurities as the nice guy versus Billy's "bad boy". Fun. She agrees to go for a ride with Billy to tell him just how much she has changed.

Dawson is not impressed.

Cliff approaches Dawson and asks if he's seen Jen around. He says he wants to invite her to a party he is throwing and for the heck of it, invites Dawson too. He then asks Dawson if Jen has a girlfriend, Dawson says she does and that it's him.

Cliff is not impressed.

Back in the Leary household...actually it has come to my attention that I am spelling their last name wrong. I had always thought it was Leary but according to IMDb, it is actually Leery. I don't know why but that seemed wrong to me, I like my spelling better but there you have it. I guess I'll have to go with Leery from now on. Even though Leery makes it sound like he constantly leers at people which is creepy.

I'll just die a little every time I write it that way.

Anyway, back at the Leery household, Gail is trying to pick a new activity for her and Mitch to try together as per their couples therapist's suggestion but Mitch is not interested. He spits out a catty remark about them trying swinging or couple swapping because that would be more her speed.

Oh snap!
Gail asks him when he's going to stop punishing her and he tells her he'll stop when it stops hurting. Awww, poor Mitch. I find myself having no sympathy for Gail yet, she is a horrible person and to me, only ended her affair and tried to fix her relationship with her husband because she got caught. She was perfectly happy to be all kissy face with her co-anchor until Dawson told her he knew so yeah, no sympathy Gail. Team Mitch!

Don't give me that look, Gail. You were the
one who cheated.

Meanwhile, Billy seems to accept Jen's assertion that she's changed and is dating someone else now but says that he needs to stay the night but has no money. Jen gets the bright idea to dump her ex boyfriend into the lap of her insecure current boyfriend. In what world did she think this was a good idea? Has she not met Dawson? Has she not seen how freaking jealous he gets of other guys, including his best friend, over her? Jen, you're normally awesome but it's when you start to do shit like this that I can't get behind you.

Worst. Girlfriend. Ever!

Dawson agrees because he's a doormat "nice guy". We then get a cliche confrontation between Billy and Dawson where Billy insults Dawson's nerdy room and then reveals his dastardly plan to steal Jen away from him. All he's missing is a moustache that he can twirl, evilly.

Yes, and then I'll tie her to the train tracks.
Mwahahahahahaha! *twirl*

He claims he's joking and then tries to pique Dawson's curiosity about Jen's past in New York, claiming that Dawson probably "doesn't know the half of it."

Dawson runs crying to Joey for advice even though she is usually the one who makes him feel insecure and hey, didn't she kind of start him on the "nice guys finish last" train of thought in this episode too? I'll give her a pass because she didn't seem to be trying to make him feel like shit this episode and she passed out before they had a chance to really get going in the conversation but still...

I got my eyes on you, Joey.

She actually gives him decent advice by telling him that his problem is pretty minor and that it will probably blow over. He feels better and he repays her kindness with slamming the door to her house and waking her little nephew up after she'd just gotten him to sleep. Nice job, Dawson.

Instead of letting things blow over, though, Dawson decides to confront Jen. I kind of have to give him props here because it was nice to see him stand up for himself.

Dawson: He's not exactly here to watch the leaves change colours is he, Jen. No, I didn't think so. I think he's here to get you back. I don't know whether you think I'm super evolved or just plain oblivious to everything.
You go, Dawson. Even though, well you kind of are oblivious to most things vis-à-vis a certain friend who is clearly obsessed with you. Still, good effort. Jen claims that she wants to be with Dawson and that she and Billy are over with but when Dawson asks her if she wants to take Billy back and she has to think about it, he rightfully doubts her assertions. He invites her to Cliff's party and says that he hopes she'll come and that Billy will be gone and leaves her to think about things.

Way to actually be assertive, Dawson.

Pacey is working at the video store when Joey bursts in and demands to rent the English Patient.

I love you, Pacey

Joey explains to him that she needs the movie because it is the only thing that puts the baby to sleep and he relents and gets her the movie. Of course, Joey can't pass up an opportunity to bring up Jen and her ex in a smug and happy way that says that she really hopes that Jen goes back to Billy and gets the fuck out of her life and back to New York. Of course, Pacey sees right through her little charade of innocent gossip and cuts right to the chase.

Pacey: See, the three of us have been friends too long and up until now, I've just kind of stood idly by and watched this all go down. But it's time to lay this on the line, okay? You have some raging hormonal obsession for our friend Dawson and you just can't wait to get your hooks into him butt good, can you? Huh?
Joey: Bite me, Pacey. 
...I love you, Pacey.

Moving on, Gail and Mitch fight over their failed attempt at scuba diving while Dawson overhears them. Mitch gets in a good zinger about the irony of him being bitched at for floating away from her.

Mitch is on fire today.
Next we go to the Icehouse where Bessie barks orders at Joey who struggles to keep up with all the tables. She's poor so she has to work as a waitress, I don't think you get how poor Joey is, guys. To be fair, I kind of wanted to smack Bessie for confusing and rushing her when she's trying to take people's orders. Give her a second to finish the table she is working on, for fuck sake!

Well then don't rush her, Bessie!

Pacey comes in and yet again defies my dislike of Joey and makes me ship them when he asks her to accompany him to Cliff's party. Sure, he's doing it so he won't be going alone and convinces her to go by saying Dawson will be there alone but, come on!

Look at the cuteness of them.

Dawson is getting ready to go to Cliff's party when Mitch walks in to see how he is. Dawson complains about his situation with Jen and Mitch tries to make him feel better and then this happens:

Dawson: Let's face it, dad. We're a couple of nice guys, which stopped being a desirable character trait about half a century ago.
Oh my god no, Dawson. Just no. I could go on and on about the no-ness of this stupid, overdone, generalised complaint that guys use about girls. Because you know what? The supposed "nice guys" that complain that girls only like jerks, are trying to get with super hot girls with daddy issues rather than actual nice girls. Let me just be really clear here, NOT ALL GIRLS DATE JERKS OR DON'T WANT NICE GUYS. There are a few really shallow people who prefer looks over personality. That goes both ways, both guys and girls are guilty of this because I have seen plenty of guys follow around a hot bitch who treats them like shit, like they are her own personal servant/lap dog. I just, really, really, hate this generalisation so fucking much I want to punch things and I hate everything and...

Sorry about that. Nice guy syndrome
is kind of a trigger for me.
Alright, moving on, Jen is walking down the beach with Billy who says he wants to take her back to New York with him. Jen insists she will just come straight back to Capeside as she sees it as her home now. She tells him it's over and that she needs to go to the party to find Dawson. Billy asks for one last kiss for old time's sake. Jen accepts on the condition that it's one kiss and he's gone. He promises and she obliges him with a very brief peck which restores my faith in her a bit because she gave him what he wanted while also making clear that there are no feelings involved. Kudos, Jen.

Peck and push

At the party, Joey looks as sullen as ever as Pacey spots a girl he wants to talk to and asks her how she thinks he looks. Joey responds in her native Snarklish that is common to her people.

I just...how can you not love him?

Dawson then approaches Joey and she's suddenly all smiles while they banter about how much better they are than the jocks and the cheerleaders at the party. Really nice, guys. You know, neither one of them has been bullied or put down upon by any jocks or cheerleaders unless you count Nellie but I don't think she was a cheerleader and she's thankfully dropped off the face of the Earth so really, these two are just being pretentious dicks. Maybe they do belong together.

Dawson proposes they have one drink and then ditch the party in favour of the video store. Since he got dance themed movies for the school dance, what do you want to bet they pick to watch this time? My money is on House Party.

Or would that be too "crazy" for them?
Dawson goes to get them some drinks but then bumps into Jen and forgets all about Joey. In this case, Dawson really is a shitty friend. You don't just go wander off when someone is waiting for you, it's rude. Jen apologises, says she ended things with Billy for good and then they go and talk.

Nice Dawson, just forget about your friend
who is waiting for you. Don't even tell her
where you've gone. Douche.

Joey is approached by a guy who looks even less like he belongs in high school than Billy "the kid" does. She turns him down when he asks if she'd like a drink, saying her friend Dawson is getting her one. He then points out that Dawson is walking away on the beach with "that cute, blond chick." Joey is crushed and takes Old Man Beach Bum's drink.

If you take drinks from strange older men,
you're gonna have a bad time.

Dawson and Jen attempt to mend their relationship but Billy quickly ruins this and let's slip that he and Jen kissed. Dawson is not pleased, especially when Billy mentions that it was more passionate than it actually was. This makes me super pissed because to me, it was a goodbye kiss so this guy just basically came to ruin her current relationship to be a dick. Billy asks Jen to tell him if all the kiss meant was goodbye.

It said goodbye to me but whatever. Continue to
create the drama, Billy. That's what you're here for.

Pacey takes Joey's drink from her and tells her to pace herself. Pacey told her to pace herself, heh heh. Yes, I amuse easily, what of it?

It's a little funny, right? Or am I more drunk than Joey?

Anyway, Pacey tries to help her out but the blond dude comes back and takes her away.

Pacey does not approve. Look at him, it is on!

Billy and Dawson gets into a pissing match with each other over who is the third wheel resulting in Dawson basically calling Jen a slut. Jen then decides that she's the third wheel and leaves.

Pacey follows Joey and Blond Beach Bum and pulls them apart. Joey is clearly completely trashed and tells Pacey to leave. The guy tries to skeeve on Joey again and Pacey pulls him off her. Then this happens:

Awwww, he hurt his hand doing it too.

But who gets the credit for getting Creepy McRaperston off of Joey?

Girl, seriously? I know you're drunk but damn.

Dawson, because Joey is a drunken idiot and can't tell who was being the better friend for her that night. Dawson abandons her, causing her to drink out of anger whereas Pacey made sure to check up on her and when he saw she was drunk, tried to take care of her. Then he protected her from getting into a bad, alcohol-fuelled situation. Yet Dawson is still her hero. I roll my eyes hard at this scene, I tell you.

What the fuck?
Dawson and Pacey sneak Joey home. Pacey tries to keep baby Alexander quiet while Dawson puts Joey to bed. Pacey is freaking adorable because he remembers that the English Patient helps to sooth Alexander and even though he thinks the movie blows, he still knows the basic plot and his improv of it is pretty funny.

I promise, Pacey.

Dawson talks to a passed out Joey and tells her that if she ever needs him, all she has to do is ask. She then wakes up for a second and kisses him.

Millions more teen squees

Back in the Leery household, Mitch comes across Gail putting the scuba diving equipment away. Mitch tells her that he doesn't think the new stuff needs fixing in their relationship, but that the old stuff could use some work. He then puts music on and asks her to dance. Gail leans in to kiss him but Mitch tells her they have to do things one step at a time.

In other words, REJECTED!

As Dawson and Pacey make it back across the creek, Dawson lets it slip that Joey kissed him. Pacey asks what kind of a kiss it was, an "Aunt kiss" or a "kiss, kiss" and Dawson says it was an actual kiss but that it meant nothing and blah, blah, blah still too stupid to figure it out.


Pacey spells it out for Dawson that Joey is completely obsessively crushing on him. Dawson brushes this off saying that what Joey and him have together is friendship, not love. Yeah but that doesn't change the fact that your friend just told you that your female friend has a huge crush on you. You think you are friends but he's telling you that she wants more. you can't just ignore that information by white washing it with the "nah, we're just friends" brush. Fuck, Dawson, come into reality!

OK, fine! Stay oblivious for all I care.

Dawson passes by Billy the kid who is finally leaving. Billy says that Jen officially dumped him and Dawson excitedly goes to claim his prize.

Except that Jen is breaking up with him too. She explains to him that she has always been in relationships and that she has never stayed home on a Saturday night. She also says that she needs to live life on her own for a bit which is kind of good and I can respect that. She then says that she'll miss him and that she'll probably end up wanting him back but he'll probably be with someone else and then Dawson unleashes a bitchy tirade on her.

Dawson: Somebody who appreciates me. Somebody who doesn't blow into town with her dysfunctional past and play mind games with the boy next door. Somebody who is capable of a healthy, committed relationship and unfortunately, somebody nothing like you.
Yikes, that was rather harsh considering she broke up with you way more maturely than most fifteen year olds do. Then again, your reaction is also pretty much how a fifteen year old would act so, kudos. Dawson then storms away, leaving Jen alone on the pier.

Look at her, she's holding herself, she's so sad.

Actually, does anyone notice that this season, anytime Jen is upset or by herself, she crosses her arms? Even when she was in Dawson's movie, acting mournful, she did the same thing.

Apparently Michelle Williams used to think that to act upset and vulnerable, you have to hug yourself. Thankfully, she's improved since then as far as I can recall.

Well, that was Boyfriend. After all the build up to get Dawson and Jen together, they are now broken up. I remember my teen self starting to hate Jen at this point, probably just because she actually wanted to stay home and not have a boyfriend and I wanted not to stay home and to have a boyfriend so I thought she was crazy to want to give that up. Understanding her past more, I understand her decision now but I know I'm going to hate her again soon.

So, will Dawson confront Joey about her supposed feelings for him next episode? Will Jen regret her decision? We'll have to wait and see in the next episode Road Trip.


  1. Your nice guy rant: yes. Yes. All of this.

    Also, I swear to goat, that blond dude macking on Joey was 40 years old if he was a day. That hair!!!

    And bless you for using a Van Der Meme gif. Bless you.

    1. Right? I was watching the ep being all "hah, Billy can't pass for highschool!" Then I got to the beach bum dude and I was like "I give up, fine everyone under 40 is in high school now." :|

      I just had to use a Van Der Meme there. I just had to.

      I hate the Nice Guy excuse. It's crap and it makes my brain hurt when I hear it. No, no, still cool. I'm still cool...


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