Wednesday, 30 July 2014

Dawson's Creek - 302 - Homecoming

Original air date: October 6, 1999

OK, so here it is. The episode that both upsets me greatly but makes me happy because I was a girl split between two ships. Although, I at least had Pacey and Joey potentially getting together to get me over the heartbreak of the end of Pacey and Andie. I can't even imagine how much people who hated the idea of Joey and Pacey hated this episode. Shall we dive right in?

We start the episode with Pacey telling Dawson how excited/nervous he is about getting to pick Andie up from the um, did they ever say what the hell she was going to? An asylum? A psychiatric facility? A mental home? Well, he's going to pick her up anyway and apparently Joey is going with him. Dawson is psyched about that, so just file that one away for later, Dawson is happy that Joey is out of his hair and hanging out with Pacey.

Pacey asks about how things are going with Sweet Valley Eve. Dawson claims that she disappeared after the big party that landed him in trouble with Mitch. He even tried looking back at the strip joint but apparently she didn't work there anymore because she was just a temp.

That's a very good question, Pacey

It's one that the writers will not answer because writing is hard and they want her to be a cool mystery for Dawson so shut up! This was just for homework anyway and they don't care if you like it or not! Where was I? Oh yeah, Dawson is complaining because he wasn't able to get any with Eve and now he can't find her. Pacey goes on a rant that screams that the writers only view women as virginal girlfriends or slutty sex kittens meant to be objectified and since they've had sex, that is all they want and fucking love being used for sex. Ugh, Dawson's Creek writers, ugh. We've got a long way to go with Eve but we're not at the point that really pisses me off about her character yet so I won't go on a long spiel, I'll just say, I hate her and I hate that the writers just want her to be a sex object.

Shock of all shocks, Dawson is pulled into a closet by none other than Eve, leaving Pacey to wax poetic about how much Dawson can use a girl like Eve since she's tainted goods and is perfect for objectifying and for the sex with no meaning (FUCK YOU WRITERS!!) to himself. She and Dawson then make out in the closet and she welcomes him to the school and welcomes the audience to the opening credits.

And welcome to the opening credits

Dawson asks Eve what she is doing at Capeside High School and she claims she is a student. Even Dawson doesn't buy that. Do you see what I mean when the writers just want to make her a big mystery but don't actually want to write anything that makes sense? How the hell was she working in a strip joint then? Why the hell wasn't she in school before? She claims she's a senior but what the hell? I guess if she was left back she could be 18 but how old do you have to be to work in a strip club in the States? Like it could be 18 but don't those places serve alcohol? Wouldn't you then have to be 21 to work there? Then again, they are continuously letting 16 year olds into bars in Capeside, maybe she could have fooled them but she would have to have a valid ID unless the club is really shady I guess. I am putting way too much thought into this when the writers clearly have not. I'll stop now.

So, Eve is now a student because why not? She kisses him again and then claims she is late for bio. Dawson tries to get a last name out of her but he bumps into his father and the Principal. They ask him to put together a video trying to pimp out the football team, which are apparently a bunch of losers. Dawson tries to protest but Mitch makes it clear that Dawson is doing this favour for him because Dawson owes him one.

Go Mitch!

Meanwhile, what's this? Mr. McPhee is back in the picture? Apparently, he was feeling bad about being named Capeside's Worst Parent last season, being beaten out by both a drug dealing loser and an abusive fuckwad who both came off better than him and is trying to make things right. He's apparently moved his business to Capeside so that Andie can stay where her friends are. So...why did he sell the house then? Remember, that was why Jack had to move in with Grams and Jen? Are we going to address that? No? OK, Dawson's Creek Writers.

But anyway, now that Mr. McPhee and Andie are back, I guess that means that Jack can move back home, right? NOPE. I guess Mr. McPhee realized that he really liked having a trophy of any kind and is going for the Worst Parent of Capeside Award for the second year. That's right, Mr. McPhee has decided that it would be better if Jack stayed with the Lindley's. Why? Because he's a horrible person who is uncomfortable with having a gay son and has decided to cast him aside. How fucking horrible and how the hell is Grams supposed to deal with that shit? "oh great, you're back so I guess Jack will be want him to stay here still? But...he's your're horrible!" Jack rightfully calls him out for being the biggest tool on the show.

YES! Because you're horrible!

You win. You win Worst Parent in Capeside again. I don't even have to keep watching this season. You just win it.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! My spirits are lifted with this next scene! Do you remember last season when Joey wanted to go visit her dad in prison and Pacey took her there? Then when they were there, visiting hours were over but Pacey helped her get in anyway? Well, the tables have turned my friends! Pacey can't get in to see Andie to pick her up because visiting hours are over and he complains to Joey and then this:

Too adorable!!

Joey then talks to the nurse to distract her so that Pacey can sneak in to find Andie. This is when Joey became awesome, you guys! I did like her in the third season! I did and do!! Although I groaned at the fact that her distraction story is all about Dawson. Ugh.

After agreeing to make the Principal's football recruitment video, Dawson runs into Eve again. He tells her he is done chasing after her because he spent all of last year chasing after a girl and he refuses to make it a habit. For some reason, Eve still finds this somewhat charming but in reality, talking about how much effort you put in for your ex and how you're not going to put the same amount of effort into the new girl would so not work in your favour.

In Dawson's World, however, it totally turns Eve on because not being over an ex is hot or something. She's wild and carefree while Joey is small town, therefore she is all about the sex! She wants to have sex with Dawson bad because...I don't really know exactly.

Every day is your day in Dawson Land

Meanwhile, Pacey finds Andie's room and opens the door to reveal Andie on her bed talking with some mystery guy. Unlike last time, this mystery guy is not a figment of Andie's imagination, he is very real and Pacey is very jealous of it. Andie acts hella guilty so you know something is up with this because she's more awkward about Pacey being here to pick her up than happy about it. Joey comes in at that moment and excitedly greets Andie, this makes me sad because Andie very well could have been Joey's friend but this show refuses to let the girls be friends and with the way things are going to go this season, they aren't going to be friends at all.

Joey mentions that if they don't get going, she may be forced to stay so Andie starts packing her things. Pacey gives Joey a worried look because he can tell something is up. It's super cute and my Joey/Pacey shipper side is all "YAYYYY!!" while my Andie/Pacey shipper is all "Noooooo!"

I think "YAYYY!!" wins out ever so slightly
because look at them!

Jen is lamenting to Jack about being made head cheerleader and the fact that the cheerleaders are all starting to dress like her and only want to do sardonic cheers. Jack thinks it's funny but Jen is in hell because she didn't want to be involved with the school at all. As they are talking, footballs continuously fly their way because the players really suck but Jack catches them all and throws them back.

Jack then complains about how his father doesn't want him to live with him and Andie because his father is the Worst Parent of Capeside. Jen says she knows how it feels to have parents that don't want you and Jack tells her that at least she has Grams. Jen throws back that he does too and he has her. Awww, you guys, I can't even deal with how cute their friendship is. They are the best thing about this show. Anyway, balls keep flying their way and Jack keeps catching them with ease and throwing them back.

At the same time, a freshman kid, named Henry, is begging Mitch to be allowed to play but Mitch isn't having it because he's a freshman but probably also because he'll kill you on site if you cross his path.

Because he's a straight up murderer
Like cold blooded fucking killer who dresses in Dexter's kill suit

Have I made my point yet? Sure, both Funny Games and Murder by Numbers came out after this season but he still looked creepy to me and like he could be a serial killer, these movies just proved my theory that he makes a better psycho than a love interest. Basically, he always creeps me out whenever I see him thus destroying the supposed sweetness of his story arc this season. Now Henry is ruined for you all too. You're welcome.

We then have to be traumatized further by witnessing Dawson purchase condoms. Although, kudos to the show for showing a guy be responsible and picking up birth control himself. Very cool. However, it is a very awkward situation to watch because people start helping Dawson with his condom choices and it's weird and I don't think I have ever encountered people giving me advice about which condoms to buy but then I haven't bought very many. Maybe this is more a thing that happens to guys?

I really wish it wasn't, Dawson

Pacey acts like a jealous douche as he tries to get information out of Andie about who Marc is and why he is there. Joey tries to warn him about prying too hard but Pacey ignores her and presses anyway. Andie asks him if he is jealous and Pacey admits that he is because Marc got to spend all summer with her when he didn't get to. She is moved by this and they kiss. Yay! or Boo! or Yay? no boo? I-I don't know how to feel!!!

Why must I like both couplings!?

Back at football practice, Henry is finally being allowed to play and he really wants to impress Mitch. So, how does he go about doing this? By asking Jack to be a ringer for him. I don't understand, is this to prove that Henry is a good player or that Jack is? It seems like a weird way to prove yourself by bringing a really good player onto the team who also isn't a freshman and therefore might steal your spot but whatever. This is his plan and it works. Henry throws the ball and Jack catches it. Yay!

The next day at school, Jack finally gets to say hi to his sister and she is happy to see him. Pacey interrupts their reunion to ask her on a date. Andie says that she wants to hang out with everyone which is supposed to seem odd but really, she just got back so I can't begrudge her wanting to spend some time with her brother and friends. Wait, this show hates friendships except for Jen and Jack because they're awesome. But she would still want to hang out with her brother maybe. Sorry, I'll stop yammering. Jack says he's going to a pep rally with Jen and Andie gets excited and wants to go, leaving Pacey to be all pissed because he wanted alone time with Andie and she's clearly been avoiding it and is not that happy to be back with him.

Mitch officially asks Jack to be part of the football team because he and Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer were really great together. Jack is hesitant because he's gay and apparently that means he's not allowed to play football but Mitch says that's stupid because it is and he persuades him to give it a chance.

Dawson bumps into Jen at the pep rally and she spots his stash of condoms. She is impressed by the new Dawson and asks him who the lucky girl is. Dawson refuses to tell but he asks her for advice. Her advice is kind of awesome:

Jen: Let's say that you have an ice cream sundae right in front of you and you have no spoon. Now, it's a hundred degrees out and you're starving. Now, do you lick the ice cream or do you bite right in? 
Dawson: Bite right in. 
Jen: Too fast. See, first you have to watch the sundae, admire the sundae, then, just before it's about to drip, you let your lips lick around the exterior, savouring every inch. You want that sundae to last a long time... ...but not too long, because then the sundae ends up all over the table instead of in your mouth. But Dawson, if you remember one thing, let it be this...If you don't get the whipped cream all over your face, you're not doing it right. You see what I'm saying?
Dawson is confused as hell because he thought girls existed to pleasure him and didn't consider that he'd have to try and pleasure the girl. This is why Jen is awesome, because she pointed out to him that women want to enjoy sex too. This is also why Dawson sucks because he's always only thinking of himself and what he will get out of things. Boo, Dawson.

Pacey, Andie and Joey show up and are watching the pep rally. They are all surprised to see that Jen is now a cheerleader and Jack is on the football team. In fact, this is Andie's reaction:

Look, the writers aren't very sensitive about mental issues or knowledgeable...
Also, can we discuss how dire that hair do is? Wow, hair people,
what did Meredith do to piss you off so much?

Anyway, the pep rally continues as the team is introduced. Henry's name is called and he bumbles onto the stage and falls into Jen. I think this is supposed to be their meet-cute but since I'm predisposed to think of him as a psycho killer, it looks more like he's plotting her murder:

Go on a date with me or I'll stab you!!!

Pacey is fed up with Andie constantly brushing him off and refusing to be alone with him, so he grabs her by the arms and leads her out of the auditorium. Shit is going to go down and I'm still confused as to how to feel. On the one hand, their end means the beginning of my very first ship on this show and I'm so excited for that to happen, on the other hand, they are about to end and they were so cute together. Can Pacey just have all the girls? I know, I know, illegal and stuff but damn it, that man just has chemistry with everyone.

Dawson starts to play his video about the football team when Eve shows up. Dawson, being the true nerd that he is, wants to watch his video instead of getting it on with Eve. Eve just tells him that's a lame ass excuse and pulls him to her anyway. Why the hell does she want to be with Dawson though, seriously? The guy has zero charisma.

Pacey and Andie are outside and he demands that she tell him what's up. Andie doesn't want to talk about it but agrees to tell him only if he lets her say everything she wants to and not talk until he's done. He promises that he will let her talk and so she tells him that her and Marc were extremely close and shared all the same fears and yadda, yadda, yadda, Pacey guesses that she had sex with him and she says she did but regrets it. She begs him to forgive her but he just walks away. I really hate this because I can see both sides. Andie is completely regretful of her mistake and I guess I can see why it happened, but I can also see why Pacey wouldn't be able to forgive her because it hurts when you trust someone and they betray you. *Sigh* This is it, the end of Pacey and Andie and it has always somewhat tarnished my joy of finally getting to see Pacey and Joey together because damn it, I loved Pacey and Andie too.

Why must shipping be so hard and confusing sometimes?

Dawson and Eve try to get it on but Dawson accidentally hits the button that lifts the screen up and exposes them to everyone including his father and Joey. They bow to the cheering audience but it's clear Dawson knows he's in trouble. Eve tries to get him to leave with her but Dawson refuses and wants to get a ride home from his father. God, he sounds lame right now. He admits to Eve that she is just sex to him and that he wants his first time to mean more. Eve confesses that she wanted to have sex with him because she looked into his eyes and saw an old soul. That's weird but Dawson is flattered by it so win for him, I guess. She tells him her full name is Eve Whitman but refuses to give him her number and she disappears again because she must remain the appealing mystery sex girl.

Joey talks Pacey into talking to Andie and trying to forgive her even though he is really mad at her. She gives some really great advice about it too and it actually sounds like she's acknowledging her own mistakes and learning from them. Here's what she says:

Joey: You think that just because the two of you were together what she did hurts more? It doesn't. There's no difference, Pacey, I mean... Look, she's sixteen years old and so are you. We talk like we know what's going on, but we don't. We don't have any idea. Look, we're really young and we're gonna screw up a lot! You know, we're going to keep changing our minds and ... and sometimes even our hearts. And through all of that, the only real thing we can offer each other is forgiveness. And I couldn't do that. Or at least I did it too late. Don't let yourself get so angry that you stop loving because one day you wake up from that anger and the person you love will be gone.

Like, holy crap. Whole new Joey. I'm really liking her so far this season. I knew there was a point in this series that I liked her and of course, it's when she's with Pacey. Pacey makes everyone better.

I will keep posting this and you will all like it!!

Ugh, it's another Mr. McPhee scene where he basically just commands the Worst Parent of Capeside award yet again. Grams told him to get his ass down to the school to see his son because she's awesome and somehow, Mr. McPhee screws it up. Why? Because now that his son is a strong, manly, football player, it is acceptable for him to come home. Fuck you, Mr. McPhee. Jack tells him off for the same reason and points out that it shouldn't take a football jersey for him to accept his gay son. Mr. McPhee tries to agree but realizes how much of a douche he comes off as and backs down. Jack throws him a bone by asking his father to ask him to come home again sometime. It's quite sad, because he clearly wants to go home but wants it to be because his dad truly wants him there, not just because he lived up to some symbol of masculinity in his dad's head.

Pacey talks to Andie again because the show wasn't done ripping out my heart with their earlier scene. They had to go and make Pacey say this:

Pacey: Whether or not I can forgive you, Andie, is not going to be what keeps us apart. What you did... Our relationship was like this beautiful thing, and I don't think you ever realized how powerful it was. You changed my life, Andie, you were that person for me. You inspired me to be a man that I'd only ever dreamt about being. When you first started to get sick, it dawned on me that I might not be that person for you. I can never go back to loving you the way I did knowing that my love wasn't strong enough the first time around. I could always forgive you, Andie, but I will never forget.
But then Andie has to say this:

And then Pacey shuts her down with:

Right. In. The. Feels.

Dawson and Joey also talk things out but it's boring and I don't ship them so I tuned out. Basically they are OK with each other and agree to not date or try to date for a while. They also agree to branch out and meet new people. They also get a bit pretentiously annoying with this:

Oh dear God, I hope not. The world does not need multiple Dawsons and Joeys, especially not together because they become horrible people when they are together. Seriously. Just no. No. What a horrible thought. End episode.

So, this was the episode that ended one of my favourite couples and I do think it's kind of unfair. I hate that it made Andie out as the bad guy just so that Pacey could be sympathetic when he moved on to Joey. I hate that it kind of went against Andie's character to have her cheat, she just did not seem the type at all. And I hate that they are over when they only had a season together and I hate that I know there is no future rekindling of this relationship because I know (spoilers) she gets written out of the show. I don't think it was fair to her character and she kind of goes downhill from here too which is sad. This show basically torches every female character except for Joey which also makes me sad. However, I am excited for Pacey/Joey so, at least I have that to look forward to.

Next episode is None Of The Above. Find out if Sweet Valley Eve will steal Dawson's V-card from Joey, if Henry has plans to take Jen to his kill room, and if the Pacey/Joey friendship will continue to blossom.


  1. Kevin Williamson leaves and Joey suddenly stops sucking as a character. Coincidence? I THINK NOT

    1. I don't think it's a coincidence at all, which is weird because Joey is based on a childhood friend of his. Maybe he secretly hates himself and his friend and that's why he made Dawson and Joey act like such dicks.

      My theory is then that since Kevin Williamson left, the writers went "fuck that guy" and continued making Dawson suck while also ripping apart his life and making it miserable most of the time but improved Joey because, she is actually an interesting character when written well.

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. My guess is KW is as un-self aware as Dawson himself and thus didn't realize he was writing a pair of douchecanoes. I understand a similar lack-of-self-awareness-when-writing-a-character-based-on-yourself is part of what torpedoed Smash.

  2. Also all your comments on Henry had me cackling.

  3. I've just downloaded iStripper, so I can have the best virtual strippers on my taskbar.