Thursday, 19 February 2015

Glee - 101 - Pilot

Original air date: May 19, 2009

So, watching this first episode takes me back. I know that's silly seeing as how it only aired 6 years ago but my god, the quality, the humour, the characters, everything is just great here and it just brings me back to the first time I watched it and how happy it made me feel. I watch a lot of different shows for a lot of different reasons but there are very few shows out there that just make me happy to watch them, where I'd get just pumped to see the next episode. Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Freaks and Geeks were that for me when I was a teen (Dawson's Creek was more of a guilty pleasure for me), then I had Pushing Daisies which was unfairly cancelled, and then I had Glee. It was not a genius show, it was not a thought-provoking show, it was just a show that made me happy and I don't think that's anything to sniff at. It takes a lot of work and a lot of heart to make something that makes others smile and just genuinely give them a good feeling. So let's cue up some Journey and take a look at the very first episode of Glee.

The very first episode actually starts out with the cheerleaders doing an extremely gruelling routine and then the glorious Sue Sylvester, in her prime snark days bellows at them:

I was hooked


With that utterance, I was reassured, much like with the first scene of Freaks and Geeks, that this would not be your typical teen show and I was instantly in love. The vibe of this show was very much adult when it first began, this was not a show geared towards younger crowds (though younger crowds would watch) and was actually pretty dark.

We then cut to our main character (which will definitely change over the course of the show) Will Schuester or Schue as he's usually referred to by the kids. He drives up happily in his beat up car and obliviously walks by some kids who are bullying a smaller kid. (Heh, look at me referring to adults playing teens as "kids") The two main kids doing the bullying are Finn and Puck while the kid being picked on is Kurt. Of course Schue asks Kurt if he's making new friends before happily telling Finn that he needs his Spanish homework and then rushing off to his classes, leaving poor Kurt behind to be dumped in the dumpster.

Kurt complains that his brand new Marc Jacobs' blazer will get ruined and so Finn takes pity on him enough that he lets Kurt take off his blazer and hand it to Finn before the rest of the jocks toss Kurt in the dumpster. How very...cruel/kind of you Finn.

At least he does look a bit upset that he's a tool


We see a lot of weird cuts that show off a day in the life of the McKinley High students and teachers, including Mr. Schue looking at a plaque of the old Glee Club coach, a cheerleader (Quinn) doing splits mid-air, Mr. Schue teaching his Spanish class to a bunch of bored students, including Finn, then to a random male cheerleader doing something cheerleader-y, and then to Sandy Ryerson (HOLY GOD I MISS THIS CRAZY ASS CHARACTER!!) teaching a song to a male student (Where is Love? from the musical Oliver!) and touching him rather inappropriately while our other main character, Rachel Berry watches, ticked off.

Words cannot express how much I love Rachel

We then cut to the teachers lounge where football coach Ken Tanaka complains to will about the principal getting rid of the coffee pot. Enter Sue, the Cheerios (the cheerleading team and I was not aware Cheerleaders got to have team names before this show...or after. Is that a thing?) coach with a tray of lattes for everyone. Sue is at her best here, a little snarky but not the cartoonish over the top villain that she soon becomes. Guidance counsellor Emma enters and asks what's up with the lattes. Sue explains that she felt bad about Principal Figgins getting rid of the teacher's coffee pot so that her Cheerios could have a nutritionist. I don't understand how an old coffee pot that the school already had pays for a nutrition coach but whatever, this show works in a beautiful, snarky, satirical world of its own. Emma snarks about Sue's Cheerios so Sue leaves but not before letting everyone know just how awesome she is and her response to Emma's snark is the best:

I miss old Sue


I love that line. Anyway, Emma informs everyone that Sandy Ryerson has been fired. Will immediately expresses concern over this fact...no I'm just messing with you, he's just worried about who will run the Glee club.

Will then immediately runs to Principal Figgins to declare that he'd like to take over Glee Club. Mr. Figgins informs Will that he has to pay $60 a month to run it because...reasons. I thought maybe it was for costumes and the like but Figgins tells Will that he has to use the costumes they already have so...I guess to rent the room? I don't really get how extracurriculars are run in US schools or maybe I just don't get how they work on this show.

So Will has agreed to pay $60 a month to coach Glee Club which just sounds weird. Isn't it just a volunteer thing? Whatever. Will explains to us via narration that he is going to have a hard time hiding the fact that he's pissing away $60 a month to coach Glee from his wife but that lack of communication in his marriage is less important than coming up with a new name for the club. He excitedly sits up in bed as he thinks of the thrilling new name that is supposed to inspire students and get them to want to join:

Nude Erections?


Actually it's New Directions and we cut to a montage of the different kids signing up. We have our resident sassy black character, Mercedes, who auditions with (what else?) Aretha Franklin's Respect. Next we see Kurt, the kid who got dumped into a dumpster at the beginning, sign up and he auditions with Mr. Cellophane from Chicago. Then Tina signs up and auditions with Katy Perry's I Kissed a Girl. Judging from her audition, I thought she'd be a pretty fun character.

I was wrong, she's not interesting at all. This is pretty much the
most interesting that she gets


Then we get to my absolute favourite character and while I mainly still watch the show for her, I forgot just how much fun she was at the beginning and why I rooted for her so much. She is a blast, completely full of herself, but driven and hilarious. Rachel signs her name on the sheet and auditions with, of course, On My Own from Les Miserables.

While she's singing, we get to hear her inner monologue and it's glorious. Her first lines are:


I love this character


And I fell in love. She's just so crazily ambitious and over the top that it works. She's not necessarily a good person but she's damn interesting and driven as hell. She wants the solo and dammit, she'll get it even if she has to get the current Glee coach fired to do it. Though she steadfastly denies those rumours. She totally only did it because Sandy was being inappropriate with the kid earlier, named Hank Saunders. She sobs as she recounts what she saw to Principal Figgins.

See? Totally honestly concerned for her fellow students


To be fair, it did look like Sandy was being inappropriate with Hank so I think that's why she can get away with being so conniving about this and still be likeable, at least to me. She further explains that she's not homophobic because she has two gay dads. They basically found a surrogate and then mixed their sperm together so that they wouldn't know who the actual dad was.

Can you guess?


This joke is funny but Arrested Development totally did it first:

I feel like Butters yelling "Simpsons did it! Simpsons did it!" but with AD


She then goes on to say that her Dads basically groomed her from a young age to be a star, it even shows young Rachel getting over enthusiastic in dance class. She goes on about how being famous is the most important thing in our culture right now, which is so true, and that to keep her talent alive and growing, she posts videos of herself singing on her...MySpace account. Really? Does anyone use that? I've only ever heard it being mentioned on TV but I've never actually heard someone in real life say that they have a MySpace account. So, wave hello to our sponsors kids. Don't worry MySpace, maybe if you get mentioned on TV a few more times, people will use you. No, they won't. Stop trying.

Anyway, Rachel is clearly passionate about singing and dedicated to getting herself out there. Of course, when you put yourself out there, you open yourself to mockery. This is illustrated by Quinn and her Cheerleading friends mocking Rachel online after she posts her video.

Rachel has a sad


Our tiny original glee club, consisting of Rachel, Artie, Tina, Kurt, and Mercedes, are rehearsing Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat and Rachel stops everyone to say how much they suck. Will silently agrees but vocally insists that they will get better if they rehearse more. Rachel criticizes the fact that Artie, a boy in a wheelchair, is singing lead in Sit Down You're Rocking the Boat and Artie explains that Mr. Schue was probably going for irony.

Did I mention how much I love this character?


As Sue degrades and mentally tortures her Cheerios, Mr. Schue tries to talk Rachel into sticking it out with Glee Club. Rachel says she's tired of being laughed at and wants to leave her mark on high school. She demands that Mr. Schue find her a suitable male lead that she can sing with or she'll quit Glee. Mr. Schue then gets called to the principal's office.

In Mr. Figgins' office, Will learns that the auditorium is going to be rented out to AA meetings so he has to cancel Glee Club. Will protests but.

I think I want to make a counter on this because my god, does this
line ever get overused in the early seasons. It's hilarious


Will argues that if his kids place at regionals, they can stay and if they don't, he'll give up the auditorium. Figgins' hands become untied, I guess, because he agrees to the terms but tells Will he has to work detention for free. I don't get American schools, do teachers get paid for every little thing they do for the school? In Canada, teachers are salaried so pretty much everything they do is already paid for and extracurriculars are on volunteer basis. Detention is always on your own time so if you feel like doling them out to your students, you stay with them. We never had a detention hall that was run at a specific time with a random teacher supervising. That's just weird to me.

Will breaks the news to his overbearing wife that he has to work late for the next few weeks so that Mr. Figgins won't kill Glee Club. Terri responds by whining because it's what she's good at. I kid, I actually kind of love her character. Yeah, she's awful but she at least has the courtesy to be funny and entertainingly awful. She's a character you're meant to hate which is where the comedy comes from so I have no problem with her at all. Also, can we take a moment to appreciate the awesomeness of Howard Bamboo?

He's amazing and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise


Will bumps into Sandy who tells him that he's essentially a drug dealer now and is super not pissed that he was let go because he's making hand over fist selling medicinal marijuana. He gives Will a sample packet of his own which will come into play later.

Will talks to Sue, Ken, and Emma about how to get more kids to sign up. Sue tells him he's out of luck because Glee kids are the lowest on the high school popularity rung, Emma tells him that Sue's right but that nothing is set in stone and kids will follow whoever is popular in whatever they do, Ken agrees to let Will talk to the football team about joining up if he puts in a good word for him with Emma.

Will appeals to the football team to sign up. Puck says he can sing but instead of singing, he lets a fart rip. Will looks defeated, especially when he check on his sign up list later and finds that it is full of joke names like "Butt Munch" and "Penis". He thinks that Glee Club is over, until he hears a guy singing horribly wonderfully in the showers. I kid, I kid, Finn isn't the worst singer ever, just comparatively with so many strong voices in the cast, he's the weakest link and I question why they went with him as the "star male lead".

Will evilly and ingeniously, uses the weed that Sandy gave him to black mail Finn into joining Glee. It is horrible and manipulative and hilarious because you know this is a world that is not to be taken seriously. Finn readily agrees to join so that the drug bust doesn't appear on his record and you do feel a little bad for him because of how adamant (and truthful) he is being about the pot not being his.

Finn explains in his flashback/voice over, that his father died when he was young and that he's close with his mother. He heard music for the first time (figuratively not literally) when he was helping some lawn guy paint their grass green and they sang Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' by Journey. When the lawn guy left his mother for another girl, Finn vowed to make his mother proud of him so that she'd feel her sacrifices were worth it. Not sure what that implies, possibly that lawn guy didn't want the baggage of a child? Whatever. We cut back to the office with Will explaining that he'll let him off the hook with the pot thing and keep it off his record, if he joins glee. Cut to:

Rachel's face through this thing is priceless

Mercedes interrupts to shout about not being a back up but then backs down when everyone says that they sounded better. Mercedes accepts her place as Kelly Rowlands and consents to run it again as a backup singer. She gave up that fight fast.

Will tells Terri that he wants to take his Glee Club on a field trip to see their competition perform. Terri says she can't because she had to pick up an extra shift at Sheets N' Things because they are living paycheque to paycheque. Will throws down that a lot of that paycheque seems to be going to her Pottery Barn credit card. She pressures him to get a job at an accounting firm as it pays more but Will is adamant that his passion is for teaching. Terri snaps back that his interest in the kids hinges on his wanting to relive his glory days but that they are not in high school anymore and it is time for them to grow up. As spoiled as she is being, she's not entirely wrong here. Will is chiding her for spending extra money, when he is doing the same thing and to keep a Glee Club running that doesn't interest her at all. That's not fair of him to ask her to live a shitty life so that he can run a Glee Club. However, it's also not fair of her to run up charges on a credit card buying useless junk while also only working part-part time at a linen store. In short, they are both awful in this relationship and they should not be together.

Meanwhile, Will posts a sign up sheet for an extra chaperone for his glee related field trip. Naturally, Emma eagerly signs up. Much to Ken Tanaka's displeasure.

Finn tells Ken about the field trip he's taking with Glee Club and Ken spazzes out. Puck tries to ask Finn what's going on but Finn lies about having to miss practice because his mother's prostate is engorged.

Ken yells at Will about stealing his quarterback. Will says that Ken hates football and asks what he's really angry about. We flash to Ken being super creepy and making a case for why women have to lie about the fact that they have a boyfriend as he keeps pressuring Emma to go out with him. She tries to politely decline his offer but when he persists, she tells him she's not interested because she likes someone else. He responds the way you'd think an asshole who can't take a simple no for an answer would:

Douche!


Ken doesn't tell Will about this but gloats that the herd will take care of this issue, basically saying that the other football players will pressure Finn into quitting.

Rachel nervously gushes to Finn about his supposed talent and the fact that everyone, read her, expects them to become an item. Finn quickly says that he has a girlfriend, Quinn Fabray. Rachel sad faces about the fact that he's dating a cheerleader and the captain of the celibacy club.

Remember when she was super religious?


Will and Emma split a sandwich while they wait for the show to start and Emma gets the inside scoop on Will's marital problems. Will confesses that he loves Terri and he used to like that he rode her hard (not a euphemism) but that lately he's been wondering what she wants him to be better at and that he feels like she only cares about money and that they are not on the same page. The lights dim before he can say anything else and the Carmel Glee Club, Vocal Adrenaline starts to perform. They sing  Rehab by Amy Whinehouse and are amazing.

Everyone sad pandas


Outside, Puck and the rest of the football team are waiting for Finn and paintball him for skipping practice to go to a singing concert. Puck now knows that women don't have prostates because he looked it up and then orders the team to open fire at Finn.

Terri tells Will that she's pregnant which makes him insanely happy but also makes him decide to quit teaching and get a job at the accounting firm she told him about. He breaks the news to the Glee Club and assures them that he will find them another teacher to coach them. As he packs up his things, he sings Leaving on a Jet Plane by John Denver.

Emma overhears that Will is leaving and that it's because his wife is pregnant. Now, this part has always irked me, she then tells Will to meet her in the career centre for guidance for her. Then she proceeds to talk him out of leaving his teaching job to work in accounting. Now, you can interpret this as her wanting him to do what makes him happy, which I did during my first watch but when I see this scene now, it just feels icky. His wife is pregnant and he's trying to earn more money to provide for his family, which means leaving the job where he works with Emma, and Emma convinces him to stay because she has a crush on him. That's kind of selfish and unhealthy of her to do.

Rachel tries to convince Finn to stay in Gee because he has "talent" but he won't because since Will is leaving, why the fuck would he stay? She tries to tell him he's better than that but Finn refuses to join back up. At football practice, Puck refuses to apologize for what he did to Finn but says that he is glad he's back and not doing Glee anymore. To welcome him back, he's trapped Artie in a port-o-potty and offers Finn the chance to be the one to tip it over. Since Finn is not a completely worthless person, he refuses and instead lets Artie out. Puck asks Finn if this means he's quitting football to join "Homo Explosion" but Finn says that he's going to do both because the football team can't win without him and neither can Glee. Pretty bold statement from someone who is kind of a subpar singer.

Finn walks into Glee rehearsals and pretty much takes over but the kids seem to be happy about it. He asks them all to do their part to get the club going, Artie is to acquire instruments and band members to play, Mercedes is to get super cool costumes for everyone, Rachel is to do choreography, Tina is to be useless (as is usual in this show), Kurt is forgotten about (for now), and Finn has the song.

Emma shows Will a video of the 1996 show choir Nationals competition to convince him to stay. Again, I'm iffy on this one but her message is nice. That he has to decide what he wants to show his child, that money is most important or that the only life worth living is one that you're passionate about. I get this message, I really do but let me tell you, when you're an adult and paying bills, you quickly realize just how important money can be.

Cut to the glee club, Nude Erections, singing their most iconic number:

I've got to admit, even though I hate Journey, I couldn't help 
but smile during this performance

Will sees them perform and is completely convinced to stay. He starts giving them directions and they ask if this means he's staying. He tells them that it would kill him to see them win nationals without him and tells them to take it from the top. End episode.

That was the very first episode of Glee and my god, the feels! So many great characters that are no longer around, so many of the cast that has not been ruined for me. So much fun music that doesn't feel like it's halting the plot to show me a music video. So much plot. This literally took me forever to recap because of how much was going on, I couldn't believe how much information they stuffed into one pilot episode and so effortlessly. It saddens me what the show has become but that is for later recaps.

This show is at its best being a satiric black comedy about high school life and it is definitely at its best here. The writing is snappy, funny, and engaging. Even though the characters are shitty people, they are so entertaining and engaging that you just don't care. I look forward to recapping the rest of this first season because, despite its flaws, it is an extremely fun and enjoyable show. I still can't watch the earlier episodes without getting a big grin on my face.

Stay tuned for the next Glee recap, Showmance which includes the best performance of all time.

Of all time!

Saturday, 14 February 2015

Top Ten Best Teen Couples

Now that we have the negatives out of the way, I thought it would be nice to focus on the positives in teen romance on Valentine's Day. Again, these are my ten favourite teen couples so they probably won't coincide with your own favourites but feel free to share your own in the comments or elsewhere. I think it's fun to find out what couples worked for some people and what couples didn't. If you've been reading this blog for a while, I'm sure you'll be able to guess at least a couple of the couples on my list but you might be surprised by their placement. I'll explain, of course, and I hope you enjoy.

Anyway, on this sacred holiday of love, invented by the Hallmark Corporation to sell more cards, it's about time we dive right in to my Top Ten Best Teen Couples:

10) Torrance and Cliff - Bring It On
Aren't they cute?

I did not expect to like this movie as much as I did, even when I was a teen seeing it for the first time but it was so much goofy fun that I just fell in love. This is one of those silly movies that I can watch over and over again and still enjoy just because it makes me happy and part of that is the dynamic between Torrance and Cliff. Sure, he's kind of an added love interest amidst the real meat of the cheer competitions and super serious cheer fights but there was still a lot to like about them as a couple...or I guess as a potential couple.

I like the fact that he's not intimidated by her smarts, for starters. Yeah, I know, it was supposed to be playful banter between them and Torrance isn't really interested in taking advanced chemistry but the fact that he isn't intimidated by her trying to achieve more is nice. Usually guys are portrayed as being super threatened by smart girls and it's just dumb. So that was point one to Cliff but I also love how he recognized when Torrance was feeling down or stressed he didn't fix her problems for her (unlike Aaron, may he rest in peace) he talked her through them and gave her the motivation to work through her problems on her own. It was nice to see that kind of thing between a teen couple where so many teen romances have the guy need to rush in and rescue the girl because she can't possibly handle things on her own (I'm looking at you, She's All That). These two made perfect sense to me and they were fun to watch together, even their weird toothbrushing/spitting flirting ritual was weirdly cute.

Just me? Come on...it was weirdly cute...right?


9) Kat and Patrick - 10 Things I Hate About You
RIP Heath Ledger

This was hands down, one of my favourite teen rom coms of the time. This is another one that I can watch over and over and I've got to give it props that it managed to make a very, very, misogynistic play by Shakespeare (The Taming of the Shrew) and managing to improve it with modernization. Unlike She's All That, this story actually makes you believe that Kat and Patrick would fall for each other and you understand why she would forgive him for beginning to date her under false pretenses. This is because, at the beginning of the movie, neither one of them really knows the other that well and Patrick's background and demeanor at the beginning makes it believable that he would go along with the plan, even if he questions the morality of it. Actually, if you ask me, Cameron comes off pretty bad in this. Paying someone to take out a girl's sister just so he can attempt to date the girl is pretty shitty and he never really apologizes for it.

But, I digress. Kat and Patrick's relationship always felt like it was moving forward, from acquaintances who despise each other, to sort of friends, to romantic partners and it feels natural all the way through. You get why they fall in love, because they are both harsh personalities that are somewhat misunderstood, and they both have a wild side to them. Also, who doesn't love a guy that will sing to you in front of a bunch of people, even if it embarrasses him and gets him detention?

Magical

Also, this scene is just cute and made me want to try paintball with how much fun they made it look:

They lie. Paintballs hurt like a motherfucker and I will never try it again

8) Lindsay and Nick - Freaks and Geeks
They definitely had their moments

I love this show! If Dawson's Creek was my guilty pleasure, and Buffy was my fantasy and hero, then Freaks and Geeks was the show that really actually got what being a teenager was about. It was the show I identified with and could really see myself in. If you haven't seen it then please, go watch it now it's on Netflix, go!

I may be cheating a little bit with this one. Nick and Lindsay are an extremely awkward couple and it was mostly played for laughs but I always thought there were some genuinely sweet moments between these two. You can tell Nick is way more into Lindsay right from the beginning which leads to some hilariously uncomfortable moments for her but lead to much entertainment for me.

Even still, I enjoyed them because I thought Nick, at least at the beginning, was incredibly sweet to her. He recognized that she was feeling down and tried his best to cheer her up or motivate her to find something that would make her happy, like he had with his drums. When Nick was feeling shit about himself, Lindsay stood by him and encouraged him to pursue his dreams of becoming a drummer, even going so far as to set him up an audition with a local band. It backfired horribly but it was sweet all the same and was the catalyst to them getting together. Now, Lindsay was not that into Nick which is the reason they are not higher on this list but she still tried with him and was genuinely upset when they broke up, even if it's what she wanted since he was very clingy.

The reason they're not lower on this list compared to the other couples I've already talked about? This. This right here:


I die laughing every time I watch this but it is 
freaking adorable of him to do

Sure, they may not be the most solid or compatible couple and Nick made Lindsay extremely uncomfortable most of the time but dammit, they were fucking hilarious to watch together.

Unpopular opinion time! You thought that was only reserved for the Worst list? Pffft! I can be just as unpopular with positive opinions too. Without further ado:

7) Seth and Anna - The OC
I will fight you Summer fans on this

Yep, you read that right. Seth and Anna. Hear me out. This show was another guilty pleasure of mine and I ate up the first season like my favourite ice cream until it went to absolute weird crap as a lot of too popular for their own good FOX shows do. I would giddily watch every week as new drama unfolded but the one thing I didn't eat up? Seth and Summer. I did not think those two made sense together. He worshipped her, she hated him and thought he was gross. Then suddenly, Anna enters the picture, this cool chick who gave great advice and actually had things in common with Seth, and suddenly Summer gets jealous and wants him? Uh-uh, not cool. Super lame.

I loathed Summer getting in between Seth and Anna because they were adorable together. They had great banter with each other and she genuinely liked him where Summer hated that she liked him but was hot so everyone wanted Seth to get with her. I never understood why people wanted that so much, I guess the "I hate/love you" thing is more popular than I thought but I just didn't feel it was there. I rooted for the girl that didn't have a hundred guys falling for her (it's implied Summer is extremely desirable), the girl who just wanted to be liked by the guy she liked, the girl who felt like a dork. She was sweet and her and Seth together were extremely sweet. I remember the backlash when they got together and being extremely confused by it. People claimed that Seth and Anna together were gross because they were more like brother and sister. I don't know what kind of warped relationships people are having with their siblings but Seth and Anna did not at all read like siblings to me. If you go by looks, Seth and Summer looked more like they were related to me. Whatever.

The reason these two are not higher, well, I have my top three firmly in place for one, but also? Seth turned into a massive dickhole when he dumped Anna for Summer but then acted like he could still have them both. I became very anti-Seth come the end of the first season and well, pretty much the rest of the series too.

And still, when he took her for granted, she offered him advice and
encouragement, even if it hurt her to do so. #teamannaforever


Side Note: Does anyone else find it annoying when shows bring up or echo comments made by fans? I've really ever only found this in FOX shows, The OC and Glee being the worst offenders that I've noticed. Like in The OC where Summer makes a comment about Seth and Anna being like brother and sister, I groaned because that's what the fans who wanted Seth and Summer together were saying and it didn't mesh with the show at all. It feels like it's just pandering to popular opinions and pulls me right out of the story. Writers/Producers, stop doing this. Just tell the story you want to tell and let people discuss it however they want. Don't change things up just because a few vocal people are crying for it.

6) Sean and Tamira - Breaker High
Baby Ryan Gosling! How could I not?

Shut up, yes I watched this show! It was awesome. Ok, maybe it wasn't awesome but I enjoyed it and the relationship I enjoyed the most on the show was Sean and Tamira's. Yeah, my crush on Ryan Gosling was not born out of The Notebook (which I'm fully aware is shit but it's a guilty pleasure of mine, that probably only is because of Ryan Gosling being in it), it was born when I was just a teen and watching him on this show.

What I loved about them was just how compatible they were. They were both slightly goofy and dorky and incredibly sweet. What's more is the fact that they do anything for each other. I recall an episode where Tamira didn't have enough money to stay on the boat and so Sean, who had just made a lot of money on one of his schemes, gave it all to her just so she could stay.

Picnic on a boat motherfuckers!


The episode I remember most is the one where they first got together because it was set in Canada which is where I'm from and they flipped around the usual American jokes about Canada. This was probably because while the show pretended it was about American characters, the show was filmed in Canada and had mostly Canadian actors but I still loved it. Anyway, the episode in question has Sean wanting to fulfill a bucket list he'd created and was determined to finish it all off before...I think it was his birthday? Anyway, one of the items was to kiss a girl and the whole episode, he's kind of flirting with this other girl but you can tell he's more in to Tamira and she likes him. Tamira is all hurt because she thinks he's kissed the French Canadian girl he was flirting with before but he reveals that he didn't because the person he really wanted to kiss was her. And then teen me swooned forever and pledged my undying love to Ryan Gosling. Not even joking, it was that scene that fully got me.


Not gonna lie, I still squee like a little girl when I watch this scene.

While the show is cheesy as hell, this couple will always have a place in my heart because, if I'm being completely honest, I identified the most with Tamira because I was never the girl that guys fell all over so I was ecstatic that she got a guy and he genuinely wanted her.

And now, my top five teen couples:

5) Lloyd and Diane - Say Anything
To know Lloyd Dobler is to love him and boy,
do I know Lloyd

Of course these two were going to be on my list. They are awesome, more specifically Lloyd is but that's because I'm a girl and I was more focused on my crush on him. Diane has her good points too. What I liked about Say Anything was that it felt insanely real, like you were watching the natural progression of a real relationship. Lloyd has a huge crush on Diane and is really sweet about asking her out, remember when you had to call someone's house and risk having to talk to their parents first to ask them out? Yeah, that sucked and this movie captured that young nervous energy perfectly. But enough about the movie, the couple is what we're here for.

Lloyd has become extremely popular lately as the ideal romanticized guy and with good reason. He's charming and likable, he considers the girl's feelings, and when he's asked to stay away, much as it hurts him, he does. He's very into Diane and is drawn to her but the important thing to note is that he also respects the hell out of her. He knows she's smart and has way more ambition than he does and he never tries to discourage her from that, he's always 100% supportive and wants her to go and follow her dreams. While he does watch over her, he never tries to control her, he simply lets her go off and mingle at the party to her heart's content but just makes sure that he knows she's ok and makes sure that there is no one hassling her. Ladies, that's called respectful protection and we need to start placing more importance on that and less on the "I must control your every move and prevent you from going anywhere without me...also no other guys can even talk to you" protection. *cough*fuckChristianGrey*cough*

Then there is Diane. She is smart and ambitious but is also a little sad that she may have missed out on experiencing the social aspect of high school, since she was so focused on her studies. Enter Lloyd, who she's not sure about but is intrigued by. She's a bit closeted but is very caring and sweet. The thing that I liked most about her? How open she was about sex. It would have been so easy for this movie to go the route of Lloyd pushing her for sex because he really wanted her but this movie surprised me by making him wait and not pressure her but then she "jumped him anyway."

This scene, short as it was, was hot


She wanted him, she wanted sex and she chose it. It's very rare that you see a movie where a girl takes an active role in her sexuality and I think that is the reason this movie has always stuck with me and why I love this couple. He respected her, she respected him and the sex came naturally. I love that and I love these two.

Side note: Fifty Shades of Grey is being released today or has been released. Don't go see that, it does everything wrong in a romance. If you want to see a true romance unfold, if you want to see a guy genuinely love and respect a girl, if you want to see a girl who actually is smart and ambitious, stay home and watch Say Anything. You won't be disappointed.

4) Willow and Oz/Tara - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pretty much my thoughts exactly, minus the
personal sexual orientation thing.

This might be cheating but I don't care, I'm doing it anyway. I loved both couples. Willow's relationships (early on) were the best done relationships on the show. I love her with Oz because he was the first one to like her for who she was. On top of that, he was just damn smart about relationships. When Willow was trying to kiss him because she was mad that Xander and Cordelia were dating, he stopped her and told her that he wanted to kiss her more than anything but he wanted to kiss her when she wanted to kiss him, not to make someone else jealous. I loved that, it was honest, it was open and I think it's what really won Willow over with him. It won me over too, though I did like him before. Did I mention that I'm a sucker for slightly dorky girls finally being noticed by a guy who is really into her? I think that's becoming obvious with my pattern of couples so far but I don't care. I love how close they were and I love how much they cared about each other. I love that Willow also got a chance to show how much she loved him too when she found out he was a werewolf and stood by him. That is commitment.

Aren't they cute?


Alas, they didn't last, more because Seth Green wanted to leave the show but also because of nasty, gross Veruca (not that she made him cheat, Oz was an asshole for that). But from their break up came a new and very different relationship for Willow and that was with Tara. I will fully admit that teen me was not on board with the rumour that Joss wanted to make Willow gay. It confused me, it didn't seem true to her character, etc, etc, etc. But wow did this relationship win me over. From season 4 to 5 I just adored this couple. They clicked more than Oz and Willow did sometimes and the way they grew together was just fun to watch. Willow became more comfortable with herself and more skilled with her magic, Tara became less shy and stutter-y. They both benefitted from this relationship and they both would do anything for each other. Tara defends Willow's abilities and Willow will hurt anyone that tries to hurt Tara. It was sweet and it was genuine and we shall all agree to forget that season 6 happened. Yes?

Season 6 what?


3) Gib and Alison - The Sure Thing
What? Young John Cusack is adorable

Yep, another John Cusack movie and I'm not even sorry. I adore this movie and it's not that it's anything mind-bending or original but it has heart and a realness to it that I love. I don't think this was the original road trip to love movie but it was definitely one of the best ones and it's because the couple are a lot of fun to watch.

Gib is a bit of a slacker but he's not stupid, I mean he is in college...flunking English supposedly but he did get in and at least wanted to try to do well in school. While he might do stupid things, he's really a genuinely nice guy (not a Nice Guy) but a guy who would hold the door open for you because he wants to, a guy that would take the time to show you how to shotgun a beer, and a guy that would act like a complete lunatic to save you from a rapist. Alison is a bit up tight, studious, and practical but she's not unkind and the best thing about this movie is watching her loosen up when she's with Gib. Sure, they bicker but they also get along and even when Alison has the chance to get on a bus to get to California quickly, she opts instead to stay with and help Gib get there since he didn't have the money.

Not to mention, they have great chemistry together both when they're bickering and when they are getting along which is hard to pull off successfully. Basically, I just like everything about this couple and I never get tired of watching them go from acquaintances to enemies to friends and finally to lovers. It is funny, it is genuine, and it is romantic.

Lloyd is great but Gib just seems so much more fun and relaxed


This is another one to watch instead of that other horrid thing in theatres right now. Actually, this entire list could be retitled Better Things to Watch on Valentine's Day than Fifty Shades of Shit.

2) Pacey and Joey - Dawson's Creek
Joey made the right choice with Pacey

Are any of you surprised that they are on my list? Of course they are. I debated putting Pacey and Andie on my list also but while I did like them I was ultimately a Pacey and Joey shipper from the first season on. They said it would never happen, they were wrong!

So, why do I like Pacey and Joey so much when I hated Joey and Dawson. Well, for starters, Pacey is an awesome and interesting character while Dawson is an asshat of epic proportions. Also, Joey is rather unlikable for the most part, except for when she's with Pacey. I like the idea that you become a better person with the person you are meant to be with and whether the writers intended to or not (probably not because let's face it, the DC writers were not very good) they really showed that well with these two.

I think I explained my reasoning for starting my ship of them in my recap of the episode Double Date. Pacey seemed to genuinely like Joey and thought she was pretty because my god, she totally was! Dawson meanwhile, kept her firmly in the friendzone (thinking it was incest to date her because they were like brother and sister and that was the character saying that genuinely not the fans saying it) and didn't notice her at all until she put make up and a dress on. We all know how much I dislike that trope, (again, looking at you, She's All That).

Seriously, these two are just perfect


Not only that, they both just seemed to need each other and seek comfort in each other. Most importantly, they understood each other and where they were coming from. It's kind of funny to me that while the show threw around the words "soul mate" about Dawson and Joey, the ones I found to be shown to be soul mates were really Joey and Pacey (and Jen and Jack but I digress). Think about it, they both come from poorer backgrounds, they both had hard lives and were the subject of town gossip, so they understand what the other is going through on a very empathetic level. Where Andie wanted Pacey to change, Joey seems more content with Pacey the way he is. While Dawson was, I don't want to say outright not supportive but we'll say clueless about Joey's art, Pacey was encouraging and pushing her to do it because it made her happy.

On top of this, they have just an insane amount of chemistry together and numerous adorable moments together. The writers made the best decision putting these two together because theirs was the true best love story in the show. Period. End of sentence.

Now, who the hell is my number 1 if it isn't Joey and Pacey? Well, let's find out, shall we?

1) Jane and Adam - Joan of Arcadia
I adore this couple and I will adore them forever

I was shocked at how much I liked this show. I avoided it like the plague before because I thought it was going to be another 7th Heaven type of super religious family crap show. It is close but done so much better and smarter. The show follows the Girardi clan as they move to Arcadia where the father, Will, has become the new police chief, the oldest son, Kevin, has been left paraplegic after a car accident, Joan worries that she's crazy, the youngest son, Luke, feels ignored, and the mother, Helen questions her faith after having almost lost her son in a car accident. Now the interesting thing is that the family is not religious, in fact, Will Girardi is vehemently anti-religious, which makes Helen nervous about telling him that she wants to explore her spirituality. There's some very heavy concepts dealt with in this show, including the question of whether or not Joan is actually talking to God and what it means. It's insanely well-written and I encourage you all to at least give it a shot, it may surprise you as it did me.

That out of the way, on to the more pressing matter. I'm sure you guys who haven't seen the show, are sitting there and thinking: Why did you write her name Jane in the title? Are you high, Blinvy? The answer is, of course I am but I'm still not crazy. I can explain.

See?

Ok, I'll explain a little further. Adam starts out as kind of a space case, everyone mistakenly thinks he's a pot head, actually. He mixes Joan's name up, either by accident because he was truly spaced out or on purpose as the end of his first episode would lead you to believe, because he wanted people to leave him alone. I think it was a little of both, personally but what started out as a slip up, morphed into this absolutely adorable pet name between them. Joan got so used to him calling her Jane that any time he calls her Joan, she knows he's upset. That's how awesome this couple is.

This is one of those things where you accidentally catch lightning in a bottle, and by that I mean that Adam was only ever planned to be in one episode of the series. He was just a one off character that Joan helped out because of her gift of talking to God. And that would have been it, I'm convinced, if any other actor had taken the role. As it was the role went to Chris Marquette and the chemistry he has with Amber Tamblyn is just wonderful to watch. You believe that their characters are drawn to each other. Because of this, the writers got the idea to keep Adam on as a character and seamlessly grew their relationship from there.

I had an easy time picturing them as a real couple. These two were
great at just ad-libbing these cute little moments together


What I also like about these characters is that they actually felt like real teens. Joan could be completely bratty sometimes and Adam was oblivious sometimes but they both tried to be supportive of one another despite whatever was going on. When Joan took up cheerleading out of the blue, Adam was fully supportive (not for the usual teen guy reason...not entirely), he was for it because Joan wanted to do it and he wanted her to be happy.


Is this not just the cutest thing?

When Adam was spiralling downward, Joan took notice and despite him being mad at her, she still sought him out and asked him if he was ok. What I like the most about them is that even though they do misunderstand each other sometimes, instead of making crap up or talking in circles, they flat out ask each other what is wrong and they talk about it and move forward. I never felt like they were going one step forward and then two steps back to draw out some "will they/won't they" drama. It felt natural. Even when they kissed and Joan got scared and backed off, felt natural for her character who is a bit of an emotional wreck. They still remained friends, Adam moved on and started dating someone else, instead of being a Nice Guy Friendzone whiner, until they eventually couldn't deny their feelings for each other anymore.

How she even put off dating him is a mystery to me


There is something about these two where I could watch them be together for hours and not get bored. I never felt more strongly about a couple being together than with these two and Pacey and Joey. But these two pulled me in just a bit more and I was legitimately devastated when the show broke them up. Yes, I said the show did because in real life (yes I'm talking about these characters in the context of real life, shut up!) they wouldn't have broken up, of this I am convinced. The show's producers, the networks producers, I'm unsure, decided that Adam and Joan were getting to be like "an old married couple" and wanted them broken up. Supposedly both Chris and Amber protested this decision (and rightly so since really, the show didn't focus that much on their relationship to justify this decision) but they went forward anyway. I think Chris eventually agreed to the break up but argued about the why because yeah, that was some character assassination they pulled there. They made him cheat, of course, it's the stand by reason writers love to use for a couple to break up and is honestly getting more boring to me than a relationship actually lasting. But, it wouldn't have been so bad, I might have been able to stomach it, if they hadn't made his character so cruel about it. You just end up feeling bad for the girl he cheated with, he's awful to her. The whole thing left a sour taste in my mouth and it was only mildly redeemed by the fact that Amber and Chris are great actors and absolutely nailed the scene where Joan finds out he cheated. It's great...it was just a let down that they had to break up that way.

Jeez, could I have picked a more downer way to end this list? Sorry about that, I'm still bitter on this one because I love this couple so much. Even after the break up, it is shown that they still care about each other and I have no doubt that if the show continued, they would have at least mended their friendship and perhaps found their way to each other again. In my head cannon, they did but in my heart of hearts, the cheating never happened because there is just no way that Adam cheated on Joan. They are too adorable together. So let's leave this list on a positive note, shall we?

There. Much better.

Basically, Jane and Adam are my number one favourite teen couple for life. I have never seen a teen couple dealt with so realistically, so naturally, and just so sweetly as these two. They are the best.

Indeed, Adam, indeed


And that concludes my Top Ten Best Teen Couples. I defy you to not be able to find at least one couple on this list that you like and if you seriously dislike all of these then it is my opinion that you have no soul and I bid you good day, sirs. Kidding aside, let me know what you think of the list and who your favourite teen couples are. I actually learned something about myself, writing this list.  I'd never much considered myself as having a clearly defined type, for some reason I just didn't think about it but after writing this, I think it's pretty damn obvious that I do and I wonder how I never noticed this before. With the exception of Tara and Sean who are both blonde and one is a girl and I guess Nick who is more light brown, there is a very noticeable constant on this list, the dark haired goofy type. Yep, I am definitely a sucker for dark haired guys, especially if they are fun and goofy. It is no surprise at all to me that I ended up marrying a dark haired, goofy type. The more you know.

I hope you enjoyed reading and that you all have a fun Valentine's Day, whatever you happen to do with it.

Thursday, 5 February 2015

Top Ten Worst Teen Couples

So, with Valentine's Day fast approaching, I thought it would be fun to share a list of my favourite and least favourite teen couples, starting with the worst. I'm going to stress that I have not gone out in search of general consensus and opinions on this matter, this list is purely my tastes and opinions. I cannot speak for everyone's nostalgic teen experiences with couples they looked up to, only mine. I find it's more interesting to learn how other people viewed things rather than just reading the standard doting praise on the usual top couples.

I'm also going to warn you all ahead of time that this list will piss a lot of people off because I have some people's favourite couples, some very popular favourite couples on this list, but I remind you again that this is simply a list of my personal least favourites and I will explain why. Also:

Please?


If you have a differing opinion, which I'm sure a lot of people will, please do feel free to share it and explain why they are your favourite or maybe even offer a few of your least favourites on here. I love hearing different opinions, all I ask is that you do it respectfully and that no one name calls or gets personal. Though the people that do comment are super cool so I probably don't have to worry. With all this in mind I present to you first, my Top Ten Worst Teen Couples:

10. Harvey and Sabrina - Sabrina the Teenage Witch
They certainly do look cute together though

Now this one actually surprised me. I was all set to put them on my Top Ten Best list based on pure nostalgia alone. They were going to be low on that list because they were never my extremely favourite, I just remember swooning over them when I watched the show way back on ABC's TGIF and remembered wanting them to get together. Then I got the urge to do a re-watch of the series and....they did not hold up for me. Their will they won't they was very sloppily done. There were episodes where it seemed like they were dating anyway but then the next they were going on about how they couldn't tell each other they liked the other and you just wonder why it was so hard when they were basically dating anyway. Not to mention, I found Harvey to be such a non-character. He was basically just there to be "cute guy that likes Sabrina" and wasn't really a fully developed character in his own right. On top of that, when they did start dating, he really didn't stand up for Sabrina a lot. Her nemesis, Libby was continuously insulting her in front of Harvey and then Harvey would stupidly say how nice Libby was.

Duh...Libby's always nice to me

Or he wouldn't clue in that Libby obviously liked him and stand his ground that he was dating Sabrina. A person can't be stolen, they have to want to cheat to cheat but I completely believe that Harvey was stupid enough to just go with whatever girl gave him attention that week. To be fair, at about the third season, I think it was, he finally did take a stand with Libby and tell her off because he was dating Sabrina but it felt like too little too late. It was enough to keep them from being higher on this list but not enough to save them completely from the worst list. Especially since the show's worst offence was the fact that when they actually started to give him a personality, and make him seem interesting, they wrote him out of the show. Boo-urns Sabrina the Teenage Witch, boo-urns.

Minor, minor points for having them end up together, even if they only
brought Harvey back for like the last 10 seconds of the series finale. 


9. Nicole and Carlos - Crazy/Beautiful
Anyone remember this one? Anyone?

I'm the type of person that actually really does enjoy watching bad movies because I usually find them somewhat enjoyable at what they fail to do or because there is a performance that is funny. The one thing I find unforgivable in a bad movie is being utterly and completely boring. That was this movie. The characters were completely uninteresting to me, and absolutely lacked energy and chemistry. Not to mention the entire movie felt so fucking long. I swear I actually fell asleep for a bit in the movie and then woke up and was angered to find that it was still going. I might have only passed out for 10 seconds but it sure made the movie feel like it lasted an eternity. I don't know, I just did not care for the plot and I did not care if these two got together or not. I also remember next to nothing about the plot and I'm going to flat out admit that I refused to re-watch this one to even find out if my opinion was still the same or not. From what I remember, it was your basic straight laced guy meets a manic pixie dream girl who shows him how to live and have fun (and also fucks up his life a bit but who cares because lurve! Amirite?). Boring, boring, boring and did I mention boring? Because that's really all I've got to say about this couple. They are saved from being higher on this list simply for being forgettable (themselves and the movie, not my experience at being completely, mind-numbingly bored). Next.

8. Liz and Max - Roswell
Horny yet?

This is not even close to the most unpopular opinion on this list but I'm sure it's up there. I enjoy Roswell and I like the characters Liz and Max, in theory. They are definitely more engaging than say Bella and Edward but they still fall into the category of being almost too in love with their love and angst. I find couples that are just so in love with themselves to be kind of annoying and while Liz and Max are not even close to the worst offenders on this list, they still have their moments. I also felt like sometimes they were a bit hypocritical. For instance, they were completely attracted to each other and for a while, thought they were being oh so noble by staying apart because of some unknown danger or whatever and that was fine for them to choose that. Where they lost me was the minute they started criticizing Michael and Maria for getting together while they themselves were kind of getting together. No, sorry, no but I dislike couples that judge other people for doing exactly what they themselves do because it's only special when they do it. Not cool. So, I feel they earned their spot on this list for being self-involved and full of themselves. Sorry, Max and Liz fans.

7) Xander and Cordelia - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I'm in the, I'm learning, small minority that actually likes Xander...most of the time. I also like Cordelia. I absolutely did not like these two together. While I do get the appeal of the hate/love trope and it can work in some instances, I just felt that these two were a little too much on the hate side for me to buy them actually wanting to be together, especially Xander. I'm not going to say they were completely awful together, they had their moments it's just that their bad moments were pretty mean spirited. One example of this would be in the episode Bad Eggs in a scene where the two are making out in a closet:

Xander: You know what? This would work a lot better for me if you didn't talk.
Cordelia: Well, it'd work a lot better for me with the lights off.

I don't know, maybe some people found them on equal footing, maybe they enjoyed their banter, or maybe they just ignored it and found their jabs funny without caring about the relationship part. I happened to find the lines like the ones above just a little harsh and made me uncomfortable. They get some better scenes and better development where they both soften a bit, especially after it is exposed that they are dating but I still couldn't quite shake the meanness these two slung at each other in earlier episodes especially the stuff Xander was slinging her way. I believe at one point he told her that he needed her help but that she had to put on something trashy...er. What the hell? If a guy I liked insinuated that he thought I dressed trashy he would have gotten his ass kicked to the curb. Some of their banter was fun and some of their moments cute, but their meanness just kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. I just expect a little better out of this show, which I adore.

Yes, please stay away from her
(image from Fanpop)


Dishonourable mention: Willow and Xander

These two didn't last long but man was it uncomfortable when they were together. I just didn't like them together, it seemed awkward and forced and worst offence of all, it happened at the expense of hurting Willow's relationship with Oz. You don't mess with Oz.

Great friends just no on the romantic side for me

Now to continue with the list:

6) Laney and Zack - She's All That
Only likes her when she changes for him

When I first watched the movie, I actually enjoyed it and when I watch it now, I still enjoy it if just to laugh at its silliness and my own silliness for swooning for it. That being said, I actually really don't like these two. Cinderella stories are all the rage, I know but I'm kind of in Joey's camp (see Dawson's Creek - Beauty Contest episode) on this and that's "if you couldn't see my worth until I put on makeup and a fancy dress, I kind of don't think you see my worth at all" Laney was a pretty girl, maybe not jaw droopingly gorgeous but she was not the hideous monster that the movie and let's face it, even Zack, tried to make her out to be.

So, strike one Zack writes her off because she doesn't wear heels and wears her hair a way that he deems awful. Strike two, he pressures her into wearing contacts when she clearly tells him that they irritate her (the movie kind of forgets this as she never goes back to wearing her glasses anyway) but still, in his eyes, she wasn't good enough for him because she was born with bad eyesight, a thing that she can't control, (and as a glasses wearer, seriously fuck you, Zack). Strike three, he kind of tries to make his friend out to be the villain just because he told Laney about their bet but Zack is actually worse because he's the one that came up with the idea for the bet in the first place and he mocked her behind her back too. He was no angel.

I was honestly kind of happy that she decided to go to the dance with Paul Walker's character, Dean, instead of Zack. Yeah, he was bragging about getting to have sex with her but I didn't get the impression that he was going to rape her or anything. So ultimately, it was her choice. She could refuse to go to the hotel room he got or she could choose to have sex with him. I disliked that Zack turned it into this "I have to save her virtue" thing because he thought she'd be "tricked" into it. It was especially hypocritical of him as he also tricked Laney. So yeah, I didn't really buy these two together or why Laney would ever forgive him and still want to be with him. The story just doesn't work as a romance where the leads end up together, Pygmalion had it right.

And now...the Top Five Worst Couples are...

5) Ryan and Marissa - The O.C.
They were pretty together...pretty awful

Oh my god, these two are awful! I adored this show when it first aired, I loved how over the top and cheesy it was and I actually somewhat liked Ryan and Marissa's tumultuous love affair at first. I think that was mainly due to Ryan and me just wanting to see him succeed because of his back story (not really for any character or emotion Ryan shows because Ben Mckenzie is just...kind of Kristen Stewart-y in that regard). The next time I watched it, I just couldn't understand what the heck Ryan saw in Marissa other than she was pretty. She is whiny, selfish, annoying, stupid, basic, and did I mention selfish yet? Because yeah, she totally is. I think I loathed her from the moment they got back from Tijuana and she jeopardized his future by begging him to skip out on his entrance exam to get into a prestigious school. Ryan was smart, he finally had a chance at bettering his life as he was coming from the slums and a criminal past but no Marissa and her whiny pants was sad because her mother was being mean to her so he absolutely had to drop everything that second to come and help her. Yeah, no. She's awful. She also blatantly ignored Oliver being a dick to Ryan and just out and out being psycho because she's too stupid to live. I just, I got to a point where I just didn't ever want these two to get back together ever again.


The show apparently agreed with me and killed her off


4) Cory and Topanga - Boy Meets World
He looked like Screech. Why did she like him?

I wasn't ever really as enamoured with this show as everyone else was but I did watch it and got mild amusement from it. At first, I was pretty sold on Cory and Topanga getting together and I enjoyed watching but then the show started to pretend as if they were soulmates and while I don't mind the concept of soulmates, I think I've made it quite clear that I absolutely loathe being told that two characters are soulmates. Especially when it's just shorthand for "we're too lazy to develop this relationship into something believable so we're going to throw a big word at you and pretend like that explains why they belong together" and then never show us why they are soulmates. I then got even more nauseated by this couple when the show decided it would rewrite history and tell us that they had been going out since they were 3. Fucking 3!! How disturbed is that? I mean, firstly, it was quite clear in the first season that Cory and Topanga were not together and that he thought she was freaking weird and wanted really nothing to do with her. This only changed when they moved into junior high and he decided that she got hot. So, the writers were insulting my intelligence and memory at that point but secondly, it is just really weird to tell us that two 3 year olds knew about romance and wanted to be together forever. I don't know, I just don't find things like that cute or endearing and it certainly didn't sell me on them being soulmates for life. Just no.

Seriously, she was weird and he didn't like her.
Does no one remember this?


3) Bella and Edward - Twilight (and its sequels)
My god...your breath stinks!

I tried to keep this list mostly to things that I had watched when I was a teen but I just couldn't, in good conscience, leave these two off my worst of list. They are geared towards teens so I think they absolutely belong here and to be fair, I would have loathed them just as much when I was a teen as you will find out later on.

You've all heard the criticisms of this series ad nauseam by now but, let me assure you, they are all completely legit. We have a girl who is just the most depressing thing ever, who decides that she'd rather be young and pretty forever than be with any of her family or friends, decides that no one is good enough to hang out with once she meets Edward, and who plays two guys against each other. She's awful. Then there's Edward himself, who is attracted to Bella because she smells delicious to him. Her blood is his drug, as he himself even tells Bella numerous times. So, his attraction is born out of the fact that he wants to kill and eat Bella. Ok.... Not only this, he breaks into her house at night to watch her sleep and this is before he's actually talked to her or really befriended her which just ups the creep factor as if it wasn't already maxed out before. Then when they are in a relationship, he pretty much tries to control her every move under the guise of needing to keep her "protected". I could go on and on about how wrong these two are for each other, how selfish they both are and worst, what horrible role models they are for young and impressionable girls. They are terrible characters in a terrible story and I'm glad that Twilight's popularity has died off.

"I only like you because you smell good"
"Yeah, well I only like you because you're hot and you can make me young forever"


Ok, here's where I start to get a bit unpopular but to people who have been reading my blog for a while now, this next one shouldn't come as a shock.

2) Dawson and Joey - Dawson's Creek
These two should stay far away from each other

Come on, you knew they would be on here. I think I've covered extremely clearly in my recaps why I dislike this couple but I'll try to sum up my feelings here. Basically, these two characters are awful together. They are a classic case of the writers being lazy and just throwing the word "soulmate" at the audience to let us know that no matter how much they fight, they are still meant to be together but then they fail to give us a reason or show us why they should be together and instead just illustrate the many reasons they shouldn't be together.

My biggest gripe with this couple is how obvious it is that they can't last, their independent characterizations make it impossible for them to be together. Joey wants to get out of Capeside and explore the world, she's adventurous, she's excited at new possibilities and she's driven even if she's not quite sure what she wants to do with her life. Dawson wants to make movies and has a clear goal to get to Hollywood and become a filmmaker but at the same time, is way more comfortable being safe. There was that episode where they visited a college and I think the scene where they talk at the end pretty perfectly sums up why they are wrong for each other. While Dawson was frightened by the experience and felt better being at home, Joey felt awakened and excited.

Joey longs for adventure and to get out of Capeside, Dawson longs to make movies. You could argue that Hollywood is "out of Capeside" but I just doubt that the Joey Potter we got to know would be happy living amongst the "plastic" elite of Hollywood as Dawson's doting stay at home wife. Even if she found a job there, the vibe just wouldn't be Joey and Dawson would be away for long hours every day or hell for months in different locations depending on the shoot. I just don't think Joey would be happy with a life like that. Now this is me predicting their characters' future but even on the show when they were together, they didn't mesh for me.

For one, Joey gave up a paid semester to France for Dawson, that means she gave up a very important part of herself to stay with him and the minute you give up who you are to be with someone, that spells trouble for the relationship. Of course, I was right because pretty much every episode that chronicled their relationship from that point on had them fighting. Then the hilarious thing is that they both become better characters and better friends to others when they are not dating. Why should I buy that they are destined to be together again? Because when they are together, they fight all the time and ignore their friends? Sorry, I'm not buying this soulmate thing you're selling, writers.

Sobbing is not going to change my mind, Dawson

Ok, here's where I get really unpopular. I just want to remind everyone that this is my opinion only and you are absolutely free to disagree with it. Let's just all remember to be civil. Ok, so my pick for the number one Worst Teen Couple is....

1) Buffy and Angel - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
This one is going to get me killed, I know it

Yes, you read that right. Yes, I watched this show religiously when it first aired, season 1 right through to the end and I still love it to this day. Yes, I am telling the truth. No, I am not a Buffy/Spike shipper either but this is worst teen couple which is why I went with her teen years when deciding.

So, why do I hate this couple? Well, for starters, I just thought they were boring and Angel was just not appealing to me. Secondly, I watched this show because I loved the concept. I loved that there was this young girl who could kick monsters' butts. She was the hero, not the guy as was usually the case back then. I loved the horror elements, the action, the funny dialogue, the only thing I just wasn't that into with it were the romantic relationships. That just wasn't me and where I was the one who was gushing about how cool the monsters were or how awesome Buffy was at defeating them, everyone else was gushing over the most boring aspect of the show to me, Buffy and Angel. So, my disinterest just kind of grew to bitter resentment from there.

Also, he's a vampire and he's conditioned to kill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's got a soul but for cripes sake, he killed a hell of a lot of people before that soul existed and fucking enjoyed it. I just don't buy the soul/no soul excuse as if he's a different person with or without one because you know what? Liam was a pretty horrible person too. I actually might have swallowed the soul/no soul thing better had he been shown to be a good guy before but that the demon soul took over and made him evil but, it didn't look that way to me at all. All I saw was an asshole guy given the gift of immortality and falling in love with the killing aspect so much that he enjoyed tormenting and torturing his victims before killing or turning them. I just....I couldn't be in love with someone who committed the atrocities that Angel did. Not to mention that the tragedy of their relationship was that they couldn't be together because if Angel experiences "true happiness" he will turn evil. Que? He was with Buffy a hell of a lot before and kissed her a lot...are you telling me that he is only happy with Buffy when he fucks her? Hot. Just being with Buffy doesn't make him happy, only sex does and that kind of always felt icky to me. Plus, I just always found it creepy that he was a 27 year old who was hanging around a sixteen year old girl and then making out with her, let alone a centuries old vampire. He was a creeper.

I probably wasn't supposed to cheer at this part, huh?
#sorrynotsorry

I don't get and have never gotten the appeal of vampires. Ok, I sort of got the appeal with Jerry Dandridge who was oddly arousing in Fright Night but I still wanted to see him defeated in the end. So, I do like them but I find them infinitely more appealing as villains. I mean, what future do you possibly have with a vampire? Nothing because either you grow old and die while they live or they kill you when you're still young and naive so that when you finally wake up and realize that you might not want to be undead and outlive all of your loved ones and have to drink blood and not experience the joys of food anymore, and possibly realize that perhaps, you do want children well, you're screwed. Actually, you're dead and there's no undoing that. The other option is that you stay together until you do grow and realize that you want more out of a relationship than staying out all night all the time and you break up with them. Ironically it was this thought that lead to me reading Twilight because someone told me that it explored those questions more deeply. Spoiler alert, it did not and I was pissed at that person for convincing me to read the first two books in that series before I rage quit.

Mayor: Yeah, and that's just one of the things you're going to have to deal with. You're immortal, she's not. It's not. I married my Edna May in ought-three and I was with her right until the end. Not a pretty picture. Wrinkled and senile and cursing me for my youth. Wasn't our happiest time. And let's not forget the fact that any moment of true happiness will turn you evil. I mean, come on. What kind of a life can you offer her? I don't see a lot of Sunday picnics in the offing. I see skulking in the shadows, hiding from the sun. She's a blossoming young girl and you want to keep her from the life she should have until it has passed her by. My God! I think that's a little selfish.
I may or may not have cheered for the Mayor when he made that speech too. Crazy or not, the dude was on point and I couldn't agree with him more. Buffy and Angel were doomed to failure. She may love him but they just weren't meant to be, in my opinion.

On top of these reasons, even if I buy into Angel being super good and not the same as Angelus at all or really the same as Liam, even still, I do not like them as a couple. This is my biggest reason. I love Buffy so much, she was a huge part of my teen years. I looked up to her and wanted to be her so much that I took karate lessons and actually earned my black belt (which is probably useless now that I've been out of training for over a decade...God, I'm old). The thing I admired about her was that she could handle things, she was the one who saved people, the world. Yet, when she and Angel got together she became just a bit less independent and a little more dependent on Angel to be there for her or sometimes even save her (she was worse for this with Spike which is why I hate her with Spike probably more than I do with Angel but again, teen couple). I hated that. I hated that she acted like she couldn't defend herself when he was around. She was the motherfucking slayer, she could handle her shit. They were also kind of mushy gushy and melodramatic about their love too. As evidenced in the episode Reptile Boy:

Buffy: When you kiss me, I wanna die!
I despise that line. It sounds like something that is more in place in Twilight than the smartly written Buffy but most of all I hate it because it felt like she was saying that she wants to give up being the slayer just to be with him and be a vampire and fuck that noise. I'm not behind this unhealthy attachment to a person thing where you'd give up everything you have in your life to be with them, everything that makes you, you. That's bullshit, it's weak, and it wasn't what I wanted to hear from Buffy. Anytime their scenes came on and they were discussing their relationship and whether or not they could do it, I basically felt like Xander in The Zeppo.

video
Yeah, can we not come back to that later? 
Because I'm not interested. #heartless

Well, that's my Top Ten Worst Teen Couples list. Who are your least favourite teen couples? Feel free to share and discuss. Stay tuned for the special Valentine's Day post that lists my personal Top Ten Best Teen Couples...unless I can't out run those nice people running towards me with torches and pitchforks.

Gotta go!