Friday, 20 September 2013

Dawson's Creek - 211 - Sex, She Wrote

Original air date: January 20, 1999

So last week, we left off on a gripping cliffhanger where it seems that all of our characters, save for Pacey and Andie seem to have had sex. I'm guessing we're supposed to wonder if any, all or none of them actually went through with it but this was never something that piqued my interest and be warned, the climax is unsatisfying.

The episode opens with Joey and Jack saying an awkward goodbye to each other cut with Jen and Dawson saying awkward goodbyes to each other and with another cut of Pacey and Andie happily kissing. Oooooh, steamy. Did Joey lose her virginity to Jack? Did Dawson give his to Jen? Pacey and Andie seem pretty content, are they happy with their decision to put it off, or did they actually do it too?

Well, it's a good thing that this episode's theme appears to be "mystery" as Dawson is giving a presentation on the subject to his English class after the opening credits are done. Of course Dawson is comparing film mysteries to literary mysteries because, in case you forgot, he's into films. I like that the English teacher looks bored to tears with Dawson's over the top presentation. Good job, Mr. Peterson. The teacher then calls on Abby to deliver her project but she hasn't done it, so Mr. Peterson threatens to fail her if she doesn't turn it in.

The bell rings and everyone exits the classroom but Max Ford spots a folded up note on the floor. He picks it up and reads it, looking...mildly interested, I think?

This is his intrigued face.

Jack catches up with Joey where they once again awkwardly talk. Jack asks why it's so awkward and Joey snaps out a witty comment, that doesn't answer why things might be awkward to the audience.

Andie sneaks up on a nervous seeming Pacey, kisses him and thanks him again for the night before. She says he was a perfect gentleman and that she thoroughly enjoyed herself. Pacey seems uncomfortable with them kissing in public for some reason, but says he had a nice time too.

Dawson trots up to Jen and hands her an envelope with his newer new and improved script for her to read. He says he made some changes to it that "addresses her concerns". Jen asks if his characters now "do it" and Dawson responds that the Dawson character now does it with the New York girl he has a crush on as per their conversation. Jen asks if it was because of a conversation or because of their physical encounter and Dawson says "Let's just say, you inspired me."

Why is it that Dawson comes off creepier than
"bad guy" Max Ford when he talks about sex?

We then cut to Abby and Max Ford, who are apparently still friends even though Abby seems to hate him. She complains about failing English and Max Ford asks her bluntly if she had sex. When she looks confused, he explains that he found a note in English class that talks about two people having sex and he's trying to figure out who the note was written by and who it was for. The note says:

I want to talk to you about last night. The whole night was amazing, but sex changes everything. And I think we should take some time before anything happens again.

Abby looks extremely excited about the note and thus the "set-up" portion of our mystery themed episode has been acheived. Now, on to the testimonies!

Jack asks Joey if she finished her drawing and Joey casually whips it out for him to see. Jack is obviously embarrassed and covers it up right away, saying that he doesn't want anyone else to see it. Joey reassures him that it's for her professor's eyes only and Jack takes a look at it. He asks her if he can have it once she gets it back from her professor as a keepsake so that he can remember everything about last night.

Or most likely, so he can burn it

Andie sits down next to Pacey, who is looking at his history quiz. He gets extremely defensive when she asks if she can see how he did so she asks him if anything is wrong. More importantly, if he's mad about the quiz or at her. He says that last night was fine and Andie tries to talk to him about it but he totally shuts her down, saying that he has to study.

Andie looks crushed and I has feels again

Jen asks Dawson if he's ok and he says that he is and that they now have a movie to make. He tells her that they are still friends and "whatever word applies to what [they] are." Jen agrees that they are "friends. Or whatever."

Abby excitedly states that she will make her project about who wrote the note. Max says that anybody could have written it but Abby points out that they can eliminate 90% of the students and that there are three obvious couples, who all happen to be in the same class, to choose from. Pacey and Andie, Joey and Jack, and Jen and Dawson. I think my favourite part of this scene is when Max tries to pick Abby up, her response is just wonderful:

Yet another reason this character is awesome.
Oh and Max Ford's actual name in the show is Chris.
But I refuse to call him that

She asks him to focus because she needs his help and he refuses until she offers to let him touch her in bad places. I'm kind of saddened that she's offering to let Max Ford touch her because he sucks but on the other hand she does know how to get what she wants.

Dawson and Joey are stuck sheltering from the rain together and Dawson asks her what she has in her folder. Joey tries to brush it off as a drawing for art class but Dawson knows she was drawing a naked man and presses her how it turned out and asks to see it. Joey answers his question by throwing back her own about how his movie is going.

He says that it's going well except that he can't find a leading lady. He then goes on to describe Joey in mary-sue-ish descriptors that is all too common for this show because according to Dawson's Creek Joey is the best girl ever and she wins at everything, especially winning guys over with her awesome amazingness. And she's so super awesome and modest that she thinks he's looking for Julia Roberts but Dawson corrects her by saying "What I need is a you."


Joey finally clues in to what his script is about and asks him point blank if he wrote about their relationship. He says it's a "romance in the vain of us" and Joey then asks if she can read it to make sure she isn't going to be character assassinated. Dawson then claims that he would never write anything hurtful about her before ditching her.

Abby has apparently seen Dawson's rewritten script and is none too pleased that her and Max's characters have sex now. I'm guessing that means that Max is playing Dawson and Abby is playing Jen. She is happy that the script offers them a bit of a clue as to who wrote the note.

Jen comes up to them to talk about the script and Abby wastes no time in interrogating Jen as to the reality of the rewrites. I love how everyone has figured out really easily that Dawson's stupid movie is obviously about him and his relationships with Jen and Joey. Anyway, Jen let's slip that "what happens in [her] bedroom, is [her] business" Abby has hooked her fish and reels it in, getting Jen to all but admit that Dawson and her had sex. Or so it seems...

Abby isn't convinced that Jen wrote the note so she sets about interrogating each of our main characters, starting with Pacey. She gets him to sign a petition, in order to match the handwriting on the note. Then she harrasses Jack for his signature but botches the attempt by flat out asking him if he's had sex with Joey. She fails to get his signature or a confession.

Max Ford takes a different tactic with Dawson by asking for his input on how to play his character. Specifically the sex scene and Dawson clues in as to what Max is asking.

I love how incredulous he is about this.
Me? Have sex with a girl? No sir,
Lord Spielberg would not allow it!

Abby chats with Andie about signing her petition about getting a condom machine by saying that Andie should know from experience about protecting yourself during intercourse. Andie looks confused but Abby presses the issue by saying that what happened last night between her and Pacey is common gossip. She also goes further to say that Pacey said she was "lacking" but his experience is with a 40 year old teacher so what did he expect of her. This upsets Andie and she storms off without signing the petition.

Max Ford then approaches Joey but instead of interrogating her, he just offers to give her a copy of Dawson's new script. I guess so that she'll get jealous and then get Dawson to admit to sleeping with Jen? I don't know but she tries to decline, saying that she should wait until Dawson asks her to read it. Max Ford slips the script into her bag and tells her she can make the call.

Joey storms out and leaves her folder behind. Max shows it to Abby who's eyes light up at the discovery of the naked Jack picture.

Abby confronts Dawson with her new angle. Dawson once again states that he didn't sleep with Jen but Abby counters that Joey will feel really guilty for having had sex with Jack if Dawson didn't sleep with Jen. Dawson tries to ignore her so she hands him the drawing of Jack naked. He claims it means nothing but Abby points out that she hasn't drawn Dawson naked.

She is good at pissing off Dawson.
I approve

Abby meets up with Max Ford at the school book fair that is also going on and they plot to finally call everyone out. Max points out that Abby doesn't know who wrote the note yet but Abby is a friggin mastermind and is going to get whoever wrote the note to fess up once she gets everyone in a room together. The denoument fast approaches.

Hell yeah, she is

The next day, Pacey tries to talk to Andie but she is clearly pissed at him, with good reason. I'm having a hard time believing he could be so clueless as to why she's angry at him when he was a total jackass to her yesterday and kept blowing her off. So what, Witter, now that you're ready to talk she should just forget about you being a cold jackass to her yesterday?

You're breaking my heart, Pacey...
oh and Andie's too
Pacey has the gall to be offended that Andie is insecure about their relationship after a) the way Pacey treated her after their romantic date, which only gets worse when you find out what went down between them, and b) Abby picked on her insecurities and fed her a lie that most people would probably believe based on Pacey's actions yesterday too. But yeah, Pacey, you go ahead, be offended and pretend like she's in the wrong. Damn Pacey, why are you making me hate you in this episode?

Pacey storms out and Andie finds a mysterious letter for her in her desk.

Jen and Joey bump into each other at the book fair and Joey proceeds to be a gigantic bitch, as per usual. Jen notices the script that Max Ford gave to Joey and asks if she's read it. Joey snarkily responds that she "flipped through it". Jen asks her if she liked it and Joey basically slams it as one-sided and a story that's better left untold, which I guess I agree with but that's not Jen's fault. Joey then goes on to decry Jen for sleeping with Dawson which, hold directly the fuck up, Potter. What business is it of yours who Dawson sleeps with? You broke up with him, you started dating Jack, you pushed him away when he asked for your help on his film project. He owes you absolutely fuck all at this point and if he chooses to sleep with Jen, that's his choice to make. Did you honestly expect him to wait around while you dated other guys and "found yourself" so that when you get bored with everyone else, you can still be the one to deflower him?

You are seriously deluded, Potter

Jen rightly tells Joey that she should take her issues up with the writer because Jen is not at fault for what Dawson writes. She leaves as Joey glares at her because Joey is a bitch and have I mentioned how much I hate her character enough already?

Now it's Dawson's turn to be a piss-ant to Jack. He walks up to Jack, who has just found his own mysterious letter, and asks him where Joey is. Jack tells Dawson she's at the book fair and I add in "being a bitch to Jen" because it's the truth. Dawson then angrily hands Jack the drawing and tells him to tell Joey he was overwhelmed by her talent. To Jack's credit, he hides his embarrassment well by shooting back that he was overwhelmed too.

Dawson storms off with his panties in a bunch

We then cut to Jack waiting in a dark classroom while reading his mysterious letter. Jen walks in and they ask each other what is going on but neither of them knows. Pretty soon, the whole gang enters the room, each with their own note. Pacey thinks he knows who's behind the mysterious gathering but before he can say who, Abby enters the room followed by Max Ford with a camcorder.

Abby explains that she brought them to the room for her mystery project and explains that she found a note in their English class. She reads it aloud to everyone and pretty much everyone in the room looks like they wrote it but we all know only one of them did. Then, Abby proceeds to just own everyone in the room and it is glorious. I'm just going to go ahead and share this monologue because it is wonderful and I'm going to bold my favourite part, for you pleasure:

Abby: When the letter was first brought to my gut instinct said 'Dawson and Jen.' She's been trying to seduce him for weeks! And now with all their late night working sessions and him reliving his puny affair with Joey through his writing, I thought, maybe in the heat of the moment, he needed a Joey replacement. Then, I thought, Dawson, no way. He's saving himself for Joey...or old age, whichever comes first. And Jen? She has way too many intimacy issues to bump somebody she cares about. So my next guess was Jack and Joey. Joey is the liberated woman these days and underneath Jack's sensitive, little-boy-lost fascade, I have a feeling that there's a sex pig just waiting to jump out. *softer to Jack* Let me know when you're ready to graduate to a real woman.

Oh Abby, how I love you and your unrelenting hatred and belittlement of Dawson Leery. Anyway, Jack tells her she's full of it and Dawson claims she's not because they've "all seen the picture." Jack tries to explain that it was for Joey's art class but Dawson asks what happened after the modeling session. Joey snipes that Dawson shouldn't care because he obviously had sex with Jen. They then argue back and forth with each other about the fact that the other should tell the truth and I again question why anyone roots for this relationship. They seem like they can't stand each other and they obviously don't trust each other not to lie. Of course they build up to a big moment where they both simultaneously admit to each other that they did sleep with other people and then they stare at each other, horrified.

I, on the other hand, am horrified for both Jack and Jen because they are nothing more than unwitting pawns in Dawson and Joey's chess game to one up each other and it is sad. Seriously, I think Jen sums it up best though, so I'm going to throw her quote in here:

Jen: That's not the truth. We did not sleep together. I couldn't go through with it and neither could he. It wasn't right and this pathetic display here makes it all the more obvious why.

Exactly. Dawson and Joey are awful people who don't care who they hurt in their little games with each other. They are pathetic.

So, that makes two couples out and one left. Andie says she didn't write the note and Abby, masterful bitch that she is says that of course Andie didn't, she checked the handwriting and the note was written by Pacey. She knew all along, ever since she got Pacey's signature but she played everyone for chumps and got them to air all their dirty secrets. I know she's supposed to be evil and we're supposed to hate her but goddamn is she ever great at stirring up conflict in this show. She is an awesome character.

Andie confronts Pacey and asks him what the note was about but Pacey once again refuses to talk. I think he's supposed to be too emotional to but it is frustrating to see Andie hurt and looking for answers and Pacey offering nothing. Andie asks him what he's trying to say and if he doesn't want her anymore after they had sex. He doesn't say anything and then she looks like this:

Why, Pacey, why are you making her so sad this episode?

Jack looks like he wants to punch Pacey in the face and I'm surprised that he doesn't. I would have. Pacey claims that "that's not how it is." to Jack before leaving. Everyone leaves but to Jen's credit, she actually tries to stick up for her friends by calling Abby out for being so cruel and manipulative. Jen is truly the best person in the show. I don't care if she lost her way for a couple episodes and was a little annoying, she is still the best person. She actually seems to have gotten through to Abby too because Abby looks like this:

Am I weird for feeling bad for her?

The next day, my thoughts are proven right. Mr. Peterson asks for Abby's assignment and Abby claims that she hasn't done it, despite the fact that she did. Mr. Peterson fails her on the spot and that, my friends is why I love Abby despite the fact that she does put the main characters through the ringer. Deep down, she has a heart and she actually intentionally failed her class and is going to have to take summer school just to spare Andie's feelings. That's a pretty big sacrifice to make, so she really isn't all that evil. She looks absolutely miserable that she is getting an "F" but Andie whispers a thanks to her and she actually seems really happy about that bit of acceptance.

See? She just wants acceptance

Now if only the writers could actually keep this character arc going but they probably won't, they like using her as a villain.

Jen has another awesome scene in this episode where she notices that Jack is still at school and talks to him. Jack confides in her about how it's not that much fun playing second fiddle and Jen offers her understanding about his situation, since she's gone through and is going through it with Dawson. Jack asks her what she wants to do and she simply says this:

Jen: Well, I guess there's really nothing I can do. I mean, as much as I love the guy, he's just not there yet. I mean, I can take all the jerks in the world climbing in and out of my bedroom window, but when Dawson Leery does it, it better be for me.

That is awesome and Jen is awesome. I think this line is actually what shaped a lot of my views on relationships. It made me realize that I did not want to settle for a guy who wanted a girl, I wanted to find a guy who wanted me. It's a nice message, even if I don't buy the fact that Dawson is "one of the good ones."

Jen asks Jack why he and Joey didn't and after a bit of prompting and promising that she wouldn't tell a soul, Jack confesses that he couldn't get it up. I think this is the beginning clue that Jack is not into girls so the coming out episode may be coming up. Jen tries to reassure them and jokes that "those things never cooperate" and they laugh together. I can't wait for their friendship, you guys.

So cute
Pacey finally talks to Andie and tries to explain himself. He starts by showing her his History mark that he refused to show her before. He got an "A" and it freaked him out because he'd never gotten an "A" before. He was always predicatble but he now feels his world is changing and it's all because of Andie and it makes him scared. He puts it a lot more eloquently than I can so I'm just going to use his quote:

Pacey: I'm afraid because you're the single-most, important being to ever grace my existance. Andie, I am falling hopelessly in love with you. *pauses* Say something because I did kind of just cut it open and lay it out for ya.

Andie admits that she is scared too and shares his exact fear. I kind of like that she didn't respond right away with an "I love you too" it feels a bit more genuine plus, I don't think Pacey has earned it yet. He still acted like a prick for someone who wanted to be with Andie, he can't just use an "I love you" as a way of glossing over that. So I like that he said it but that she only expressed sharing the same fear as him in regards to their relationship and what it means to her without just responding back for the sake of reciprocation. You gotta earn it, Witter.

They kiss and make up

Dawson and Joey then have their usual ambiguous conversation about their feelings for each other because they can never be honest with each other. Joey refuses to give an actual answer about why she wanted Dawson to think she had sex with Jen but to be fair, it's not like Dawson was telling her why he wanted her to think he had sex with Jen so they can both suck it. They're annoying. They both say that they missed each other and they tell each other that they should try to be friends again. I thought they'd already agreed to try and be friends again and look how well that's turned out.

Dawson then has to ask what she thought about his script because he craves validation. Joey says she's not sure because apparently it was sooooooo mysterious. Dawson says that Joey is definitely a mystery and Joey says that she likes the way he sees her. They have made up as well and I guess we're supposed to be satisfied with this but all I can think is they both should be talking to and making amends with Jack and Jen but they didn't. So, I feel kind of empty after this episode, it was fun seeing Abby in action and I kind of liked the resolution for Andie and Pacey, even though he was really douchey to her to begin with for a not very good reason, but I don't feel like the Jen/Dawson, or Joey/Jack relationships were handled well. It was clear that the writers only cared about the Joey/Dawson relationship and wanted to further that but they threw Jen and Jack under the bus and they got no apologies, they were only left with feeling unimportant to people they value and that just doesn't sit right with me.

But as long as we're happy, no one else matters!

I really do hope that the writers address the issue of Dawson and Joey's selfishness with regards to their other friends but we all know they won't. I'm sure none of this will be brought up and all new dramas await us in the next episode, Uncharted Waters. Stay tuned.


  1. For the record, I always always hated Abby. I don't like manipulators as a rule, and I really hate the bad-TV-acting of a lot of villains on TV shows where you know if they had a mustache they'd be twirling it, and I feel like that's a lot of what Abby and Max Ford do. No one actually goes around going "Whose life can I fuck up today, muwahahahaha!" Except Iago.

    1. Oh they are definitely both mustache twirlers but I always liked Abby for at least being entertaining about it. Max Ford was always super bland but that is also Jason Bher's acting at fault there. He's bland in pretty much everything.

      I always saw Abby as a spoiled and yet neglected child who bored easily and made her own entertainment and she'd get so caught up in her excitement that she would go too far with it. Ultimately, she did seem like a good person though, as shown in this episode where she opts to take a fail rather than further humiliate Andie