Wednesday, 27 March 2013

Dawson's Creek - 202 - Crossroads

Original air date: October 14, 1998

Hey, you know what I realised again? That we are still starting episodes in Dawson's room. Let's see if this trend lasts throughout season 2 as well. Another landmark to look forward to, yay!

We open up this episode with an infomercial about a spaghetti and sausage maker in one. The commercial goes on about the different sized and types of sausages it can make when the camera pans over to Dawson and Joey having a noisy make out session. Get it? Get it? The commercial is talking about making sausages and Dawson is making one his pants!

Uh oh, James grossed himself out
 Gail and Mitch come in and interrupt their make out session. Dawson sheepishly asks them if they've met Joey to try and ease the awkward out of the situation. It doesn't work but luckily the theme song comes in to do the job right. This marks the first time an episode hasn't opened with Dawson and Joey bickering about metaphors, girls or whether or not they think the other one thinks they made a mistake getting together. Congratulations to the writers for changing things up finally.

Thanks for not putting us through another
one of their arguments, writers
We then cut to Pacey in a classroom. A cop is handing out papers and congratulating people but says that Pacey missed passing by one point. He's apparently failed his driver's license test which depresses him because he wanted to pass it on his birthday and...hang on a second!

In the first season, Pacey was the guy with the wheels. Now, I know they mentioned that he "borrowed" his parents' car without permission but then that seemed to be the only issue people had with it. On top of that he also drove a truck that did appear to be his, or at least lent to him. On top of that, Joey asked him to drive her to her father's prison...Pacey even got into an accident with Andie last freaking episode! What the hell, writers? What are you trying to say here? Does American licensing work differently than here? Because here we only take a written test for our learner's permit, then we take driving lessons and practice driving with someone who has a full licence until we are ready to take the road test. Upon completion of the road test, if we pass we are awarded with a full driver's licence, at least that's how it worked at the time this episode aired.

So what? Was Pacey driving completely illegally all those times? Even if he only had a learner's permit, he was still driving illegally because you are only allowed to drive if there is someone who has a full licence with you. Did the writers retcon his character? Was he supposed to already be 16 last season but the writer's wanted to do a 16th birthday story with him and changed everything? What happened here?

Dammit, we've confused Ryan Reynolds again

I guess, Pacey went to the DMV or classroom early because we cut over to Dawson who is just getting ready for school. Mitch is lecturing him on being sexually active because they want to try and be parents now. Dawson tries to throw the talk back at Mitch saying that "this is surreal coming from you of all people." As if because his father is sexually active, he shouldn't be giving the talk? I don't know what Dawson is trying to say there. Then again, it is what a typical teenager would say, "hey, you guys are having sex so you can't talk!" so, good job, writers.

OK, can you explain to me what incest is?
I'm still not sure I get it

Joey then comes into the scene and it looks like Mrs. Leery has been waiting for her. She calls Joey over to her so that she can have "the talk" with her too which is highly inappropriate. I mean, I know Joey doesn't have a mom or a dad at the moment and the Leery's are kind of her surrogate family but she does still have a sister who is her guardian. If the Leery's had concerns, they probably should have notified Bessie and let her give Joey the talk...then again, she is an unwed young mother and she was encouraging Joey to go all the way with Dawson after one kiss last episode so...

Anyway, she shows Joey a book about the repercussions of having sex which actually looks like a guide to different poses to try so...I guess she wants them to have a spicier sex life than her and Mitch?

I wonder if Gail tried these positions
with "Back to you, Bob"

Dawson comes to rescue Joey and they leave as quickly as possible while Mitch yells after Dawson to remember, "No hat, no glove." Sage advice if I ever heard any. Remember, kids, if you don't wear a hat, you can't wear gloves. It just looks so gauche. Gail corrects him that it's "no glove, no love." But the damage is done.

Jen doesn't want to get out of bed and go to school, presumably because she chopped all of her hair off in an emo rage and is too embarrassed to show everyone her new 'do. Grams isn't having any of it and sings about getting up and giving God your "glory, glory."

I thought Glory was a God?

Dawson runs into an agitated Pacey at school. Pacey tries to tell him that he failed his driver's test and is upset but Dawson doesn't like hearing about other people's problems so he switches the topic onto his parents giving him and Joey the "sex talk." Pacey tries to get Dawson back on track by saying that he can't believe he failed the test "today of all days." Dawson blithely states that he can retake the test and steers the conversation back onto himself.

Dawson: Today, two weeks from now, what's the big deal? Anyways, it was weird. Of course it figures. Joey and I are together for a week and my parents are already shoving condoms in my pocket.
Wow, Dawson is a shitty friend. "Fuck your problems! My parents embarrassed me by having the sex talk with me." Also, I don't think the point was that they wanted you to nail Joey right away, the point was that they wanted you guys to think about the consequences before you get sexually active. But, Dawson is a teenager so it's understandable that he misses the point. What isn't understandable is that he does not listen to his friend who is obviously upset and ask him why, getting his licence today is a big deal to him. Or better yet, maybe he could actually take the cue and fucking remember his supposed best friend's birthday, since they apparently made pretty big plans around it and all.

But then I wouldn't get to talk about Joey

Jen is sitting alone at a bench when Pacey joins her. She notices right away that he is down and asks him why. Holy shit, they've barely interacted and the last time they spoke, Pacey was rubbing it in her face that Dawson had moved on to Joey and yet she's a better friend to him than his supposed "best friend" Dawson? Fuck this makes Dawson look like even more of a tool than he already was. Anyway, Pacey says he has a "bad case of the Molly Ringwald today" and she surmises that everyone forgot his birthday after going through a list of Molly Ringwald classics. She then wishes him a happy birthday.

An actual good friend on the Creek?

She also guesses that Dawson and Joey are so caught up in their own drama that they've forgotten him so she tells Pacey to forget them and celebrate his birthday anyway. Pacey agrees and says he's tired of being Dawson's sidekick and wants his own storyline.

More Donald Glover, yay!

We then transition to Jen picking up clothes or towels from bleachers. Apparently she's in gym class and has been stuck with clean up duty because she didn't give a good enough excuse, or so Abby chides her for.

That's right, the bitch is back!

What's better is that they actually start to bond when Abby asks her questions about New York. Jen is finally going to get the female friend that she longed for and I am in full support. I know, I know, Abby is supposed to be a bad influence and does actually lead Jen down the path of bad again but...they're fabulous together.

Look at them, all happy together

Dawson and Joey are in her room for once, I guess they are hiding out from his parents. They are having a good laugh about his parents and their "talk" with them. Joey mentions that she wants to write down Mitch's "No hat, no glove" line before she forgets because it was priceless. It really was. Dawson interrupts her and she puts her diary on the bed. This is important to note because it will be a plot point for this episode. Dawson tells her that when he pictures them together "it's perfect."

He then says that they don't have to do any of that "pretentious getting to know each other crap" because he already knows everything about her. Sounds...boring. So, in other words, he likes that he doesn't have to date her? He likes that he doesn't have to put any effort into getting to know her better because he thinks he knows everything about her?

Are you kidding me?

Joey seems to also be put off by this because then she starts to tease that he doesn't necessarily know everything about her. They kiss but are interrupted by her nephew crying. While in the room alone, Dawson spots her journal and gets curious. He reads it because he's a complete dick head and looks hurt by something she's written in there, presumably about him.

When Joey comes back, it's Dawson's turn to leave in a huff because, as we all know, running away solves everything.

No! You don't get to run away, it's my turn

Later that day, Dawson finds Pacey putting fliers up and asks him what he's doing. Pacey says he's throwing a party and Dawson still doesn't clue in and asks him "What for?" So Pacey tells him that he's expanding his horizons and taking new chances. Dawson comes back with:

Dawson: I accidentally read something last night in Joey's journal.

Wow, Dawson. Just wow. He's basically saying "I don't give a shit what you are doing, Pacey. You exist for me to whine to about my problems." Pacey ignores Dawson's comment and tries to keep handing fliers out to people and Dawson takes that as a cue for him to continue. He whines because apparently Joey wrote this:

"I'm so sick of Dawson and his stupid horror movie. I wish I could tell him how terrible it is. How stupid, and putrid, was awful."
He looks all butt hurt about it too but in two seconds I was like, "wait, weren't you dating Jen while filming that movie? Put two and two together, Dawson!" She was obviously frustrated about you ignoring her in favour of Jen and you're still a douche for reading her diary in the first place. This is such a non-drama and he's completely ignoring his friend and...

Awww, Pacey was kind enough to say it for me. Thank you, Pacey

Now, I'm confused about whether this is a different day or the same day. I get confused a lot with this show's time lines. Because, Joey was at her home but now she's walking out of school. I suppose she could have gone home during a spare and gone back but it just seems weird because they never explain this. I think we're on the same day though because Pacey's dock party hasn't happened yet and it was supposed to be the same day ie: his birthday. But, they are all wearing different clothes so maybe this is a different day.
Andie catches up with her and introduces herself and then awkwardly asks her if she can get her brother a job. Why would Andie ask for her brother? Is her brother incompetent? Is he too stupid to find a job on his own or ask Joey himself? Eh, Andie is an overachiever and is probably trying to help him find leads. Anyway, Joey agrees to interview him if he stops by.

If Joey didn't hate girls so much,
they might be friends...

Dawson catches up with Joey and tries to, very obviously, fish out what her opinion was on his movie. Joey states that she loved it and thought it was really good. He doesn't believe her and keeps fishing until she finally clues in that he read her journal. Cue huge fight between them.

We can't go one episode without fighting, can we?

Mitch meets with a friend of his and tries to get advice on his marriage. Gail talks with Grams about their relationship at the same time. Grams suggests renewing their wedding vows while Mitch's friend suggests an open marriage. Mitch's friend seems like a bit of a scum bag.

Hello Mitch's friend, whom
we've never met...ever.

Abby and Jen are hanging out after school, talking about the guys Jen used to date. Abby can't believe Jen ever dated Dawson after all the cute guys she's had and neither can I. Contrary to everyone else, making Jen feel like a slut or shaming her for her past, Abby actually is enthusiastic about it and I can understand why Jen likes to hang around her and ultimately fall back into her old ways a little better this time around. Here is someone who finally accepts her for who she is and was and wants to be her friend. She also doesn't have to work at being the good girl around her, she can cut loose and have fun. Of course Jen is going to want to hang out with her.

Plus, she's Abby and she's awesome

Dawson confronts Joey while she's at work about her diary entry. She is understandably pissed at him for reading her stuff. Dawson apologises for reading it but demands an explanation for what she wrote about his awful film making skills. You were dating Jen at the time, she was pissed about it, case closed.

It's elementary, my dear Dawson

Joey claims she never snooped but come on, her boundaries are questionable. I mean, she sneaks into his room all the time to hang out in his closet, that's weird. Regardless, I am on her side on this one and seriously, Dawson, you are a shit film maker but we'll get to that later.

Enter Jack McPhee. He interrupts their fight to try and talk to Joey about giving him an interview. Joey is distracted by dealing with Dawson's bullshit and ends up just hiring him and telling him to go do dishes right away. Then Dawson continues to be an ass-hat by making her the bad guy and saying she's been lying to him. Joey remains strong, saying that the issue is not what he read but that he read it in the first place. Then Dawson says that he's glad he read it because now he knows that he doesn't really know her at all.

Why won't women ever fit into the
mold I make for them?

Pacey runs into Andie at his party. He is snarky with her at first but when she asks if she should leave, he tells her to stay because she's the only person he recognises. She tries to make him feel better about his party by saying that they sometimes take a while to get started and then mentions that he might have wanted to get a DJ. Pacey gets annoyed with her again and tells her to go mingle but she says that new people make her nervous and when she's nervous, she can't talk. Pacey remarks that she hasn't stopped talking since she met him.

Andie is too cute, you guys

Abby and Jen are getting drunk on wine at Pacey's party. Abby sees Dawson coming and dares Jen to kiss the next guy who comes up the stairs. Jen agrees and of course, the next guy is Dawson and she kisses him. Dawson pushes her away and asks what the hell is wrong with her, leaving a crushed Jen to walk away sheepishly.

I think I'm going to vomit

Jack sees that Joey is upset and asks her if it's her first fight with her boyfriend. Joey says no but then says it is the first time they've fought as boyfriend and girlfriend. Jack says that she hasn't had her first make up with him then either and she smiles. As if, the prospect of having a first make up trumps the trust issues she and Dawson have but oh well, they need to move the story on. Jack offers to lock up for her so that she can go make up with Dawson.

Pretty nice to push her towards her boyfriend
when you obviously have a thing for her

Dawson confronts Pacey at his party and starts whining about the fact that Pacey isn't available to help him with his Joey problems and that he needs some advice. Dawson says that they know everything about each other which is why Pacey can help him. Pacey comes back with this:

Pacey: You know everything about me, huh? You know how I got this scar on my chin? You know why my father hates me? You know why I ride the fine line between insecurity and self-confidence? Correct me if I'm wrong, Dawson, but you don't know the answer to any of those questions. In fact, I bet you don't even know when I was born!
All the hugs for you, Pacey

Dawson finally figures out that he forgot Pacey's birthday but I'm kind of more concerned with his first two questions. You know, about the scar on his chin and his father hating him? Because that sounds really freaking serious to me and maybe Dawson should be picking up on that but at least he finally acknowledges his friend's birthday, I guess. Pacey isn't even all that mad about the birthday, he's mad because everyone in the town sees him as a waste of space who is unworthy of their time or concern and that he now sees Dawson as one of those people. Dawson tries to apologise but Pacey isn't hearing it.

Good for you, Pacey

Back at the Leery household, Mitch tells Gail that he doesn't want a divorce but that they have to make some changes in their relationship. He then asks his wife if she wants to try an open marriage. I really don't see how that's going to help a broken relationship, if anything it will drive a wedge further between them. This kind of wreaks of Mitch wanting to even the score and if he's at that point, where he feels he should be able to sleep with someone else to even the score, I don't think there is much they can do to fix their marriage.

Team...I just give up on these two

Dawson sees Joey and they make up in the rain because the rain washes away all their anger and their relationship slate is now clean. It's a metaphor, people! He then tells Joey that he forgot Pacey's birthday and how Pacey is really hurt and mad at him but then he steers the conversation immediately over to how he probably does suck as a film maker and he should just quit. Because everything is about Dawson and his pain, you guys. Seriously? You are the jerk in both scenarios and you want us to feel bad for you and for Joey to make you feel better?

Yes and you're also the world's worst friend,
boyfriend and overall human being

Joey explains to him, though she does tell him that what he did was wrong and she doesn't really owe him one, that she was venting because she's had feelings for him for a while that she was trying to hide and sometimes she would get really mad and needed to vent. She said that what she wrote wasn't the truth, just what she was feeling at the time. In other words, I was right, you guys.

She also says he's super talented and that she loved his movie and blah, blah, blah. Is it weird that I think everyone is lying when they tell him how good his movie is? Because they all sound like they are talking to a child that they are trying to build up. "It was amazing! I loved it" Yeah, it was a creature feature, calm your tits, people.

Abby and Jen see Joey and Dawson making up. Abby makes a comment about them getting it on soon and Jen says she doesn't think it will happen. In fact, she reminds us of what Dawson told her about what he thinks of Joey:

Jen: No, they're like brother and sister. I mean, Dawson even told me so himself. He doesn't ever think of her sexually.

Then Abby says she thinks they are pretending they're from Kentucky. I just love Abby so much, you guys. Also:

Oh my god, it is incest!

Jen says she wants to get back together with Dawson and Abby asks her why the hell she'd want to. I agree, Abby. Jen says it's because she loves him so Abby, being the awesome friend she is, says that they will get him back for her. I think I remember hating Jen in this moment when I first watched this because she did break up with him after all but I find myself feeling bad for her this time around. Like I understand where she's coming from more. She dumped Dawson because she was afraid of getting close but she still wanted him. I know the show is trying to paint her as the bad guy here but I say she should go for it, if nothing more than to save us from the nauseating "We're soul mates/it's complicated" Dawson/Joey coupling.

Get you some, Jen

Andie goes up to Pacey, who is sitting alone. She hands him a present and wishes him a happy birthday. She overheard Dawson and him arguing about it and felt bad for him. Awwwww! Pacey and Andie are so cute together. They share a cute moment together as they play with the magic 8 ball she got him and then Andie accidentally drops it in the creek. She mentions that she's a klutz and that some things never change. Pacey said that somethings do change, except for him, he's still the guy who's failing biology, he's just a year older now. Andie then says this:

Awwww, Team Pandie!

Jen gets home and sees herself in her mirror. She looks awful from drinking and partying too hard. I am convinced that Michelle Williams is the best actor in this series, of the young cast at least, based on this scene alone:

I think Michelle is one of the best
actors on this show

Dawson sticks around after the party to help Pacey clean up and to try and make amends now that his Joey problems are solved. He apologises for not being around and immediately brings up how "incredibly confusing and complicated" his relationship with Joey is and really? Can we please stop saying how complicated their relationship is when it's not? Please? They keep saying it's complicated but I've yet to see any evidence of how complicated their relationship is compared to any other.


They make up rather quickly and then Dawson finally offers some sympathy for Pacey not getting his licence. Pacey brushes it off, saying he can retake the test in a few weeks and Dawson suggests that he might need more practice.

Pacey: Oh, please. You and I both know I've been breaking that state law for at least the last 3 years.
Oh, OK. So, he was driving illegally last season and the beginning of this one. Alrighty then.

Anyway, Dawson says that he knows where the keys to the "Mitch-mobile" are and that they could still take the trip to Maine if they wanted too. They banter back and forth a bit and have obviously mended their friendship and Dawson finally wishes Pacey a sincere "happy birthday"

They make up

Well, that was Crossroads. I'm not sure what the crossroads, the title of the episode was referring to because no one really had to come to any difficult decisions this episode about where they want to go in their lives but I guess they can name their episodes however they want to.

I also find it funny how the only person who was a total twat to everyone he knew this episode was the main character, you know, the one we're supposed to be sympathising with? I also don't really think he worked that hard to redeem himself. I mean, Joey was already ready to make up with him when she came to talk to him and then she had to praise him to get him to apologise to her. He brushed Pacey aside until the end and basically was already forgiven by then too and he still tries to bring up his relationship drama with Joey as an excuse. But whatever, everything was resolved for him. Except that Mitch and Gail are apparently going to have an open marriage but I'm sure Dawson will be too busy with his oh so complicated relationship with Joey to notice and actual complicated relationship going on.

Next episode is Alternative Lifestyles. Also:

I have future feels about this line. :'(

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Dawson's Creek - 201 - The Kiss

Original air date: October 7, 1998

Welcome back dear readers. In case you forgot, we last left off with Dawson kissing Joey and I fully expected to move on to the first episode of the second season and find them in Dawson's room arguing about the deeper meanings behind Stephen Spielberg's Indiana Jones series while avoiding talking about having kissed and pretending nothing happened between them. So I was very pleasantly surprised to see actual continuity. Last season ended with a kiss and this season opened with that same kiss.

Thank you writers for finally continuing a story!

Unfortunately, this happy moment doesn't last long and they eventually fall into their usual argument mode. Joey, I think alludes to them having sex but chickens out before saying it (and she thinks Jen moves too fast?), which leads to Dawson thinking she was going to say that it was a mistake that they kissed, which then leads to Joey getting mad at Dawson because if he said that he thinks she thinks they made a mistake, he must obviously be thinking they made a mistake.

I don't even

After some more back and forth drama about who wants to forget what happened more, Joey storms off.

Running away solves everything!!!!

But then Dawson stops her again by kissing her.

Oh, it did again

Next we cut to Gail watching Mitch sleep because apparently, she's turned into Edward Cullen. Mitch is understandably freaked out but then Gail explains that she has a free morning and she's been waiting for him to get up because she can only think of one way she wants to spend it. This apparently freaks Mitch out too because he stops her before she can get very far and says he has to shower because he has a meeting.


We then cut to a, for once, cheery Joey. Bessie is suspicious of her non- scowliness and I can't blame her. She finds out that Joey was at Dawson's the previous night and puts two and two together and wants Joey to give her details. I know that Bessie isn't technically Joey's mom, I know that. I also know that sometimes sisters do talk about these things but for some reason, it just weirds me out that Bessie is so into her teen aged sister gettin' some.

Weirdest guardian ever?

Because so much time has gone by between episodes but this show is playing off like this stuff happened the previous day, Dawson and Pacey are hanging out at a salon, getting their hair cut. Nice cover, writers. Except that in Pacey's case, his hair has gotten longer and last I checked, hair cuts don't work that way but still, nice cover.

Just two dudes gettin' their hair did

What follows next is an inter spliced conversation between the girls and the boys regarding the Dawson/Joey kiss a la Summer Nights from Grease.

Sadly, minus the singing and Travolta

So the weird thing about this scene is that they've kissed, once. Once! After spending God knows how long denying their feelings for one another so the fact that they finally got through their whole deal and kissed, you'd think that Pacey and Bessie would be like, great so you two should go on a date but instead they are both weirdly like:

Sadly again, minus the song and dance

How weird is it that Joey's sister wanted to know if Dawson touched her? Whether she meant boobs or pussy, it's still freaking weird. I know when I got a boyfriend, my sister wasn't all "OMG! So, did he touch your pussy yet?" Because that would be weird.

Anyway, once we are done talking about Joey and Dawson, Pacey claims that because Dawson finally acted instead of sitting back and examining the situation, he can change too. He is now determined to change his image and be a stud. His first conquest will be senior cheerleader, Kristy Livingstone and to attract her attention, he decides to "frost his tips" And just..

Noooooooo!!!! What did you do to your
gorgeous brunette locks?

But here is where, even though I said I'd go down with the ship that is Joey/Pacey, I abandoned my thinking for a long while. Because, ladies and gentleman, I just could not in good conscience ship Pacey with someone who chose Dawson of all people over him. Especially not when we are introduced to the marvelous-ness that is Andie McPhee:

Team Pandie begins!

They also have their very own "meet cute" where Andie accidentally runs into his car as he pulls out. They play it like it's her fault but I think it's because he's driving his dad's or his brother's cruiser and usually hitting a cop means you're in trouble regardless. Except that Andie totally had the right of way because Pacey was pulling out of a parking space and should have yielded to traffic. But, I digress. She thinks he's a cop because he's driving a cop car and is kind of dressed like one:

Hot...except for the frosted tips

So, Pacey plays along and pretends to be a cop so that she won't report the accident and he won't get in trouble.

Meanwhile, Joey is just finishing talking with a teacher when she bumps into Dawson. They act all shy and cutesy with each other and then Joey claims that she might have made the biggest mistake of her life. Dawson, of course, thinks she is talking about him and is all serious face. Then Joey finally reveals that she told the teacher that she just wasn't going to France, in case you guys forgot about that blip of a sub plot.

Oh look, it's hypocrite Joey

She asks Dawson what he thinks of her not going and he says he's extremely happy and, apparently, aroused. This leads Joey to wonder once again if they've made a mistake and I'm left wondering if this is what their entire relationship is going to be like. Cutesy conversations mixed with overwrought angst over whether or not they should be together. In which case, this will be me whenever they interact as a couple:

I don't know how long I'll last before
I pull the trigger though

So, Dawson asks her out on a date and Joey pretends like she wants to watch TV instead because Luke Perry is back on 90210 but also because nothing can ever be simple with Joey, she always has to be clever. Always. Thankfully, Dawson ignores her TV comment and tells her that the Rialto is closing and that he'd like to take her to the last show on Saturday. She then asks him if he'll still be aroused on Saturday. Guys? These two are really nauseating together. I mean, they are that annoying couple that most people hate. I think I preferred Dawson with Jen. At least he could just hang out with her like normal and not talk all gushy romantic with her every second.

This picture adds nothing, it just amuses me

Speaking of Jen, she bumps into them and informs them about her Gramps' passing. They are concerned for her which is nice. Jen tells them that she is going to head home because she doesn't think that she can stick out the day. Speaking as a girl who had to go to school the day after finding out that her Grandpa passed away, which was when the school remembrance day ceremony was being held, which had a guy playing drums, which my grandpa used to love to play, I can attest that it is, indeed, hard to hold yourself together for a full day of class. Surprisingly, Joey tells Dawson to go after Jen to see if she's OK. I guess she can afford to be nice to Jen now that she won.

Side note: I love that they've tried to cover up Michelle Williams' obviously way shorter hair by pretending that she's just pulled it back.

Short hair cover up fail

Pacey is bragging to a group of random extras about what he did to Andie earlier which is a bonehead move because Andie overhears him. She calls him out on his bullshit and threatens to call the cops. Pacey acts like an entitled ass by daring her to because his daddy is the sheriff. I don't like Pacey in that moment. He also claims the accident was her fault and just no, Pacey. You were parked and pulling out into traffic, she had the right of way. You pulled out without looking so quit with the misogynistic "females are terrible drivers" crap.

I will correct you because you are wrong

Then Kristy Livingstone, the object of Pacey's affections, walks past them and says "hi" to Andie. Pacey is shocked that Andie knows Kristy and then says that she probably didn't recognise him because he just got his tips frosted. Andie is amused and offers to set up a meeting with him and Kristy. Pacey is surprised that she would be that nice to him.

Those are some good questions

At the Lindley household, Jen comes home to find that Grams is packing up all of her husband's things. She asks Jennifer how school was which confuses me because I thought Jen said she was taking off early. I guess she could have taken her time getting home but then, I also thought Dawson was supposed to be checking up on her. I see the writers are once again saying a big "fuck you" to time lines.

Anyway, she gets pissy at Grams for packing up her Gramps' things but Grams just looks her in the eye and tells her that she loved her husband dearly but that she watched him waste away in bed for two years so whether she packs his things today or next week he's still gone and has been gone for a while.

A little harsh but she's right

We next see Gail running up to her house and pleading with Mitch not to be mad at her for being late and that she definitely wasn't sleeping around on him this time. Mitch says that he believes her and she breathes a sigh of relief. She tells him that it's important that he believes her and then he says that he's got to go to an appointment that came up suddenly and leaves her.

Sucks when your spouse has mysterious
night time meetings, doesn't it?

Meanwhile, Andie has set up the meeting between Pacey and Kristy. Before Pacey goes over to her, he sings a little limerick about her which is both shitty and creep-tacular. Here it is:

Pacey: There once was a girl name-a Kristy, the thought of her nude makes me misty, a night on the town, we'll both go get down, by the end of the date she'll have kissed me.

Pacey, Petey, same diff

Pacey asks Kristy on a date and I guess she didn't hear his little limerick about her being nude because she agrees.

We then find out that Mitch's appointment is with a lawyer that specialises in divorce.

Dun, dun, DUN!

Dawson finally meets up with Jen. Except that I think we're supposed to forget that he supposedly followed her right after she left school as per Joey's suggestion because he acts like the only reason he is over there is because his mom sent him over with a casserole.

Jen asks him if he's going out and he says he is going to the Rialto for its last night. Jen then asks if he's going with Joey to which he stupidly replies "Yeah, who else?"

Not intentionally but still a burn

Seriously Dawson? I know she dumped you and you have every right not to get together with her again and to move on but this girl is obviously an emotional wreck after losing her grandfather and confessed that she still had feelings for you a few days ago. Maybe spare her feelings a bit. He then gives her advice to not sit around being sad and get out because it's nice out. He then leaves quickly.

Sucks that you're feeling bad, 'kay bye!

Joey is nervous about her date because she and Dawson haven't kissed since the first time which was apparently yesterday...except that it was clearly night time when you kissed, then you clearly went to school the next day and you said your date was on Saturday so...either Capeside has classes on Saturdays or the writers have no concept of time. I'm going with the latter for obvious reasons.

Bessie gives Joey a pep talk about second kisses being more meaningful than the first kiss and assures her that she will get her second kiss.

We then cut to Dawson, picking Joey up for their first date. He gives her a flower that he plucked from her lawn right in front of her which she, for some reason, finds charming. I would be like, "Bitch, you for real?" if he pulled that shit with me. Don't get me wrong, flowers are nice and a guy taking the time to pick you flowers is extremely nice BUT a guy showing up at your door and then going "Whoops, was I supposed to bring something?" and stooping down to pick one of your flowers to give to you? That is beyond lazy.

you, Dawson

Joey immediately makes the situation more awkward when she makes jokes about renting a motel room. Seriously, this is the bitch who thought Jen Lindley moved fast. Jen didn't talk about sex all the time but somehow, she's the slut and Joey's the virginal goddess. Whatever show, whatever. Dawson cuts through her sexual bravado by saying that he just wants to hold her hand.

This shuts her up, thankfully

Pacey waits for Kristy outside of the Rialto and is singing that awful limerick again except whistling for most of it and singing only parts of it and somehow, that makes it worse. Stop, Pacey! I'm begging you! Anyway, he's basically frustrated because she hasn't shown up yet.

Dawson and Joey are holding hands in the movie theatre when an usher comes down the aisle with a flashlight. Jen then appears and moves to sit next to Dawson. Uh oh, I smell...

Yes, I do

In fact, this plot point is now mirroring the pilot episode of the series but instead of Joey ruining Dawson's first date with Jen, we have Jen ruining Dawson's first date with Joey. Except that, I have to say, Jen's only crime is third-wheeling them. She isn't bitchy to Joey, asking her if she dyes her hair or asking if she's still a virgin or anything. She just joins them. Since Joey effectively ruined Jen and Dawson's first date, I think it's only fair that it's reciprocated. In other words,

Dawson proceeds to question why Jen is there, which is valid but kind of cold. She quickly picks up on the fact that she is not welcome and leaves, causing Dawson to chase after her and leave Joey behind. Hey, much like when he took Joey outside to talk to her and left Jen behind. Sorry, Jo but this is karma, you're going to just have to deal with it.

Dawson finds Jen in the lobby where she asks him point blank if he wanted to be with Joey the whole time he was with her. He says he didn't and I believe him because he was so absolutely clueless about Joey's feelings in the beginning and it wasn't until he and Jen broke up and Dawson saw Joey in an evening dress that he started to like her as more than a sister. Jen then has a mini freak out about how she was stupid to push him away and asks that Dawson not jump Joey right away because she doesn't think she could handle it. She turns a little emo too, suggesting that she would turn to razor blades so I guess we've entered into the beginnings of Jen spiralling out of control this season.

I'll totally cut myself, I swear!

Dawson goes back into the theatre but finds Joey gone. She has left in another one of her tantrums because, say it with me now "running away solves everything!"

Pacey is still waiting for Kristy when she finally shows up. However, she can't stay long because, big surprise reveal, her boyfriend is waiting for her. Ain't that a punch to the nuts. But wait, why did she agree to go on a date with him then? Well, she explains that she thinks he's really brave to try and live a normal life despite being under the constant cloud of death and that she knows that he didn't want anyone to know but his friend Andie told her all about it and it finally clicks in with Pacey. Andie set this whole thing up as retaliation for the prank he played on her and I just love Andie for this, OK?

Yep, you just got served

Grams is leaving the theatre when she spots Jen. Jen accuses her Grams of wanting to date right away because she's obviously over her Gramps. Jen then says that she thinks her life is pathetic and that Grams is probably the best friend she has except that she doesn't think Grams likes her. Grams tells Jen that she's her whole world and Jen says that if she's all her Grams has, she feels sorry for her. Jen is really falling into her emo role nicely. Grams then reveals that she had her first date with Jen's Gramps at the Rialto and that she came to the last screening, not to see a movie but to be with her husband one last time.

Bet you feel like a tool now, don't you?

Pacey runs into Andie at the store and confronts her about her lie about his life threatening condition. Andie admits that she made it up and that Pacey is deluded if he ever thought he could get Kristy to dump her hot, football champ boyfriend for him. Pacey then explains that he was trying to change himself but that he now sees that he can't and he has to go back to old Pacey, the black sheep Pacey, the brunette Pacey. Andie says that she thinks he should die his hair back.

I love you, Andie

Meanwhile, Gail confronts Mitch about his visit to the divorce lawyer. Mitch says that he doesn't think he can be married to a woman that he loves and hates in equal measure. Gail then says that he has two options, he can either give her another chance, wholeheartedly or he can go to the divorce lawyers, write a big cheque and make their marriage another statistic. She then asks him if he likes one of those options and Mitch says he does but he doesn't know which one yet.

Can you really blame him?

I don't really get this, are we supposed to sympathise with Gail now because Mitch isn't trying to fix the relationship she fucked up for no good reason? Because that is some bullshit, guys. How the hell do you fix a relationship that was perfect and had no problems other than Gail was bored. Mitch doesn't need to work on anything here, he was honest, he was a loyal husband, he was romantic, he was trusting and she cheated on him because she was bored of how perfect her life was. He can't fix that. Why would he want to? If they fix their relationship and everything goes back to normal again, won't Gail just get bored and cheat on him again? What I'm saying is that I understand his reservations and I'm still on Team Mitch.

Dawson finally catches up with Joey and even though they don't show it, I imagine him going through about 10 of her "thinking" spots, missing her by mere minutes at each one, before finally finding her here and it amuses me. Anyway, Dawson starts to apologise to her even though she pulled the hissy and ditched him. But, to her credit, Joey reveals that she wasn't mad about Dawson talking to Jen. She bailed because she was worried about how complicated their relationship is.

I can't be the only one annoyed with this

She explains why she chose not to go on that trip to France and she gives a reason that is laughably lame and transparent. Joey, it's not that France would have been "easier" and staying in a small town is "harder" and would "make you stronger", you didn't go because you wanted to be with Dawson. You are just as shallow as that girl who also opted not to go to France because of her boyfriend, deal with it. You were scared of actually realising your dreams and getting out of Capeside, of experiencing something new and different. So you stayed where you felt safe, with someone you felt safe with. I have no problem with that either, I just wish she'd own it and not be so damn pretentious about staying being the harder choice because it isn't and guess what? No matter how many times you say your relationship with Dawson is complicated? It fucking well isn't and just because you say it is, doesn't make it so. Your relationship with Dawson is as simple as, you like each other, therefore you are now dating. That's it. You are friends who are now dating.

Completely missing the point of what Joey is actually saying, that she is hiding from France because new experiences scare her, Dawson starts pointing out the France experience within Capeside. They banter back and forth about other french things they could enjoy and they kiss again.

Joey: French kiss. The 2nd kiss, the rational one. The one that requires thought.
And because, I can only assume, Dawson thinks she's just rambling and has no idea what she's talking about, he comes back with:
Dawson: You know I found out what they're replacing the Rialto with. A movie theatre.

But they use the new theatre as a metaphor for their relationship changing for the better because they love to talk about their relationship in metaphors instead of actually talking about their relationship and then they kiss again.

The end.

So, that was the first episode of the second season. I like that they are finally addressing the Mitch and Gail relationship issues that have taken a back seat for a while now. I love the introduction of Andie as a romantic interest for Pacey. Hooray for no more romanticised statutory rape for him. I can't stand the Dawson and Joey relationship though. I still really feel like Dawson is Joey's safety blanket. He poses no threat to her and shields her from actually taking risks in her life. Let's be real here, picking France would have been the harder option for her but she stayed because she was scared to go to a place she didn't know, that spoke a language that she couldn't speak and instead of facing those challenges and bettering herself, she stayed behind with Dawson.

Let's see how that works out for their relationship, shall we? Next time, it's Crossroads.

No, not the Britney Spears movie