Monday, 26 January 2015

Dawson's Creek - 314 - Valentine's Day Massacre

Original air date: February 2, 2000

Welcome back to the recaps. When we last left off, Dawson had quit film class, Joey went on a date with college guy, Pacey acted in a play, and Jen avoided dating Henry. Let's find out what shenanigans the Creek gang get into this episode, shall we?

The episode opens with Dawson teaching Joey how to drive. Like most things, Dawson fails at it and for the second time in a recap, I have to tell a male character that they are no Lloyd Dobler.

Joey agrees

Pacey asks Joey if she's going on a date with AJ for Valentine's but apparently he's too busy with mid-terms. Pacey gets offended by the notion that AJ would rather do school work than take Joey out for Valentine's but Joey claims that she's fine with it as AJ is dedicated to his studies. Dawson and Pacey then invite Joey to the party they are going to which is hosted by Matt Caulfield. I love how they say his name like we're supposed to give a shit who this is. He's never been mentioned before now but apparently he's a douche because Joey expresses disgust that they are choosing to go to a "Matt Caulfield Party." Of course, Joey hates most things so...not sure how much that says about it. She and Pacey bicker over whether or not Dawson should go, as if he's their child which makes me laugh. Joey ultimately decides not to join them.

At school, Pacey and Dawson are looking over at the supposedly infamous Matt Caulfield who, urban legend has it, slept with six cheerleaders in one weekend.

Uh oh, he likes sex so he must be evil!

Dawson waffles a bit about whether he wants to go to the party after all but Pacey convinces him to take a chance and just go. Jack comes up to them and says that he didn't get the location to the party as it is completely confidential (how are people supposed to go then?) but he did get the password. Are you ready for what it is?

Because the Matrix was a big thing back then and therefore,
it must be referenced!

So, remember how last episode, Jen told Henry that she didn't want him to do anymore grand gestures? How she didn't need him to try so hard? Well, that apparently went in one ear and out the other because Henry is begging a blood bank nurse to take his blood even though he's already given lots and shouldn't give again for another 72 hours. He whines about how he has a date with an angel and how he worked at her favourite restaurant for two weeks to buy her dinner there, reserved the best table, and now wants to sell his blood so that he can buy her a gift. Look, Henry, it's sweet that you want to do all of this for Jen, it really is and I want to like you for it but dude, chill out. She's just a girl and she also asked you to stop doing shit like this because it makes her uncomfortable. Do yourself a favour and listen to her, for your own good and, you know, so you don't go into anemic shock. But if Henry actually listened to her, we wouldn't have a conflict for this episode and God knows this show needs more conflict.

More conflict, more! Get it all in there! As much as you possibly can!

Pacey, meanwhile, is talking to Doug about joining him for a ride along but Doug says that Pacey would be bored because all he is doing is casing the golf course in case there is a party being thrown there. Doug then asks if Pacey knows anything about a party and Pacey says he thought there would be a rager on Witch Island (SHOUT OUT TO WITCH ISLAND, THEY REMEMBERED IT EXISTED!). Then he walks away all pleased with himself but I'm not super clear on why. I mean, he thinks he's learned the location of the party but it's obvious that the cops are aware of it and are looking to shut it down. So, why does he want to go if the cops are just going to shut it down? Did he really think that Doug would take his word and only check out Witch Island and not the golf course that the citizen tip told him about? I guess so because Pacey walks away really pleased with himself for figuring out the location.

Andie informs Jack that her friend is coming to town to hang out with them. This friend is in fact, Jack's ex which makes him extremely upset and nervous about her arrival as his ex was a girl and he is now into boys. Andie tells him that it will be fine and all he has to do is tell her that he likes boys. Easy peasy, right?

Jen is getting ready for her date with Henry and is extremely nervous so Grams tries her best to calm her nerves. Jen, however, insists that she's not nervous at all, despite being obviously nervous. Hey, Jen, you're probably nervous because you know that you're going to end up being Henry's next victim.

Yes, I will continue beating this joke to death. He's creepy

Andie's friend, Kate, has arrived and is making small talk with Jack. She asks him if he has a special someone and Jack mentions that it's funny she should ask. Kate then bursts into tears and says that that is exactly what her ex said before he told her he was gay.


The gang meets up at the golf course and Andie introduces everyone to Kate. Kate then, extremely awkwardly tells everyone that she just broke up with her gay boyfriend and that she's super emotional because everyone just announces stuff like this. "Hey guys, I just want to let you know that I am extremely vulnerable right now, so please take advantage of me? Kay, thanks!" Guys really think girls talk like this, don't they? So, Pacey earns demerit points by telling Dawson to totally take advantage of this girl's emotional state and of course, this is where Joey shows up.

Pacey asks Joey what she's doing at the party that she intended to boycott (also, how the hell would she know where it is? They didn't think she was going so why would they have told her where to go?) and Joey tells him that she's there to make sure that Dawson doesn't go over to the dark side. Dawson pipes up and says that he can take care of himself. Sure you can, Dawson. Sure you can.

Jen opens her door to Henry who looks like he's about to keel over because of the lack of blood he has circulating his system. Jen doesn't know this but asks if he's alright to which he spouts some nonsense about being afraid to speak in case he wakes up to find that this is a dream. Jen assures him that this isn't a dream. and they head out. Henry presents her with a rose and tells her that he wants their night to be perfect. She pricks her finger and Henry freaks out.

Nah, not really but wouldn't that have been hilarious?

Jen says she's fine and insists it's just a flesh wound.

She said it, I couldn't not make this reference

The gang have paired off to drive around the golf course in search of the party, and of course Pacey and Joey are riding together, as it should be. Joey chastises Pacey for being obvious about pushing Dawson onto Kate. Pacey accuses her of being jealous but Joey claims she's just worried about Dawson. Pacey says he is too, which is why he's trying to get Dawson to let loose. Joey wants to know why having fun has to include going to parties and meeting new people. I don't know what to say to that.

Andie is paired with Jack and is trying to encourage him to tell Kate that he is gay. Jack doesn't want to because he doesn't want to give her a complex, since her last boyfriend was also gay. He says he doesn't want to hurt her all over again which is pretty reasonable but Andie scoffs at this and tells Jack to get over himself.

I don't know. I'm confused about this myself because she was
also freaking out about upsetting Kate not two seconds ago.

Kate is being a complete emotional wreck and basically the worst date ever as she goes on and on about her ex being gay and asks Dawson if he thinks she's beautiful. She also asks if there is anything wrong with her, since her ex called her an acquired taste. Girl, sounds like there was something seriously wrong with your ex. Who tells someone that? Then again, with the way she's acting right now...maybe the ex was right to say it? Because I have second hand embarrassment for how annoying she's being.

The gang meet up and they tell us that the party is straight ahead. So...why the need to split up? Oh, right. Conflict. They head over and the eponymous Matt Caulfield himself greets them. He asks why they are there if they didn't get an invite but before they can scamper off with their tails between their legs, he throws them a bone and asks if they know the password. Dawson obliges by quoting Keanu and looks just about as bland saying it.

Uncanny. Dawson could be the next Neo

They are allowed into the party on one condition, they must all have a shot. I love how the show presents this as the most dangerous, serious thing that Matt could ask them to do. It's one shot, people, and you're acting like your trapped in Jonestown and he's telling you to drink the Kool-aid. They act like this is serious shit but Andie and Joey both turn the shots down and Matt is cool with it and lets them stay so, I don't see the big deal here. Joey freaks when Matt offers the drink to Dawson because it's "not him" to drink. Pacey rightfully tells her to mind her business and let Dawson make his own decisions. Dawson gets mad as Pacey and Joey bicker over whether or not Dawson should drink and he decides to take the shot. Good for you, Dawson. Even though the show would have you believe that this is serious business and that Dawson is now evil or less innocent or something bad.

You had ONE shot? How could you!?

Jen and Henry are at the restaurant and Jen nervously tries to make small talk while Henry pretends that he isn't about to faint due to lack of blood. Jen notices that Henry is out of it and asks if she's boring him but he claims he's just resting his eyes. Jen jokes that Henry should just feel free to rest his head on the table and go to sleep. Cue Henry passing out.

Joey is complaining about Pacey to Andie who just laughs her off and tells her that she sounds like she did before she started dating Pacey. Joey looks incredulous to the idea but we all know what's coming and we all know she's gonna love it. Just as I predicted, Doug is doing his patrol of the golf course and pulls them over.

Dawson nervously talks to Kate who proceeds to be even more annoying than she was before by repeating everything he says and then pointing out how annoying it is that she's doing it. Yes, Kate, you are annoying and you are making me very happy that you are just a one off character. Anyway, Dawson asks her to go for a walk with her and she agrees.

Yes, yes it is, Kate

As Henry is being wheeled to an ambulance he gives Jen the present he wanted to get her which is a Hungarian Red ring. Jen tries it on but it doesn't fit and Henry starts spazzing out about how he's ruined everything. It was all supposed to be perfect, dammit!

Blah! I'll donate your blood next time!

Dawson is trying to get with Kate because...hormones and she's pretty but certainly not for her personality. She continues to annoy the pants off me. He whines about the fact that she thinks he's a nice guy and she tells him that if he doesn't want to be a nice guy he should just stop talking about kissing her and just do it. Ugh. Just ugh with these two. Dawson gets all excited at the prospect that it is this easy and they go to kiss. Kate then pauses, politely tells him to hold the impulse, walks a little ways away, delicately bends over, and upchucks all over the ground. I've got to say, her body is very polite to her to give her so much warning. If I had been in her shoes, puke would have just shot out of my mouth and into Dawson's face...probably because Dawson was about to kiss me and not because I was drunk.

Sorry, Dawson. No girls want you

Jen complains to her Grams about how awful her date was but Grams just brushes off her concerns by saying that they'll have something to laugh about on their second date. I don't know, some dates can be so disastrous that you don't want a second date. I mean, how many times does Jen have to tell Henry not to try so hard before he'll get the point? I'd be a bit put off by his crazed ranting about how everything had to be perfect too because that's a lot of pressure to put on someone. Put yourself in Jen's shoes, would you enjoy a guy obsessing over how perfect everything had to be because you're just so perfect? Maybe the first time, maybe the second time, but then you start to feel like you have to make sure you keep being perfect for that person because they have put you up on this pedestal that is impossible for a regular person to live up to. I don't know, that doesn't sound fun to me. Grams suggests that maybe Henry did everything he did because he thought that's what she wanted him to be and Jen gets all ponderous. I call bullshit because she told him just last episode that he didn't have to try so hard and to stop doing grand gestures. Hang on, I'll even post the quote here. From Episode 313 - Northern Lights:
Jen: It's just that you've got to stop it with these grand gestures, these larger-than-life public declarations. I- You're like the Christo of teenage crushes.

Henry: Who's Christo?

Jen: He's kinda like a sculptor, he does these really large-- nevermind. It's just that you don't have to try so hard.
I've underlined the relevant text to point out the utter bullcrap the writers are trying to throw my way in regards to Henry and Jen's relationship. They keep trying to make out like Jen expects so much from Henry and poor innocent Henry just has to try so hard to get her attention but it's not her fault that he does these things. She has never asked him to, she has always plainly told him that she's not in to his over bearing crush on her and the fact that everyone is trying to make out like Jen isn't being clear with Henry or giving him enough of a chance is really grating on my nerves.

Meanwhile, Deputy Doug breaks up the rest of the party and finds Pacey hanging upside down, waiting for beer to be poured down his throat...or having just done it more probably as he doesn't clue in to the fact that everyone up and ran off and asks if he "did it wrong"

Through sheer contrivance, the only people Doug has managed to catch are the Creek gang. I'm not even sure how he caught Dawson and Kate who had walked away from the party but whatever, they are all here. Kate continues to annoy me by crowing on about how much fun this is and how totally not over her ex she is. Seriously guys, she's like so over him, for reals. Jack thinks that this is now the best opportunity to tell her his sexual orientation and she takes it...better than I thought she would. She comments that he was good at sex which he rightfully points out has no bearing on his sexual orientation and then she rounds on Dawson and asks if he's gay which is pretty hilarious.

Why do people keep asking me that? Is it because I have that framed
picture of Steven Spielberg next to my bed?

Kate asks if he's sure and then blurts out that apparently only gay guys will kiss her, even though she and Dawson didn't kiss because she was busy up chucking but really, she only said this so that Joey could then pick a fight with Dawson. Joey is incredulous that he kissed Kate, which makes Kate acknowledge that they didn't actually kiss because she vomited. Joey doesn't care and asks Dawson what the hell he was thinking. You know, if I were Kate, I'd probably despise Joey right about now. Like seriously, you be the girl that a guy tried to kiss and then listen to another chick question the guy's judgement because of it. Not cool. As annoying as Kate was, I still kind of felt bad for her in that moment.

Joey and Dawson argue until Pacey calls them out for being annoying (preach), then Joey and Pacey argue and Joey gets upset over how mean Pacey is being. The argument between Pacey and Joey is so much better because there feels like there is actual weight there. Joey actually looks hurt at the things Pacey says and while Pacey is frustrated, he also feels bad about hurting her but then can't seem to stop. He then says this:
Pacey: You didn’t do anything to deserve this. The drunken lout in the corner just pleads sheer frustration. I mean, honestly, do you have any idea how exhausting it is to exist on your periphery? To witness this perpetual dance that you two have – one week you’re soul mates, the next week you’re giving each other up for the greater good. I mean, do you think it’s possible that sometime soon you could make up your mind? Please? And the reverence that you two treat this little saga of yours with, is enough to make a guy wanna puke.

Have I mentioned how much I love Pacey? Because I do. He basically just vocalized how I feel about every couple on tv that goes on and on about how they're soul mates  while also having to break up constantly because reasons but they are still totally in lurve! Make up your damn minds! Anyway, Pacey of course pukes after saying puke because comedy or something.

I feel even worse for Pacey when Doug comes to let everyone out, except for him. Apparently, their father wants Pacey to stay in a cell all night as a punishment. Really? Mr. Witter was apparently very bitter that he lost that Worst Parent in Capeside award to Mr. McPhee. I could kind of see a parent making this decision if their child was constantly getting in trouble but from everything I've seen, Pacey is a pretty good kid. You don't let your kid languish in a jail cell all night for going to a stupid party.Or maybe I'm just naïve, I don't know, it just feels wrong.

I want to give him all the hugs!

Jen goes to the hospital and apologizes to Henry for not telling him that she was more nervous about the date than she let on which is just stupid because she shouldn't have to apologize. She tells him that she was nervous because back in New York, Valentine's was the day that the guys she was with would take out the girl they really liked and Henry interrupts that he doesn't believe that for a second which is just insulting. Dude, she's telling you something extremely painful, something that obviously hurt her, shut up and listen and stop making her out to be this perfect thing. She's a person, a person with experiences, who makes mistakes, and who has been hurt, way worse than you ever have so just shut up and stop trying to make her perfect because she's not. No one is. Accept her for who she is and then she can maybe start accepting you for who you are. End of. Although, she does say she wants to keep the ring he gave her so...I guess she likes some grand gestures.

Jack asks Kate if she's ok and she actually manages not to annoy me in this scene. She says that she's kind of cool with him being gay because it lets her off the hook because their relationship ending was not her fault and nothing either of them can change. And before you think she meant that it was Jack's fault for being gay, she quickly tells him that he isn't to blame either. He says he knows and she asks if he does know because he seemed ashamed to tell her he was gay. Jack admits that he didn't want to hurt her because when they were dating, something had always felt a bit off and that his feelings were wrong. He felt that he would be disappointing her by telling her that. Kate has this to say:

Kate: In a million years, you could never disappoint me, Jack. Gay or straight, you’re a world-class human being. That’s why I wanted to see you – you take me back to this nice, safe place, where crushes never end and hearts can’t be broken. And I needed that this weekend.
Thank you for leaving this show on a positive note, Kate because you've annoyed me from the first moment you called Jack, "Jackers." They hug and it's nice.

This next scene is between Dawson and Mitch and I have pretty much zero interest in it. Basically, Mitch is pissed because Dawson has been acting like a tool this season, wrecking his boat, throwing huge parties with strippers at their house, ending up in the police drunk tank, etc.. Dawson tries the idiotic excuse of "I'm young, I'm supposed to screw up." which is true, in a sense, but has gotten to the point of being an excuse to be the biggest assholes you can be just because you are young. That is wrong and I'm tired of people using age as an excuse to be a shitty human being. Being young and making mistakes is fine, when they're your mistakes and don't endanger anyone else. You can't do whatever the fuck you want, when you know the consequences (and don't tell me that kids, even those as young as 10, don't understand what is right and what is wrong), and then get out of trouble just because you are young. That is bullshit. Mitch agrees and tells Dawson that if he wants to start acting like a kid, then he will start acting like a parent. He punishes Dawson by requiring him to help out at the restaurant Gail bought every day after school and on weekends until he starts learning responsibility.

Sucks to be you

Back at the jail, Doug surprises me by clueing into the fact that Pacey is acting out because he's bothered by something and asks Pacey if he wants to talk about it. Pacey says he doesn't but then starts talking because he clearly needs someone to talk to and he can't talk to Dawson. The show means that it's because he has a crush on Dawson's ex but in my head cannon, it's because Pacey has finally realized that Dawson is a shitty friend, who is usually incapable of listening to anyone else's problems. Anyway, he tells Doug about the girl he likes, without saying it's Joey, and mentions that she gives him butterflies. Doug tells him to never lose the butterflies and says that's what sucks most about getting older.

To go off on a bit of a tangent, I don't think losing the butterflies is what sucks most about getting older, there's things like chores and bills and crap that rate worse for me, but I will admit that it does suck to lose that feeling. It's funny that the thought never crossed my mind until I saw this episode again and I realized that Doug is absolutely right. Somewhere along the line, you do lose that ability and it was just the best feeling when you looked at that right person and they made you so happy that you just got that fluttery feeling in your stomach. I was lucky enough to marry the last person that gave me those feelings and even though I am still attracted to him, I still love him, and he still makes me happy, I have not experienced the butterflies in a while. I think because with time, comes comfort and security and the butterflies come from a place of nervousness and the unknown. So, while I miss the feeling, it's not like good doesn't come from losing it so it definitely doesn't suck the most about getting older. But I digress...

Back to the prison. Doug asks Pacey what he's going to do about his crush and Pacey goes all doom and gloom about how it can never be. Doug tells Pacey that there aren't a lot of people in the world with the ability to give you butterflies (very true) and that Pacey should tell this person how they feels or he will regret it for the rest of his life. Pacey then thanks his brother for the advice.

It's super sweet and I didn't think the writers were capable of writing a
moment like this between the Witter brothers. It was a nice
break from all the tired gay jokes.

The next morning, Pacey goes straight to Joey's house to apologize to her about his behaviour. Joey admits that she was worried about him too. The look Pacey gets on his face when she admits this is the absolute cutest face. He then gets all ready to tell her that he likes her but backs out at the last second to tell her about what she's doing wrong with driving stick and I want to be angry at them prolonging this, I just can't because this is just the cutest thing ever. The way Joey just smiles at him and asks him if he wants to show her now, and then Pacey smiles and says "yes." Then they show them in her truck and he succeeds where Dawson failed to show her how to shift gears. Then she gets super excited about the fact that she succeeded and it's just all adorable and the ending to this episode has to be one of my favourites so far because they ended on this adorableness.


Congrats Pacey. You are the only male on this show to earn the
Lloyd Dobbler Seal of Approval.

So that was Valentine's Day Massacre and I have no clue why it was called that as no one was killed in this episode, though I half expected Henry too when he was spazzing about everything having to be perfect. I'm also getting really pumped because we are getting so close to Pacey and Joey happening that I just can't even contain myself.

Pictured, Blinvy

Stay tuned for the next episode, Crime and Punishment in which Joey paints a mural that gets vandalized and Pacey seeks vengeance on the person responsible because he's awesome. Dawson does something too but who cares, it's Dawson.

1 comment:

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