Top Ten Worst Teen Couples

So, with Valentine's Day fast approaching, I thought it would be fun to share a list of my favourite and least favourite teen couples, starting with the worst. I'm going to stress that I have not gone out in search of general consensus and opinions on this matter, this list is purely my tastes and opinions. I cannot speak for everyone's nostalgic teen experiences with couples they looked up to, only mine. I find it's more interesting to learn how other people viewed things rather than just reading the standard doting praise on the usual top couples.

I'm also going to warn you all ahead of time that this list will piss a lot of people off because I have some people's favourite couples, some very popular favourite couples on this list, but I remind you again that this is simply a list of my personal least favourites and I will explain why. Also:

Please?

If you have a differing opinion, which I'm sure a lot of people will, please do feel free to share it and explain why they are your favourite or maybe even offer a few of your least favourites on here. I love hearing different opinions, all I ask is that you do it respectfully and that no one name calls or gets personal. Though the people that do comment are super cool so I probably don't have to worry. With all this in mind I present to you first, my Top Ten Worst Teen Couples:

10. Harvey and Sabrina - Sabrina the Teenage Witch

They certainly do look cute together though

Now this one actually surprised me. I was all set to put them on my Top Ten Best list based on pure nostalgia alone. They were going to be low on that list because they were never my extremely favourite, I just remember swooning over them when I watched the show way back on ABC's TGIF and remembered wanting them to get together. Then I got the urge to do a re-watch of the series and....they did not hold up for me. Their will they won't they was very sloppily done. There were episodes where it seemed like they were dating anyway but then the next they were going on about how they couldn't tell each other they liked the other and you just wonder why it was so hard when they were basically dating anyway. Not to mention, I found Harvey to be such a non-character. He was basically just there to be "cute guy that likes Sabrina" and wasn't really a fully developed character in his own right. On top of that, when they did start dating, he really didn't stand up for Sabrina a lot. Her nemesis, Libby was continuously insulting her in front of Harvey and then Harvey would stupidly say how nice Libby was.

Duh...Libby's always nice to me

Or he wouldn't clue in that Libby obviously liked him and stand his ground that he was dating Sabrina. A person can't be stolen, they have to want to cheat to cheat but I completely believe that Harvey was stupid enough to just go with whatever girl gave him attention that week. To be fair, at about the third season, I think it was, he finally did take a stand with Libby and tell her off because he was dating Sabrina but it felt like too little too late. It was enough to keep them from being higher on this list but not enough to save them completely from the worst list. Especially since the show's worst offence was the fact that when they actually started to give him a personality, and make him seem interesting, they wrote him out of the show. Boo-urns Sabrina the Teenage Witch, boo-urns.

Minor, minor points for having them end up together, even if they only
brought Harvey back for like the last 10 seconds of the series finale. 

9. Nicole and Carlos - Crazy/Beautiful

Anyone remember this one? Anyone?

I'm the type of person that actually really does enjoy watching bad movies because I usually find them somewhat enjoyable at what they fail to do or because there is a performance that is funny. The one thing I find unforgivable in a bad movie is being utterly and completely boring. That was this movie. The characters were completely uninteresting to me, and absolutely lacked energy and chemistry. Not to mention the entire movie felt so fucking long. I swear I actually fell asleep for a bit in the movie and then woke up and was angered to find that it was still going. I might have only passed out for 10 seconds but it sure made the movie feel like it lasted an eternity. I don't know, I just did not care for the plot and I did not care if these two got together or not. I also remember next to nothing about the plot and I'm going to flat out admit that I refused to re-watch this one to even find out if my opinion was still the same or not. From what I remember, it was your basic straight laced guy meets a manic pixie dream girl who shows him how to live and have fun (and also fucks up his life a bit but who cares because lurve! Amirite?). Boring, boring, boring and did I mention boring? Because that's really all I've got to say about this couple. They are saved from being higher on this list simply for being forgettable (themselves and the movie, not my experience at being completely, mind-numbingly bored). Next.

8. Liz and Max - Roswell

Horny yet?

This is not even close to the most unpopular opinion on this list but I'm sure it's up there. I enjoy Roswell and I like the characters Liz and Max, in theory. They are definitely more engaging than say Bella and Edward but they still fall into the category of being almost too in love with their love and angst. I find couples that are just so in love with themselves to be kind of annoying and while Liz and Max are not even close to the worst offenders on this list, they still have their moments. I also felt like sometimes they were a bit hypocritical. For instance, they were completely attracted to each other and for a while, thought they were being oh so noble by staying apart because of some unknown danger or whatever and that was fine for them to choose that. Where they lost me was the minute they started criticizing Michael and Maria for getting together while they themselves were kind of getting together. No, sorry, no but I dislike couples that judge other people for doing exactly what they themselves do because it's only special when they do it. Not cool. So, I feel they earned their spot on this list for being self-involved and full of themselves. Sorry, Max and Liz fans.

7) Xander and Cordelia - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I'm in the, I'm learning, small minority that actually likes Xander...most of the time. I also like Cordelia. I absolutely did not like these two together. While I do get the appeal of the hate/love trope and it can work in some instances, I just felt that these two were a little too much on the hate side for me to buy them actually wanting to be together, especially Xander. I'm not going to say they were completely awful together, they had their moments it's just that their bad moments were pretty mean spirited. One example of this would be in the episode Bad Eggs in a scene where the two are making out in a closet:

Xander: You know what? This would work a lot better for me if you didn't talk.
Cordelia: Well, it'd work a lot better for me with the lights off.

I don't know, maybe some people found them on equal footing, maybe they enjoyed their banter, or maybe they just ignored it and found their jabs funny without caring about the relationship part. I happened to find the lines like the ones above just a little harsh and made me uncomfortable. They get some better scenes and better development where they both soften a bit, especially after it is exposed that they are dating but I still couldn't quite shake the meanness these two slung at each other in earlier episodes especially the stuff Xander was slinging her way. I believe at one point he told her that he needed her help but that she had to put on something trashy...er. What the hell? If a guy I liked insinuated that he thought I dressed trashy he would have gotten his ass kicked to the curb. Some of their banter was fun and some of their moments cute, but their meanness just kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. I just expect a little better out of this show, which I adore.

Yes, please stay away from her
(image from Fanpop)

Dishonourable mention: Willow and Xander

These two didn't last long but man was it uncomfortable when they were together. I just didn't like them together, it seemed awkward and forced and worst offence of all, it happened at the expense of hurting Willow's relationship with Oz. You don't mess with Oz.

Great friends just no on the romantic side for me

Now to continue with the list:

6) Laney and Zack - She's All That

Only likes her when she changes for him

When I first watched the movie, I actually enjoyed it and when I watch it now, I still enjoy it if just to laugh at its silliness and my own silliness for swooning for it. That being said, I actually really don't like these two. Cinderella stories are all the rage, I know but I'm kind of in Joey's camp (see Dawson's Creek - Beauty Contest episode) on this and that's "if you couldn't see my worth until I put on makeup and a fancy dress, I kind of don't think you see my worth at all" Laney was a pretty girl, maybe not jaw droopingly gorgeous but she was not the hideous monster that the movie and let's face it, even Zack, tried to make her out to be.

So, strike one Zack writes her off because she doesn't wear heels and wears her hair a way that he deems awful. Strike two, he pressures her into wearing contacts when she clearly tells him that they irritate her (the movie kind of forgets this as she never goes back to wearing her glasses anyway) but still, in his eyes, she wasn't good enough for him because she was born with bad eyesight, a thing that she can't control, (and as a glasses wearer, seriously fuck you, Zack). Strike three, he kind of tries to make his friend out to be the villain just because he told Laney about their bet but Zack is actually worse because he's the one that came up with the idea for the bet in the first place and he mocked her behind her back too. He was no angel.

I was honestly kind of happy that she decided to go to the dance with Paul Walker's character, Dean, instead of Zack. Yeah, he was bragging about getting to have sex with her but I didn't get the impression that he was going to rape her or anything. So ultimately, it was her choice. She could refuse to go to the hotel room he got or she could choose to have sex with him. I disliked that Zack turned it into this "I have to save her virtue" thing because he thought she'd be "tricked" into it. It was especially hypocritical of him as he also tricked Laney. So yeah, I didn't really buy these two together or why Laney would ever forgive him and still want to be with him. The story just doesn't work as a romance where the leads end up together, Pygmalion had it right.

And now...the Top Five Worst Couples are...

5) Ryan and Marissa - The O.C.

They were pretty together...pretty awful

Oh my god, these two are awful! I adored this show when it first aired, I loved how over the top and cheesy it was and I actually somewhat liked Ryan and Marissa's tumultuous love affair at first. I think that was mainly due to Ryan and me just wanting to see him succeed because of his back story (not really for any character or emotion Ryan shows because Ben Mckenzie is just...kind of Kristen Stewart-y in that regard). The next time I watched it, I just couldn't understand what the heck Ryan saw in Marissa other than she was pretty. She is whiny, selfish, annoying, stupid, basic, and did I mention selfish yet? Because yeah, she totally is. I think I loathed her from the moment they got back from Tijuana and she jeopardized his future by begging him to skip out on his entrance exam to get into a prestigious school. Ryan was smart, he finally had a chance at bettering his life as he was coming from the slums and a criminal past but no Marissa and her whiny pants was sad because her mother was being mean to her so he absolutely had to drop everything that second to come and help her. Yeah, no. She's awful. She also blatantly ignored Oliver being a dick to Ryan and just out and out being psycho because she's too stupid to live. I just, I got to a point where I just didn't ever want these two to get back together ever again.

The show apparently agreed with me and killed her off

4) Cory and Topanga - Boy Meets World

He looked like Screech. Why did she like him?

I wasn't ever really as enamoured with this show as everyone else was but I did watch it and got mild amusement from it. At first, I was pretty sold on Cory and Topanga getting together and I enjoyed watching but then the show started to pretend as if they were soulmates and while I don't mind the concept of soulmates, I think I've made it quite clear that I absolutely loathe being told that two characters are soulmates. Especially when it's just shorthand for "we're too lazy to develop this relationship into something believable so we're going to throw a big word at you and pretend like that explains why they belong together" and then never show us why they are soulmates. I then got even more nauseated by this couple when the show decided it would rewrite history and tell us that they had been going out since they were 3. Fucking 3!! How disturbed is that? I mean, firstly, it was quite clear in the first season that Cory and Topanga were not together and that he thought she was freaking weird and wanted really nothing to do with her. This only changed when they moved into junior high and he decided that she got hot. So, the writers were insulting my intelligence and memory at that point but secondly, it is just really weird to tell us that two 3 year olds knew about romance and wanted to be together forever. I don't know, I just don't find things like that cute or endearing and it certainly didn't sell me on them being soulmates for life. Just no.

Seriously, she was weird and he didn't like her.
Does no one remember this?

3) Bella and Edward - Twilight (and its sequels)

My god...your breath stinks!

I tried to keep this list mostly to things that I had watched when I was a teen but I just couldn't, in good conscience, leave these two off my worst of list. They are geared towards teens so I think they absolutely belong here and to be fair, I would have loathed them just as much when I was a teen as you will find out later on.

You've all heard the criticisms of this series ad nauseam by now but, let me assure you, they are all completely legit. We have a girl who is just the most depressing thing ever, who decides that she'd rather be young and pretty forever than be with any of her family or friends, decides that no one is good enough to hang out with once she meets Edward, and who plays two guys against each other. She's awful. Then there's Edward himself, who is attracted to Bella because she smells delicious to him. Her blood is his drug, as he himself even tells Bella numerous times. So, his attraction is born out of the fact that he wants to kill and eat Bella. Ok.... Not only this, he breaks into her house at night to watch her sleep and this is before he's actually talked to her or really befriended her which just ups the creep factor as if it wasn't already maxed out before. Then when they are in a relationship, he pretty much tries to control her every move under the guise of needing to keep her "protected". I could go on and on about how wrong these two are for each other, how selfish they both are and worst, what horrible role models they are for young and impressionable girls. They are terrible characters in a terrible story and I'm glad that Twilight's popularity has died off.

"I only like you because you smell good"
"Yeah, well I only like you because you're hot and you can make me young forever"

Ok, here's where I start to get a bit unpopular but to people who have been reading my blog for a while now, this next one shouldn't come as a shock.

2) Dawson and Joey - Dawson's Creek

These two should stay far away from each other

Come on, you knew they would be on here. I think I've covered extremely clearly in my recaps why I dislike this couple but I'll try to sum up my feelings here. Basically, these two characters are awful together. They are a classic case of the writers being lazy and just throwing the word "soulmate" at the audience to let us know that no matter how much they fight, they are still meant to be together but then they fail to give us a reason or show us why they should be together and instead just illustrate the many reasons they shouldn't be together.

My biggest gripe with this couple is how obvious it is that they can't last, their independent characterizations make it impossible for them to be together. Joey wants to get out of Capeside and explore the world, she's adventurous, she's excited at new possibilities and she's driven even if she's not quite sure what she wants to do with her life. Dawson wants to make movies and has a clear goal to get to Hollywood and become a filmmaker but at the same time, is way more comfortable being safe. There was that episode where they visited a college and I think the scene where they talk at the end pretty perfectly sums up why they are wrong for each other. While Dawson was frightened by the experience and felt better being at home, Joey felt awakened and excited.

Joey longs for adventure and to get out of Capeside, Dawson longs to make movies. You could argue that Hollywood is "out of Capeside" but I just doubt that the Joey Potter we got to know would be happy living amongst the "plastic" elite of Hollywood as Dawson's doting stay at home wife. Even if she found a job there, the vibe just wouldn't be Joey and Dawson would be away for long hours every day or hell for months in different locations depending on the shoot. I just don't think Joey would be happy with a life like that. Now this is me predicting their characters' future but even on the show when they were together, they didn't mesh for me.

For one, Joey gave up a paid semester to France for Dawson, that means she gave up a very important part of herself to stay with him and the minute you give up who you are to be with someone, that spells trouble for the relationship. Of course, I was right because pretty much every episode that chronicled their relationship from that point on had them fighting. Then the hilarious thing is that they both become better characters and better friends to others when they are not dating. Why should I buy that they are destined to be together again? Because when they are together, they fight all the time and ignore their friends? Sorry, I'm not buying this soulmate thing you're selling, writers.

Sobbing is not going to change my mind, Dawson

Ok, here's where I get really unpopular. I just want to remind everyone that this is my opinion only and you are absolutely free to disagree with it. Let's just all remember to be civil. Ok, so my pick for the number one Worst Teen Couple is....

1) Buffy and Angel - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

This one is going to get me killed, I know it

Yes, you read that right. Yes, I watched this show religiously when it first aired, season 1 right through to the end and I still love it to this day. Yes, I am telling the truth. No, I am not a Buffy/Spike shipper either but this is worst teen couple which is why I went with her teen years when deciding.

So, why do I hate this couple? Well, for starters, I just thought they were boring and Angel was just not appealing to me. Secondly, I watched this show because I loved the concept. I loved that there was this young girl who could kick monsters' butts. She was the hero, not the guy as was usually the case back then. I loved the horror elements, the action, the funny dialogue, the only thing I just wasn't that into with it were the romantic relationships. That just wasn't me and where I was the one who was gushing about how cool the monsters were or how awesome Buffy was at defeating them, everyone else was gushing over the most boring aspect of the show to me, Buffy and Angel. So, my disinterest just kind of grew to bitter resentment from there.

Also, he's a vampire and he's conditioned to kill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's got a soul but for cripes sake, he killed a hell of a lot of people before that soul existed and fucking enjoyed it. I just don't buy the soul/no soul excuse as if he's a different person with or without one because you know what? Liam was a pretty horrible person too. I actually might have swallowed the soul/no soul thing better had he been shown to be a good guy before but that the demon soul took over and made him evil but, it didn't look that way to me at all. All I saw was an asshole guy given the gift of immortality and falling in love with the killing aspect so much that he enjoyed tormenting and torturing his victims before killing or turning them. I just....I couldn't be in love with someone who committed the atrocities that Angel did. Not to mention that the tragedy of their relationship was that they couldn't be together because if Angel experiences "true happiness" he will turn evil. Que? He was with Buffy a hell of a lot before and kissed her a lot...are you telling me that he is only happy with Buffy when he fucks her? Hot. Just being with Buffy doesn't make him happy, only sex does and that kind of always felt icky to me. Plus, I just always found it creepy that he was a 27 year old who was hanging around a sixteen year old girl and then making out with her, let alone a centuries old vampire. He was a creeper.

I probably wasn't supposed to cheer at this part, huh?
#sorrynotsorry

I don't get and have never gotten the appeal of vampires. Ok, I sort of got the appeal with Jerry Dandridge who was oddly arousing in Fright Night but I still wanted to see him defeated in the end. So, I do like them but I find them infinitely more appealing as villains. I mean, what future do you possibly have with a vampire? Nothing because either you grow old and die while they live or they kill you when you're still young and naive so that when you finally wake up and realize that you might not want to be undead and outlive all of your loved ones and have to drink blood and not experience the joys of food anymore, and possibly realize that perhaps, you do want children well, you're screwed. Actually, you're dead and there's no undoing that. The other option is that you stay together until you do grow and realize that you want more out of a relationship than staying out all night all the time and you break up with them. Ironically it was this thought that lead to me reading Twilight because someone told me that it explored those questions more deeply. Spoiler alert, it did not and I was pissed at that person for convincing me to read the first two books in that series before I rage quit.

Mayor: Yeah, and that's just one of the things you're going to have to deal with. You're immortal, she's not. It's not. I married my Edna May in ought-three and I was with her right until the end. Not a pretty picture. Wrinkled and senile and cursing me for my youth. Wasn't our happiest time. And let's not forget the fact that any moment of true happiness will turn you evil. I mean, come on. What kind of a life can you offer her? I don't see a lot of Sunday picnics in the offing. I see skulking in the shadows, hiding from the sun. She's a blossoming young girl and you want to keep her from the life she should have until it has passed her by. My God! I think that's a little selfish.

I may or may not have cheered for the Mayor when he made that speech too. Crazy or not, the dude was on point and I couldn't agree with him more. Buffy and Angel were doomed to failure. She may love him but they just weren't meant to be, in my opinion.

On top of these reasons, even if I buy into Angel being super good and not the same as Angelus at all or really the same as Liam, even still, I do not like them as a couple. This is my biggest reason. I love Buffy so much, she was a huge part of my teen years. I looked up to her and wanted to be her so much that I took karate lessons and actually earned my black belt (which is probably useless now that I've been out of training for over a decade...God, I'm old). The thing I admired about her was that she could handle things, she was the one who saved people, the world. Yet, when she and Angel got together she became just a bit less independent and a little more dependent on Angel to be there for her or sometimes even save her (she was worse for this with Spike which is why I hate her with Spike probably more than I do with Angel but again, teen couple). I hated that. I hated that she acted like she couldn't defend herself when he was around. She was the motherfucking slayer, she could handle her shit. They were also kind of mushy gushy and melodramatic about their love too. As evidenced in the episode Reptile Boy:

Buffy: When you kiss me, I wanna die!

I despise that line. It sounds like something that is more in place in Twilight than the smartly written Buffy but most of all I hate it because it felt like she was saying that she wants to give up being the slayer just to be with him and be a vampire and fuck that noise. I'm not behind this unhealthy attachment to a person thing where you'd give up everything you have in your life to be with them, everything that makes you, you. That's bullshit, it's weak, and it wasn't what I wanted to hear from Buffy. Anytime their scenes came on and they were discussing their relationship and whether or not they could do it, I basically felt like Xander in The Zeppo.

Yeah, can we not come back to that later? 

Because I'm not interested. #heartless

Well, that's my Top Ten Worst Teen Couples list. Who are your least favourite teen couples? Feel free to share and discuss. Stay tuned for the special Valentine's Day post that lists my personal Top Ten Best Teen Couples...unless I can't out run those nice people running towards me with torches and pitchforks.

Gotta go!

Dawson's Creek - 314 - Valentine's Day Massacre

Original air date: February 2, 2000

Welcome back to the recaps. When we last left off, Dawson had quit film class, Joey went on a date with college guy, Pacey acted in a play, and Jen avoided dating Henry. Let's find out what shenanigans the Creek gang get into this episode, shall we?

The episode opens with Dawson teaching Joey how to drive. Like most things, Dawson fails at it and for the second time in a recap, I have to tell a male character that they are no Lloyd Dobler.

Joey agrees

Pacey asks Joey if she's going on a date with AJ for Valentine's but apparently he's too busy with mid-terms. Pacey gets offended by the notion that AJ would rather do school work than take Joey out for Valentine's but Joey claims that she's fine with it as AJ is dedicated to his studies. Dawson and Pacey then invite Joey to the party they are going to which is hosted by Matt Caulfield. I love how they say his name like we're supposed to give a shit who this is. He's never been mentioned before now but apparently he's a douche because Joey expresses disgust that they are choosing to go to a "Matt Caulfield Party." Of course, Joey hates most things so...not sure how much that says about it. She and Pacey bicker over whether or not Dawson should go, as if he's their child which makes me laugh. Joey ultimately decides not to join them.

At school, Pacey and Dawson are looking over at the supposedly infamous Matt Caulfield who, urban legend has it, slept with six cheerleaders in one weekend.

Uh oh, he likes sex so he must be evil!

Dawson waffles a bit about whether he wants to go to the party after all but Pacey convinces him to take a chance and just go. Jack comes up to them and says that he didn't get the location to the party as it is completely confidential (how are people supposed to go then?) but he did get the password. Are you ready for what it is?

Because the Matrix was a big thing back then and therefore,
it must be referenced!

So, remember how last episode, Jen told Henry that she didn't want him to do anymore grand gestures? How she didn't need him to try so hard? Well, that apparently went in one ear and out the other because Henry is begging a blood bank nurse to take his blood even though he's already given lots and shouldn't give again for another 72 hours. He whines about how he has a date with an angel and how he worked at her favourite restaurant for two weeks to buy her dinner there, reserved the best table, and now wants to sell his blood so that he can buy her a gift. Look, Henry, it's sweet that you want to do all of this for Jen, it really is and I want to like you for it but dude, chill out. She's just a girl and she also asked you to stop doing shit like this because it makes her uncomfortable. Do yourself a favour and listen to her, for your own good and, you know, so you don't go into anemic shock. But if Henry actually listened to her, we wouldn't have a conflict for this episode and God knows this show needs more conflict.

More conflict, more! Get it all in there! As much as you possibly can!

Pacey, meanwhile, is talking to Doug about joining him for a ride along but Doug says that Pacey would be bored because all he is doing is casing the golf course in case there is a party being thrown there. Doug then asks if Pacey knows anything about a party and Pacey says he thought there would be a rager on Witch Island (SHOUT OUT TO WITCH ISLAND, THEY REMEMBERED IT EXISTED!). Then he walks away all pleased with himself but I'm not super clear on why. I mean, he thinks he's learned the location of the party but it's obvious that the cops are aware of it and are looking to shut it down. So, why does he want to go if the cops are just going to shut it down? Did he really think that Doug would take his word and only check out Witch Island and not the golf course that the citizen tip told him about? I guess so because Pacey walks away really pleased with himself for figuring out the location.

Andie informs Jack that her friend is coming to town to hang out with them. This friend is in fact, Jack's ex which makes him extremely upset and nervous about her arrival as his ex was a girl and he is now into boys. Andie tells him that it will be fine and all he has to do is tell her that he likes boys. Easy peasy, right?

Jen is getting ready for her date with Henry and is extremely nervous so Grams tries her best to calm her nerves. Jen, however, insists that she's not nervous at all, despite being obviously nervous. Hey, Jen, you're probably nervous because you know that you're going to end up being Henry's next victim.

Yes, I will continue beating this joke to death. He's creepy

Andie's friend, Kate, has arrived and is making small talk with Jack. She asks him if he has a special someone and Jack mentions that it's funny she should ask. Kate then bursts into tears and says that that is exactly what her ex said before he told her he was gay.

Womp-womp!

The gang meets up at the golf course and Andie introduces everyone to Kate. Kate then, extremely awkwardly tells everyone that she just broke up with her gay boyfriend and that she's super emotional because everyone just announces stuff like this. "Hey guys, I just want to let you know that I am extremely vulnerable right now, so please take advantage of me? Kay, thanks!" Guys really think girls talk like this, don't they? So, Pacey earns demerit points by telling Dawson to totally take advantage of this girl's emotional state and of course, this is where Joey shows up.

Pacey asks Joey what she's doing at the party that she intended to boycott (also, how the hell would she know where it is? They didn't think she was going so why would they have told her where to go?) and Joey tells him that she's there to make sure that Dawson doesn't go over to the dark side. Dawson pipes up and says that he can take care of himself. Sure you can, Dawson. Sure you can.

Jen opens her door to Henry who looks like he's about to keel over because of the lack of blood he has circulating his system. Jen doesn't know this but asks if he's alright to which he spouts some nonsense about being afraid to speak in case he wakes up to find that this is a dream. Jen assures him that this isn't a dream. and they head out. Henry presents her with a rose and tells her that he wants their night to be perfect. She pricks her finger and Henry freaks out.

Nah, not really but wouldn't that have been hilarious?

Jen says she's fine and insists it's just a flesh wound.

She said it, I couldn't not make this reference

The gang have paired off to drive around the golf course in search of the party, and of course Pacey and Joey are riding together, as it should be. Joey chastises Pacey for being obvious about pushing Dawson onto Kate. Pacey accuses her of being jealous but Joey claims she's just worried about Dawson. Pacey says he is too, which is why he's trying to get Dawson to let loose. Joey wants to know why having fun has to include going to parties and meeting new people. I don't know what to say to that.

Andie is paired with Jack and is trying to encourage him to tell Kate that he is gay. Jack doesn't want to because he doesn't want to give her a complex, since her last boyfriend was also gay. He says he doesn't want to hurt her all over again which is pretty reasonable but Andie scoffs at this and tells Jack to get over himself.

I don't know. I'm confused about this myself because she was
also freaking out about upsetting Kate not two seconds ago.

Kate is being a complete emotional wreck and basically the worst date ever as she goes on and on about her ex being gay and asks Dawson if he thinks she's beautiful. She also asks if there is anything wrong with her, since her ex called her an acquired taste. Girl, sounds like there was something seriously wrong with your ex. Who tells someone that? Then again, with the way she's acting right now...maybe the ex was right to say it? Because I have second hand embarrassment for how annoying she's being.

The gang meet up and they tell us that the party is straight ahead. So...why the need to split up? Oh, right. Conflict. They head over and the eponymous Matt Caulfield himself greets them. He asks why they are there if they didn't get an invite but before they can scamper off with their tails between their legs, he throws them a bone and asks if they know the password. Dawson obliges by quoting Keanu and looks just about as bland saying it.

Uncanny. Dawson could be the next Neo

They are allowed into the party on one condition, they must all have a shot. I love how the show presents this as the most dangerous, serious thing that Matt could ask them to do. It's one shot, people, and you're acting like your trapped in Jonestown and he's telling you to drink the Kool-aid. They act like this is serious shit but Andie and Joey both turn the shots down and Matt is cool with it and lets them stay so, I don't see the big deal here. Joey freaks when Matt offers the drink to Dawson because it's "not him" to drink. Pacey rightfully tells her to mind her business and let Dawson make his own decisions. Dawson gets mad as Pacey and Joey bicker over whether or not Dawson should drink and he decides to take the shot. Good for you, Dawson. Even though the show would have you believe that this is serious business and that Dawson is now evil or less innocent or something bad.

You had ONE shot? How could you!?

Jen and Henry are at the restaurant and Jen nervously tries to make small talk while Henry pretends that he isn't about to faint due to lack of blood. Jen notices that Henry is out of it and asks if she's boring him but he claims he's just resting his eyes. Jen jokes that Henry should just feel free to rest his head on the table and go to sleep. Cue Henry passing out.

Joey is complaining about Pacey to Andie who just laughs her off and tells her that she sounds like she did before she started dating Pacey. Joey looks incredulous to the idea but we all know what's coming and we all know she's gonna love it. Just as I predicted, Doug is doing his patrol of the golf course and pulls them over.

Dawson nervously talks to Kate who proceeds to be even more annoying than she was before by repeating everything he says and then pointing out how annoying it is that she's doing it. Yes, Kate, you are annoying and you are making me very happy that you are just a one off character. Anyway, Dawson asks her to go for a walk with her and she agrees.

Yes, yes it is, Kate

As Henry is being wheeled to an ambulance he gives Jen the present he wanted to get her which is a Hungarian Red ring. Jen tries it on but it doesn't fit and Henry starts spazzing out about how he's ruined everything. It was all supposed to be perfect, dammit!

Blah! I'll donate your blood next time!

Dawson is trying to get with Kate because...hormones and she's pretty but certainly not for her personality. She continues to annoy the pants off me. He whines about the fact that she thinks he's a nice guy and she tells him that if he doesn't want to be a nice guy he should just stop talking about kissing her and just do it. Ugh. Just ugh with these two. Dawson gets all excited at the prospect that it is this easy and they go to kiss. Kate then pauses, politely tells him to hold the impulse, walks a little ways away, delicately bends over, and upchucks all over the ground. I've got to say, her body is very polite to her to give her so much warning. If I had been in her shoes, puke would have just shot out of my mouth and into Dawson's face...probably because Dawson was about to kiss me and not because I was drunk.

Sorry, Dawson. No girls want you

Jen complains to her Grams about how awful her date was but Grams just brushes off her concerns by saying that they'll have something to laugh about on their second date. I don't know, some dates can be so disastrous that you don't want a second date. I mean, how many times does Jen have to tell Henry not to try so hard before he'll get the point? I'd be a bit put off by his crazed ranting about how everything had to be perfect too because that's a lot of pressure to put on someone. Put yourself in Jen's shoes, would you enjoy a guy obsessing over how perfect everything had to be because you're just so perfect? Maybe the first time, maybe the second time, but then you start to feel like you have to make sure you keep being perfect for that person because they have put you up on this pedestal that is impossible for a regular person to live up to. I don't know, that doesn't sound fun to me. Grams suggests that maybe Henry did everything he did because he thought that's what she wanted him to be and Jen gets all ponderous. I call bullshit because she told him just last episode that he didn't have to try so hard and to stop doing grand gestures. Hang on, I'll even post the quote here. From Episode 313 - Northern Lights:

Jen: It's just that you've got to stop it with these grand gestures, these larger-than-life public declarations. I- You're like the Christo of teenage crushes.

Henry: Who's Christo?

Jen: He's kinda like a sculptor, he does these really large-- nevermind. It's just that you don't have to try so hard.

I've underlined the relevant text to point out the utter bullcrap the writers are trying to throw my way in regards to Henry and Jen's relationship. They keep trying to make out like Jen expects so much from Henry and poor innocent Henry just has to try so hard to get her attention but it's not her fault that he does these things. She has never asked him to, she has always plainly told him that she's not in to his over bearing crush on her and the fact that everyone is trying to make out like Jen isn't being clear with Henry or giving him enough of a chance is really grating on my nerves.

Meanwhile, Deputy Doug breaks up the rest of the party and finds Pacey hanging upside down, waiting for beer to be poured down his throat...or having just done it more probably as he doesn't clue in to the fact that everyone up and ran off and asks if he "did it wrong"

Through sheer contrivance, the only people Doug has managed to catch are the Creek gang. I'm not even sure how he caught Dawson and Kate who had walked away from the party but whatever, they are all here. Kate continues to annoy me by crowing on about how much fun this is and how totally not over her ex she is. Seriously guys, she's like so over him, for reals. Jack thinks that this is now the best opportunity to tell her his sexual orientation and she takes it...better than I thought she would. She comments that he was good at sex which he rightfully points out has no bearing on his sexual orientation and then she rounds on Dawson and asks if he's gay which is pretty hilarious.

Why do people keep asking me that? Is it because I have that framed
picture of Steven Spielberg next to my bed?

Kate asks if he's sure and then blurts out that apparently only gay guys will kiss her, even though she and Dawson didn't kiss because she was busy up chucking but really, she only said this so that Joey could then pick a fight with Dawson. Joey is incredulous that he kissed Kate, which makes Kate acknowledge that they didn't actually kiss because she vomited. Joey doesn't care and asks Dawson what the hell he was thinking. You know, if I were Kate, I'd probably despise Joey right about now. Like seriously, you be the girl that a guy tried to kiss and then listen to another chick question the guy's judgement because of it. Not cool. As annoying as Kate was, I still kind of felt bad for her in that moment.

Joey and Dawson argue until Pacey calls them out for being annoying (preach), then Joey and Pacey argue and Joey gets upset over how mean Pacey is being. The argument between Pacey and Joey is so much better because there feels like there is actual weight there. Joey actually looks hurt at the things Pacey says and while Pacey is frustrated, he also feels bad about hurting her but then can't seem to stop. He then says this:

Pacey: You didn’t do anything to deserve this. The drunken lout in the corner just pleads sheer frustration. I mean, honestly, do you have any idea how exhausting it is to exist on your periphery? To witness this perpetual dance that you two have – one week you’re soul mates, the next week you’re giving each other up for the greater good. I mean, do you think it’s possible that sometime soon you could make up your mind? Please? And the reverence that you two treat this little saga of yours with, is enough to make a guy wanna puke.

Have I mentioned how much I love Pacey? Because I do. He basically just vocalized how I feel about every couple on tv that goes on and on about how they're soul mates  while also having to break up constantly because reasons but they are still totally in lurve! Make up your damn minds! Anyway, Pacey of course pukes after saying puke because comedy or something.

I feel even worse for Pacey when Doug comes to let everyone out, except for him. Apparently, their father wants Pacey to stay in a cell all night as a punishment. Really? Mr. Witter was apparently very bitter that he lost that Worst Parent in Capeside award to Mr. McPhee. I could kind of see a parent making this decision if their child was constantly getting in trouble but from everything I've seen, Pacey is a pretty good kid. You don't let your kid languish in a jail cell all night for going to a stupid party.Or maybe I'm just naïve, I don't know, it just feels wrong.

I want to give him all the hugs!

Jen goes to the hospital and apologizes to Henry for not telling him that she was more nervous about the date than she let on which is just stupid because she shouldn't have to apologize. She tells him that she was nervous because back in New York, Valentine's was the day that the guys she was with would take out the girl they really liked and Henry interrupts that he doesn't believe that for a second which is just insulting. Dude, she's telling you something extremely painful, something that obviously hurt her, shut up and listen and stop making her out to be this perfect thing. She's a person, a person with experiences, who makes mistakes, and who has been hurt, way worse than you ever have so just shut up and stop trying to make her perfect because she's not. No one is. Accept her for who she is and then she can maybe start accepting you for who you are. End of. Although, she does say she wants to keep the ring he gave her so...I guess she likes some grand gestures.

Jack asks Kate if she's ok and she actually manages not to annoy me in this scene. She says that she's kind of cool with him being gay because it lets her off the hook because their relationship ending was not her fault and nothing either of them can change. And before you think she meant that it was Jack's fault for being gay, she quickly tells him that he isn't to blame either. He says he knows and she asks if he does know because he seemed ashamed to tell her he was gay. Jack admits that he didn't want to hurt her because when they were dating, something had always felt a bit off and that his feelings were wrong. He felt that he would be disappointing her by telling her that. Kate has this to say:

Kate: In a million years, you could never disappoint me, Jack. Gay or straight, you’re a world-class human being. That’s why I wanted to see you – you take me back to this nice, safe place, where crushes never end and hearts can’t be broken. And I needed that this weekend.

Thank you for leaving this show on a positive note, Kate because you've annoyed me from the first moment you called Jack, "Jackers." They hug and it's nice.

This next scene is between Dawson and Mitch and I have pretty much zero interest in it. Basically, Mitch is pissed because Dawson has been acting like a tool this season, wrecking his boat, throwing huge parties with strippers at their house, ending up in the police drunk tank, etc.. Dawson tries the idiotic excuse of "I'm young, I'm supposed to screw up." which is true, in a sense, but has gotten to the point of being an excuse to be the biggest assholes you can be just because you are young. That is wrong and I'm tired of people using age as an excuse to be a shitty human being. Being young and making mistakes is fine, when they're your mistakes and don't endanger anyone else. You can't do whatever the fuck you want, when you know the consequences (and don't tell me that kids, even those as young as 10, don't understand what is right and what is wrong), and then get out of trouble just because you are young. That is bullshit. Mitch agrees and tells Dawson that if he wants to start acting like a kid, then he will start acting like a parent. He punishes Dawson by requiring him to help out at the restaurant Gail bought every day after school and on weekends until he starts learning responsibility.

Sucks to be you

Back at the jail, Doug surprises me by clueing into the fact that Pacey is acting out because he's bothered by something and asks Pacey if he wants to talk about it. Pacey says he doesn't but then starts talking because he clearly needs someone to talk to and he can't talk to Dawson. The show means that it's because he has a crush on Dawson's ex but in my head cannon, it's because Pacey has finally realized that Dawson is a shitty friend, who is usually incapable of listening to anyone else's problems. Anyway, he tells Doug about the girl he likes, without saying it's Joey, and mentions that she gives him butterflies. Doug tells him to never lose the butterflies and says that's what sucks most about getting older.

To go off on a bit of a tangent, I don't think losing the butterflies is what sucks most about getting older, there's things like chores and bills and crap that rate worse for me, but I will admit that it does suck to lose that feeling. It's funny that the thought never crossed my mind until I saw this episode again and I realized that Doug is absolutely right. Somewhere along the line, you do lose that ability and it was just the best feeling when you looked at that right person and they made you so happy that you just got that fluttery feeling in your stomach. I was lucky enough to marry the last person that gave me those feelings and even though I am still attracted to him, I still love him, and he still makes me happy, I have not experienced the butterflies in a while. I think because with time, comes comfort and security and the butterflies come from a place of nervousness and the unknown. So, while I miss the feeling, it's not like good doesn't come from losing it so it definitely doesn't suck the most about getting older. But I digress...

Back to the prison. Doug asks Pacey what he's going to do about his crush and Pacey goes all doom and gloom about how it can never be. Doug tells Pacey that there aren't a lot of people in the world with the ability to give you butterflies (very true) and that Pacey should tell this person how they feels or he will regret it for the rest of his life. Pacey then thanks his brother for the advice.

It's super sweet and I didn't think the writers were capable of writing a
moment like this between the Witter brothers. It was a nice
break from all the tired gay jokes.

The next morning, Pacey goes straight to Joey's house to apologize to her about his behaviour. Joey admits that she was worried about him too. The look Pacey gets on his face when she admits this is the absolute cutest face. He then gets all ready to tell her that he likes her but backs out at the last second to tell her about what she's doing wrong with driving stick and I want to be angry at them prolonging this, I just can't because this is just the cutest thing ever. The way Joey just smiles at him and asks him if he wants to show her now, and then Pacey smiles and says "yes." Then they show them in her truck and he succeeds where Dawson failed to show her how to shift gears. Then she gets super excited about the fact that she succeeded and it's just all adorable and the ending to this episode has to be one of my favourites so far because they ended on this adorableness.

Awwww

Congrats Pacey. You are the only male on this show to earn the
Lloyd Dobbler Seal of Approval.

So that was Valentine's Day Massacre and I have no clue why it was called that as no one was killed in this episode, though I half expected Henry too when he was spazzing about everything having to be perfect. I'm also getting really pumped because we are getting so close to Pacey and Joey happening that I just can't even contain myself.

Pictured, Blinvy

Stay tuned for the next episode, Crime and Punishment in which Joey paints a mural that gets vandalized and Pacey seeks vengeance on the person responsible because he's awesome. Dawson does something too but who cares, it's Dawson.

The Glee Re-Watch begins...and other blog news

Alright, so I've been thinking as I am recapping Dawson's Creek and noticing all of it's flaws and perhaps, dated ideologies about love and women, and men, and gays, and...everything, that I would take a look at a current show and see how well it is dealing with many of the same issues but with a fresh perspective. Dawson's Creek aired 10 years ago so, how are we doing today? Have writers learned from past mistakes? Has continuity improved now that we've moved past the archaic and out-dated notion that you absolutely must be home at 7pm on a Tuesday night on the night that a new episode is airing and are able to view episodes whenever the fuck we feel like it?

Well, all that and more will be answered during the big Glee Re-Watch spectacular. I was going to get started straight away and just launch into the recaps but because I know I have certain feelings towards a character, I thought I should make this post to address the elephant in the room.

I need to, my house just isn't that big, guys

So, I am just going to come right out and say it. I don't really like Finn as a character. Actually, I liked him fine, in fact I liked all of the characters early on, flaws and all, but later on they all go through their periods of just being loathsome and I'm going to call them out on it. That being said, given the fact that the actor who played Finn tragically passed away before the end of the show I just wanted to stress that while I may say some negative things about Finn as a character, I do not mean any disrespect to Cory Monteith or his family in any way. So, regardless of how I feel about Finn, that does not reflect how I feel about Cory which is not really much of anything because I didn't know the guy. I'm sure that he was a very nice person though and again, I mean no disrespect when I criticize the show or the character he played.

With that out of the way, I can't wait to get started on the recapping goodness. I've already re-watched the pilot episode and my god, I almost cried because I forgot how great it was back then. It is such a different show now but I guess I'll get to that when I get to it.

In other news, the next Dawson recap is almost done and ready to be posted as well as some very special Valentine's posts that hopefully will just lead to fun discussions rather than my untimely death because lets just say, I've got some unpopular opinions. Stay tuned for my Top Ten Worst Couples and my Top Ten Best Couples which will be coming out next month. Until then, here is a cute and innocent kitteh:

Please don't kill me?

Dawson's Creek - 313 - Northern Lights

Original air date: January 26, 2000

Well, the last time we left off, the gang came together to help out Joey with her sister's B&B. Only hers, Bessie who? Anyway, this week Andie's play is debuting with Pacey as the star. Will the gang band together to support them? Probably not but let's find out, shall we?

We open the episode at Joey's house again. So, is Joey's house the new Dawson's house for openers this season? I am not really objecting to this because it means less Dawson. Also, only Joey and Pacey are in this scene so this episode is looking up already. They are practicing for Pacey's big play and it's sweet that Joey is helping him out. She stops wanting to help when they get to a lovey dovey scene in the play. Pacey protests because he doesn't know his lines yet and Joey says this:

Joey: Sorry, Master Thespian, but the whole next page consists solely of cooing, tickling and lap-sitting -- three things definitely not in my range as an actress.

This is an extremely accurate assessment of Katie's acting talents on this show as well. She normally only excels at surly, snarky, and petulant. Thankfully, the charisma of Joshua Jackson brings out the niceness in her otherwise I probably wouldn't have been sold on Joey and Pacey.

Joey mentions that she can't go to his opening show and Pacey looks crushed which gives me feels because no one should crush Pacey like that. She explains that she's going out to a party to see the northern lights with AJ, the annoying jerk she met at college tours who magically became not jerky because Joey is awesome or something. I really don't get the appeal, especially when she has Pacey like right there but whatever. Pacey protests and claims that "college guy" is just making up the fact that you might be able to see the Northern Lights in Capeside to get into her pants. Or as he referred to them as "Potter pantaloons."

I love alliteration, sue me. And how do you not giggle at the word "pantaloon?"

Joey rudely says that she'd rather take her chances on stupid AJ and his northern lights party then go support her friend on his opening night because she's kind of a shitty friend sometimes. On top of that, you usually have to wait until really late to see the Northern Lights, so why can't she see his play and then go to the party? Right, because the writers need conflict in any way they can manufacture it.

The next day, Dawson asks Joey what she thinks about his decision to drop film class even though he had to beg and grovel his way in. Joey tells him he'll be bored in study hall which is even dumber because he dropped a class that would help him in his career, not to broaden his horizons but to sit around in what is essentially a spare period. Is study hall an actual thing in American schools? We just had spares where you could go to the library and study or you could do literally anything else that's more fun, like hang out and play games in the cafeteria. We were never forced to sit in a class and study. That seems stupid. Kendra, the Film dream Slayer, walks up to them and calls Dawson insane for dropping film class. Joey cuts out so that Kendra can yell at Dawson some more.

Well, this is awkward

Kendra asks Dawson what's up and if his weird behaviour has anything to do with the film festival. I don't get why she thinks that because he stayed in film class after the festival, he dropped it after their conversation where she said that if your only interest is movies, then you'll end up making movies about movies. Dawson claims he just needs to recharge his batteries but it sounds like he's just quitting to me. You can find other interests while still keeping up with your main passion, Dawson.

She berates him for not giving her a heads up which I was going to find weird until she drops the bombshell that apparently, they were partners in film class and they have to pitch a feature length film  in their class together. I've said this a thousand times already but I'll say it again, Dawson is a douche! Way to leave her in the lurch, asshole. His response is basically a snide comment about how their teacher will probably get her an extension and another partner anyway and that she probably has the assignment finished anyway. She does but he's still a douche for just assuming she'd be ok with being ditched to do the project by herself, and the pitch is in front of the class. I hate public speaking so if I was ditched last minute to do an oral presentation by myself, I'd be super pissed. Dawson shows some insight by saying he doesn't have any ideas for the project anyway but Kendra ruins it by saying this:

Can people stop going on about how creative and original
Dawson is when he clearly isn't?

Oh, fuck you!

At play rehearsal, Pacey is having trouble remembering his lines and Andie is freaking out because Mr. Broderick is a no show. Jack comes in and takes Andie away to show her that Mr. Broderick is in the nurse's office with a possible case of kidney stones. He asks Andie to take over for him but she freaks out that she can't do everything by herself. Jack volunteers to help and Mr. Broderick passes his director's binder to her, telling her it's been her show all along. He then says this:

Mr. Broderick: It's yours now. And as the house lights fall over that magic place we call the theater, all I ask is that you give pause for a fleeting moment... and think of me.

Jack's reaction to this line is priceless

Jen is trying to catch up with Henry who is literally running away from her which is weird because I thought that they were friends now and he seemed totally cool last episode. As it turns out, he's avoiding her because he thinks she's trying to cancel dinner with him. Jen says she isn't but that she does need to postpone their dinner because she wants to support Pacey on his opening night. See? Jen is a much better friend than Jeoy, she's actually willing to change her plans to support Pacey. But in the show's universe, her doing this is bad because it means she's avoiding Henry. This is Dawson's Creek, where the only relationships that matter are boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. Le sigh. Henry claims to be ok with the play thing and asks to go with her so that could be their date instead. Jen reluctantly agrees.

Bessie is trying to get Joey ready for her date and comes at her with an eyelash curler.

I like Joey this season, she's actually funny

Pacey arrives at the Potter's because he is freaking out about his bad read through. I barely hear their conversation because I was too busy aww'ing about the fact that when Pacey is stressed, he goes to Joey for help and she immediately tries to calm him down. She apologizes and says she sucks for not being there for him for his opening show. Pacey agrees that she sucks but tells her that she can get back into his good books if she agrees to attend the after party, he also points out that she'll probably need a shoulder to cry on anyway because the Northern Lights thing won't pan out which sounds awful but somehow Pacey makes it adorable and Joey (and I) chuckle a bit and agrees to try and make it to his party. Bessie comes into the room to announce AJ's arrival and this happens:

Awww, poor Bessie...I still laughed though

Pacey begs Joey to reconsider and bail on AJ and it breaks my heart because it's obvious to the viewer that Pacey likes her and we want to see him with her. He then warns her that the first thing AJ will do is pay her a lame compliment about how incredible she looks and it's a testament to how good an actor Joshua is that he can go from spouting diatribe about what a player AJ is and then flip to absolute honesty when he pays Joey the compliment. Anyway, he continues listen things that AJ will probably do, such as help her put her coat on and take the first opportunity he can at the party to get her alone. AJ arrives and indeed pays Joey a compliment and helps her put her coat on.

Can we skip AJ and just get right to these two making out?

At the party, AJ baffles me by first offering Joey a drink and then taking it away because it's alcoholic. I think the writers were going for him being gallant for not trying to get underage Joey drunk but then why the hell did he offer the drink to her in the first place? When the sky clouds over and the rest of the party starts to head inside, Joey wants to follow suit but AJ, as Pacey predicted, asks her to go for a walk with him. Joey looks a bit hesitant but she agrees.

Dawson arrives at the school to see Pacey's play when he's approached by Andie asking where Pacey is. She freaks out when Dawson says he doesn't know so he offers to go look for him.

He finds Pacey playing basketball in the gym, where he's clearly upset about Joey going out with another guy and missing his first night performing. Dawson, of course, thinks it's just nerves about the play. To his credit, Dawson is actually really supportive this scene. This just proves that Dawson and Joey are better apart. The last time he was apart from Joey, he became a better friend too, this is becoming a trend. He also spins the basketball on his finger which is pretty impressive.

Hang on, is he flipping us off?

Pacey chides Dawson for giving up his own dreams and what made him happy just to sit around in study hall with the unmotivated students. Coming from Pacey, that is saying a lot about how wasteful study hall is. Dawson claims he's just spreading his happiness around, instead of focusing it on one thing, which is stupid because he's not exploring another hobby, he's just sitting around like a lump during a free period. Pacey wonders how Dawson can be so chill when Joey is on a date with a college guy but Dawson is pretty low key about it. He says that it had to happen some time and motions for Pacey to go and get ready for his play.

Henry is looking around the auditorium and Jen waves him to the seats she's saved. Henry says that they were supposed to meet out front but Jen claims that she thought whoever got there first had to save seats. She also invited Grams along.

Awwwwwkwaaaaaarrrrrrrd

Pacey arrives backstage and tries to tell Andie to send out his understudy. She won't hear it and sends him out anyway. Pacey freezes on stage for a moment but he soon breaks out into the dialogue and has the audience laughing. In the good way, not in the "this guy is a disaster" way. Andie is thrilled that her play is going well.

On their walk, AJ and Joey share an extremely forced and awkward conversation where at one point, he brings up her dead mother as a possible reason why she's so driven. Thanks, bud. It sure gets a lot of girls in the mood when you talk about how their mother's death causes them to be focused on work. Smooth.

Talking about your dead mother gets me so in the mood, don't ya know?

He then starts talking about how sexy it is that charged particles are drawn to the Earth's atmosphere to create the northern lights (I'm not joking, this is pretty much his come on line) and they kiss. Then Joey gets super awkward and says she has to meet someone. They both go.

The play has gone off without a hitch and at the party, Jack gives Andie a bouquet and congratulates her and it's super sweet. Jen congratulates her too and she also tries to avoid the awkwardness of her situation with Henry and Grams. When Jen is left alone with her supposed date and her grandmother, she quickly bails to talk to Pacey.

Jen congratulates him on his performance and it's revealed that no one in his family showed up to see it. Pacey's family is the worst and I have so many feels for him after that line. Jen also points out that Joey is not in attendance and Pacey pretends like it doesn't bug him. Joey of course shows up behind them to ask who they are talking about but of course, Pacey and Jen don't say.

Kendra approaches Dawson at the party and asks him why he dropped film. He tells her that he dropped it when she told him about being passionate about more than just one thing. He then tells a story about when he was little and seeing Jurassic Park in theatres. About how these teenagers were making out and kid Dawson couldn't comprehend why they'd rather kiss than watch the movie and I've actually got a soft spot for Dawson on this one because I was definitely that kid who was completely enraptured by movies. Anyway, Dawson says that he's not the kid that brings dates to movies to make out but he's not the little kid he once was anymore, but something in-between where he overanalyzes everything to the point of not enjoying anything. Accurate thought is accurate, Dawson.

Joey tries to congratulate Pacey on his performance that she's heard was great but Pacey wants to talk about her date with College Guy. Joey babbles about how the sky had clouded over and some big technical terms about not being able to see the northern lights and Pacey correctly guesses that AJ kissed her. Joey says that she's not sure that she'll see AJ again anyway because he's just so much more sophisticated than her  and other stuff. Pacey assumes that she's still hung up on Dawson but Joey says that she doesn't know if she'll feel the way about someone else that she used to feel about Dawson, indicating that she is over him. We all know she'll find someone way better than Dawson, very soon. Unfortunately for now, that person is AJ. Pacey points him out to Joey and tells her to go to him.

Aww, don't give Pacey a sad, Joey

Meanwhile, Henry has somehow got himself up in the rafters because it's what Pacey's character did in the play (the play in question is Barefoot in the Park which I've never seen and have no clue about the context of this scene). Anyway, Henry is up in the rafters and has decided that the best way to win a girl's heart is to embarrass her in front of a bunch of students, teachers, and parents by forcing her to repeat what he says or he refuses to get down. It's a stupid scene and I get it's supposed to be cute but I actually think it's a bit questionable. I think it's because the dynamic between Jen and Henry is that Jen has been shown to not be interested in Henry but Henry keeps persisting and trying to wear her down into dating him or guilting her into dating him and it makes me uncomfortable.

Plus, you know he's going to murder her anyway

Joey and AJ talk and he asks her if he did something wrong. Joey says he didn't and apologizes for running off on him because she was scared. He wants to go out with her again and she agrees but not before they talk a bit more about the northern lights. AJ mentions that he's seen them before and since it looks like they won't be seeing them, Joey asks him to describe them to her. He does and Joey says that they sound scary. I've heard lots of words to describe the northern lights before, beautiful, gorgeous, colourful, mesmerizing, breathtaking, for instance. I've got to say, I have never heard them referred to as "scary" before. That's a new one.

Super scary amirite?

Jack is helping Andie to clean up and mentions that he's sorry that their father wasn't there. Jesus, are none of these kids parents proud of them? It's like Mr. McPhee got wind of the fact that Pacey's entire family didn't show up to the play and felt that his title of Worst Parent in Capeside Forever was being challenged and skipped it too. Don't worry, guys, you all suck equally. Anyway, Jack congratulates her and asks if she's ok. He then points her towards Pacey and she decides to go talk to him.

She talks to Pacey and sympathizes with his parents not showing up. She then does something completely remarkable. When Pacey asks if she's disappointed in him returning to academic mediocrity, she tells him how not disappointed she is and admits that she tried to spruce him up. Then this:

Andie: But, uh, thing is, Pacey, I was wrong. There was never anything about you that needed fixing up. And there never was and there never will be, cuz you're perfect as is.

Amen, sister. Also, thank you writers, for actually making her liable for once this season. They had gone out of their way to just make her utterly horrible this season so far so it's nice to see her admitting to the flaw in their relationship and telling Pacey that he is fine just the way he is. Pacey learned his lesson about his hero complex last season so it's only fitting that Andie acknowledges her need to make everything and everyone around her perfect to fit the perfect life she pictures for herself. Kudos, writers.

Finally, some nice closure for these two

Henry and Jen talk and she tells him to stop it with the grand romantic gestures. She doesn't want him to try so hard. He agrees but I'm sure he'll forget by next episode and still act like an idiot. There is an art to grand gestures, Henry, and Lloyd Dobbler you aren't. Anyway, somehow this turns into Jen liking him again and they kiss.

We end the episode with a scene between Dawson and Joey which utterly bores me because I'm just not into these two. #sorrynotsorry Anyway, Dawson explains that he needed to see her because he felt lost and she asks him what he thought would happen when he dropped the class that was his one passion. Dawson says he didn't think, he just did. Then he notices the northern lights and Joey is irritated that she was waiting the whole night to see them but ended up only seeing them with Dawson.

Ah, his pain is my joy

I'm happy with stopping there because I find it hilarious that Joey outright tells Dawson that she didn't want to see the northern lights with him, despite the fact that the show was trying to go with a "she saw them with Dawson because they are soulmates" thing. We all know that's a lie by now so, I like my ending better. That was Northern Lights.

Stay tuned for the next episode where Henry does more stupid and over the top shit to convince Jen to like him, and the rest of the gang go to some stupid party. Oh, and Jack's ex, the one he had sex with, comes to town. Should be interesting, so stay tuned for Valentine's Day Massacre.