Friday, 5 April 2013

Dawson's Creek - 204 - Tamara's Return

Original air date: October 28, 1998

Oh my god, you guys. I wasn't prepared for this. I can't believe how much I hate this episode. I was prepared for hating the return of Capeside's resident statutory rapist but I was not ready for how much I'd hate every story this episode. Literally, every story. This is a big downer of an episode for me and it's sent me into a spiral of sadness about this re-watch and I'm not even at the worst part of the series. No, the worst is still to come.

Pray for Blinvy

*sigh* OK, so we start the episode with (I'm shuddering as I write this) Dawson and Joey making out. I don't know why it bugs me so much, it's just that they are all over each other and it doesn't come off as hot to me, it comes off as awkward. Princess Joey stops the make out session, thankfully, because she is cold and there are bugs outside. Dawson points out that they can't go to either one of their houses because of his parents and her sister and that he thinks it's romantic to make out where they are.

I agree

I wouldn't mind making out outdoors if the setting looked like that...OK maybe I'd mind if I was making out with Dawson. Dawson defends the place and says that if she gets cold, she has him to keep her warm. Ugh. Joey says he is really cheesy and Dawson worries that she doesn't like it. Joey tells him that she finds it "unbearably sexy", excuse me a second...

I'm going to wear out this Van Der Meme

Can the episodes please stop beginning with talk of Dawson's "unbearable sexiness?" Please? And don't get me wrong, James is a very attractive guy. I've seen him in Don't Trust the Bitch and he is very attractive but him as Dawson? Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. I don't know why, but when he is playing Dawson, he becomes unbearably UNsexy. Moving on.

Dawson is chatting with his father the next day. His father is meeting some mystery woman to look at a warehouse she has for sale. Why, you ask? Remember way, way back in the pilot episode? When Mitch was working on a model for a seafood restaurant? No? Oh, that's probably because I found it so insignificant a detail that I didn't mention it in my recaps. Uh...but yeah, apparently Mitch wants to open a restaurant and he is looking to buy a building. Guess who the mystery woman is?

I'm sure it came as a surprise to no one

Tamahra tells Dawson that he is now allowed to call her by her first name. Watch out, Dawson! Pacey was allowed to call her by her first name too. She's going to add you to her young boy collection! Whoa-oh, here she comes. Watch out boys, she'll chew you up!

She's a man-eater!

Dawson runs to tell Pacey the news. Oh god, this story hurts me so much, he was just getting to know Andie and now he's going to be all gaga over his statutory rapist again. Pacey thinks Dawson wants advice because he got into another fight with Joey. His advice is very funny and very on the nose:
Pacey: Let me guess. You and Joey are having another love spat and you want my opinion. Well, here it is. Joey is being sarcastic and oversensitive and you, my friend, are being self-absorbed and self-catering.
God, I love him. Pacey is in a hurry to get to class which is so in character for him, you guys, so Dawson can't tell him.

This isn't a contrived way to keep the Tamara
thing a surprise to Pacey. Shut up, he
always rushes to get to class

Joey runs into Jack and tells him that he has the day off from the Ice House since her sister's sitter cancelled and she has an art show. Jack volunteers to open for them but Joey laughs this off because he's so klutzy. He gets offended and says he can handle it and Joey relents but can't resist a final dig at him to not burn the kitchen down.

Why do people in this show like her?

Abby has just gotten her allowance and wants Jen to go shopping with her. Jen wants to sit around and mope because Dawson rejected her and she's feeling left on the outskirts of the group of friends she used to belong to. Abby won't hear it and convinces Jen to go with her to cheer her up.

I'm going to miss this friendship

Pacey runs into Andie, who has a bunch of movies with her. He makes fun of her for her tastes, until he sees she has Dumbo, which is one of his favourites too. They bond over this and then Pacey asks if she wants to hang out with him and I got super excited, you have no idea. I love these two together but I also know what happens during this outing so now it just makes me sad.

I am so in

On that note, is it just me or did Joshua Jackson get like 1000 times hotter this season? I don't know exactly when this happened. He was cute last season but this season, he's just gorgeous. It's probably the lack of the dorky "Julius Cesar do" but also, his eyes are just spectacular this season. I am a sucker for guys with dark hair and light eyes.


Anyway, Joey and Dawson are at an art lecture being taught by the lady who helped Joey with her assignment last episode. Wow, some minor continuity for a change. Joey is completely riveted while Dawson is bored out of his skull. Joey calls him out on hating the art lecture and Dawson admits that expressionism probably isn't his thing. Joey gets offended and so Dawson explains further that it felt unresolved which further offends her. Look, Joey, he is stating his opinion about a certain type of art, that is what people do and not everyone is going to like the same things. I don't even understand what she is getting so upset about here, so what? Dawson isn't as interested in art as her, big fucking deal.

Get over yourself

The woman comes out then and tells them that she is teaching a drawing class and invites them both to come. Dawson says he has work and Joey says that she is not very good at art. The woman convinces her to try her class anyway.
Pacey and Andie are talking with each other, apparently about how Andie got into another car accident. Pacey proclaims her the world's worst driver but then is distracted when he spots the evil bitch queen herself, Ms. Jacobs. Pacey stares at her like an idiot while she introduces herself to Andie. I'm warning you, stay away from Andie's man, Tamahra! God, I hate her. She quickly leaves and Andie asks Pacey if he's OK because he looks like he's "seen a ghost." Pacey then bails on her to follow Ms. Jacobs, leaving poor Andie behind.


We cut to art class and it looks like Joey decided to go. The woman, Laura commends Joey for her artistic talent. Joey mentions that her mom used to paint and this is the one and only time so far that she actually looks uncomfortable to bring her mother up or talk about her death. Most times, it seems like she's bragging about it but I actually feel bad for her here, good acting by Katie Holmes in this scene. Anyway, Laura tries to encourage Joey to keep drawing and says that she can recommend some good classes to take.

Joey is genuinely happy for once...this won't
last long, I'm sure

Meanwhile, Andie shows up at Dawson's house. Clearly desperate for some insight on Pacey after he ditched her because, as it turns out, Andie likes him and is hoping he likes her too. Dawson says that Pacey hasn't mentioned anything to him but to his credit, he quickly amends it with that just because Pacey hasn't mentioned anything, doesn't mean he doesn't like her. He also tells her that Pacey's "obnoxious pig behaviour" is sometimes his attempt at flirting. This cheers Andie up.

Awwww, she is just too cute

Jen and Abby are sitting at a table after a long day of shopping. This is one of the last few times we'll see them genuinely liking each other and it saddens me. Abby spots a guy she likes, who is older I might add. She proceeds to flirt with him but the guy seems uninterested, until he spots Jen. He makes a specific request for her name and then says it was nice to meet her.

Joey is working on her sketch from class. She immediately closes her sketch pad when Dawson shows up. He tries to ask her what she was drawing and Joey admits it was just a bowl of fruit but freaks out when Dawson asks to see it. So he tries to tell her that he likes her "art thing" which is admittedly a poor choice of words but he is trying to be supportive and interested in something she is doing. She bites his head off and then he tries to apologise for referring to it as a "hobby" because he didn't intend to belittle her interest in art. But she isn't having it and decides to leave and then, this rage inducing moment happens:
Dawson: Well, so you're just going to leave it like this?
Joey: Like what? Unresolved?
Dawson: Yeah.
Joey: Why don't you just consider me a nonspecific, incoherent, expressionistic painting? (she kisses him on the cheek and slaps his back) Have a GREAT day, Dawson.
Back the fuck up

What the fucking hell? Your boyfriend is trying to be supportive of you and tries to say the right thing and you bite his head off. Not only that but you use his explanation of his opinion on art as a way of attacking him? What the fuck is wrong with you, Joey? He's entitled to an opinion on expressionism, it doesn't mean that he thinks all art is garbage or that he thinks you're stupid for liking it, he was just trying to explain why it didn't appeal to him. You are a fucking bitch-cunt.

I will consider you a bitch-cunt
and you will like it

Pacey meets up with Tamahra at her house (STOP, DON'T DO IT, PACEY!) and they have a boring conversation about awkwardness, silence, and Pinter and I'm over here trying to contain my anger that they are still treating this relationship like it's not fucked up. Moving on.

The next morning, Dawson talks to Mitch about his relationship issues with Joey. I guess he couldn't handle Pacey's honesty on the subject. Mitch offers this bit of wisdom:
Mitch: Well, in my experience, Dawson, erratic behaviour of the female orientation usually means the root of the problem is something unexpected. It's probably not about art. Go find out what it is.
Mitch, don't lump us all in with that Drama Queen, Joey. K? Thanks. Most of us are capable of telling people what we are pissed about and most of us have good reason to be pissed when we are pissed. We don't all have over-dramatic non-issues like Joey does.

Go fuck yourself

Pacey comes in after Mitch leaves, looking for advice from Dawson. Bad move, my friend. Apparently...ughhhhh! Pacey realised that he still has feelings for Tamahra.

Pacey, stop. Just please, stop it. Thankfully, Dawson gives Pacey the advice to stay away from her. I'm happy about this advice but also it makes me a bit angry because he's giving the advice based solely on the fact that Pacey hasn't yet recovered from the "gossip fallout last time." Um, excuse me? That's not the issue, the issue isn't town gossip. The issue is that it is completely fucked up and wrong of this woman to do that to him. Quit brushing her creepy manipulative behaviour under the rug, writers! But, he did tell Pacey to stay away so I'm just going to have to be happy with that.

Thank you, Dawson

Dawson also tells Pacey that Andie likes him. Pacey then says that Andie is a girl but Tamahra is a woman and just stop! Stop! Andie is a million times better for you than that creepy statutory rapist. I don't like Pacey in this episode. I really don't.

Since the Ice House is dead, Joey asks Bessie if she can check out an art exhibit. Bessie agrees but asks her to take Jack. They both mock him like crazy but Joey asks him if he wants to go. Actually, she does it in a really condescending way:
Joey: Hey, Jack! Do you know what an art exhibit is?
Jack: Yeah...
Joey: Do you want to go to one?
Jack: Sure.
Seriously? I think Joey would die if she didn't snark at people and belittle them constantly. How dumb does she really think he is? Everyone knows what an art exhibit is, Joey. There was no need to ask him like that. And despite her bitchiness to him, Jack still has a crush on her. Why?

Mitch and Tamahra are talking about her warehouse that she wants to sell him. He asks her why she wants to unload the property and asks if it's because she's in financial trouble. Tamahra responds by saying that they both know her problems aren't strictly financial.
Mitch: Yeah, well, since you brought it up. Um, a student, wasn't it?

It was your fucking son's fucking best friend!!! What the hell, Mitch? Were you that oblivious? Are you that flip about a woman who took advantage, albeit allegedly according to Capeside officials, of your son's best friend? A kid who you probably are quite protective of too? There's no way Mitch didn't know who the student was when everyone in town was gossipping about it. What the fucking hell, writers?! *sigh* Moving. On.

Jen and Abby are trolling the docks because Abby wants to find the hot guy, Vincent, from before. She apparently is really interested in him. Jen finds out that they are there looking for Vincent and has this gem of wisdom to say:

Jen: [...]yeah, he may be good looking but he's old enough to be your father. Haven't you ever heard of statutory rape?

I think my brain exploded
Yes! Yes! I have heard of statutory rape, writers. Can I ask you, dear writers, if you've heard of a little something called double fucking standards? Because you just wrote a doozy of one into one episode. Bravo, writers, bravo. You are the most classless pieces of shit ever. Remember everyone, according to Dawson's Creek writers women can have sex with teens because they probably love them but older men having sex with teen girls? That's statutory rape. I mean, am I the only one infuriated by this? They spent all last season trying to get us invested in Pacey and Tamahra's relationship, trying desperately to paint her as conflicted but hopelessly/tragically in love with her student and they've brought her back still trying to insist the same thing and yet when a girl tries to get with an older guy, that's when you try to preach to us about statutory rape? Un-fucking-believable.

Excuse me for a second...

Jack starts gushing about the art exhibit and Joey is blown away that he isn't the doofus she pegged him for. He then starts spouting off about how much he loves the exact painting that Dawson had said he didn't care for and how "intense" it is. I notice he doesn't actually analyse what he thinks the painting is though, he just mentions that he thinks it's emotional and intense.

The painting is intense. Good analysis, bro

Joey apologises for being a bitch to Jack and for judging him before she really knew him. That's nice of her, I expect it won't last.

Abby and Jen have found Vincent but there was one flaw in Abby's plan of snaring him, he doesn't like her. Vincent rejects her and Jen tries to talk to him about how Abby may seem harsh but means well, most of the time. Vincent then completely flirts with Jen and wants to see her again.

Abby is pissed

Joey tells Jack readily about how she's taken up drawing and Jack gives her the advice to draw what she's passionate about. Cue Dawson walking up. Jack gets obviously uncomfortable and excuses himself from the conversation. Wanting to make things up to her, Dawson offers to go to the exhibit with her. She replies, with her usual snark, that she's already seen it. So he counters by asking if she'd like to show him the paintings she really liked. She responds with bitchiness, saying that she knows art isn't her thing and that he earned his points just for tracking her down there.

What. A. Bitch!

Dawson apologises again for being too flip about her new interest in art and that he was just trying to have a discussion with her about art like they do about movies. Where they debate and share their differing opinions, he even mentions that she put him in his place a thousand times about some movie. This is valid but of course, Joey doesn't see reason or logic, she just wants to be mad.

Bah! I'm running away again!

Pacey confronts Tamahra at her warehouse and tells her that he is over her and I am happy to hear that. However, they are addressing this like it was a relationship without closure that is finally getting some and not in the way that this relationship was severely unhealthy and illegal, so it still pisses me off a bit. It then pisses me off further when this happens:


Thankfully, Tamahra suggests he leave and is not talking in subtext but then they have a stupid subtext goodbye where Pacey asks if she misses "teaching" and she replies that she does and he says that he misses her "teaching" too.

Yup, I'm using the Van Der Meme on Pacey now

Jen and Abby have an argument about Vincent. Abby is hurt because she liked that guy and she sees it that Jen stole him from her. Eh, he never seemed that into Abby, he always seemed into Jen but I get her hurt feelings. Jen tries to say that Abby can have him and that all she cares about is their friendship but Abby is still pissed.

Awwww, is their friendship over already?

Joey approaches Dawson to talk. She wants to explain her behaviour but she doesn't even understand why she's acting like that (Psssst! The writers just wanted you guys to fight so that they could break you up for more DRAMA!). She then says that someone told her that she should draw what was important to her and she shows him her sketchpad to reveal:

Shock of shocks, it's Dawson

Dawson is moved but then she says that she's not OK with that. Wow, you are going for head bitch in bitch town, aren't you? You're not OK with your boyfriend and best friend being important to you? What the hell, Joey? She then tells him that she wasn't fighting with him, she was fighting with herself. One part wanted to send him away and the other part wanted to hold him tight. Dawson asks her which part won and Joey asks him if this can be unresolved for now. Um, no it can't. That is a serious issue, you're sounding like you want to dump him for a really stupid reason and you want him to just deal with it and pretend like nothing's wrong? But Dawson is her lap dog so he agrees to let it be unresolved.

Oh Dawson, you are such a door mat

Pacey runs into Andie and starts pestering her about liking him. It looks like they are finally going to get together, so yay! Andie points out Ms. Jacobs and asks "don't you know that woman?" To which Pacey responds "I did but not anymore." Yay! Please tell me that means there will be no more Pacey and Tamahra interactions because these writers clearly can't handle it. And besides, look how cute Pacey and Andie look together:

OK, one good thing happened this episode

Leaving it on that note calms me down a bit but there was so much wrong with this episode. Joey was a complete bitch, Pacey ditched Andie after asking her out to pursue his statutory rapist, Mitch acts like he didn't know Tamahra was accused of having an affair with his son's best friend, no one acknowledges Tamahra as a statutory rapist but Jen immediately pulls that card in reference to Abby wanting to date an older man, and Abby and Jen's relationship is disintegrating. Wrong, this whole episode is wrong and if I had my way, I would will it from existence. That's right, I will rid the world of this episode.

The episode must die!

Stay tuned for Full Moon Rising. Hopefully it will be a less rage-inducing episode.


  1. "Pacey: Let me guess. You and Joey are having another love spat and you want my opinion. Well, here it is. Joey is being sarcastic and oversensitive and you, my friend, are being self-absorbed and self-catering."

    And thus Pacey sums up the entire series.

    Is Full Moon Rising about werewolves? Will Oz be there? Pretty please?

    1. Pacey is amazing at summing up exactly how I feel about this series and especially how I feel about Dawson and Joey. It's why I love him.

      Oh god how I wish Oz would turn up in the next episode.