Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Dawson's Creek - 102 - Dance

Original air date: January 27, 1998

Last time on Dawson's Creek, Dawson gets a crush on girl next door, Jen, Joey acts like a bitch because she secretly likes Dawson, Pacey gets kissed by his school teacher Ms. Jacobs, Dawson's Mom is having an affair, despite being married to "Mr. Man Meat" and Dawson masturbates to Katie Couric in the morning.

I'm never going to get tired of this picture. Never

Riveting stuff. The drama continues as Dawson and Joey review footage of Dawson's awesome film. Joey laments having to kiss Pacey because he's so "unkissworthy" Oh Joey, you will eat those words eventually. Mark my words. Dawson tells her she has to because he's trying to make a love story to which Joey retorts that he's making a horror movie and that Dawson should kiss him. Well that would definitely make for a more interesting story but Dawson refuses, saying that his lips are reserved for someone else.

If she's so grossed out, I'll volunteer to kiss him.

Being the ever present bitch where Jen is concerned, Joey starts putting it in Dawson's head that he should kiss her soon because she's from New York and they move fast there. Dawson is unfazed and says "There is no need to rush fate."

Dawson: Joey, you heard her yourself. Through her own admittance, she's a self-proclaimed virgin.
Joey: For another second!
Dawson: Jen happens to be a bright, intelligent young woman who clearly is in charge of her own body.

You remember what you said there, Dawson. She is in charge of her own body. Just putting that out there. Anyway, Joey tells Dawson that she's not talking leather straps and Crisco, just a kiss; which Dawson ignores for a second by claiming that Joey should kiss Pacey because she has kissable lips. Then he shows her that he means the creepy fake Joey head he's been working on which looks like it could be a sex doll head minus the open mouth:

Look at that thing and tell me it's not a sex doll head.

Then, Dawson snaps out of it and comes out with "Explain to me the Crisco." *drum beat* Cue theme song!

Back at Capeside High, everyone is preparing for the school dance while Dawson attempts to con his way into Mr. Gold's film class. He uses the excuse of Study Hall being crammed and the Principal saying it would be ok to sit in on Mr. Gold's fifth period class, which is film class. For some reason, Mr. Gold agrees even though his class is full too so I fail to see how this was a solution to Dawson's problem. I guess it's ok because he's not actually a part of the class and therefore won't be an extra paper/project to grade but I digress. Dawson got into the class, basically.

Meanwhile, in statutory rape class...

Pacey awaits Ms. Jacobs' arrival by sitting at her desk. He confronts her about their kiss. In front of a classroom that is filling with students. Even going so far as to say "your tongue was in my mouth. You're not being fair" before leaving sulkily. I'm sorry but if I was a bored teenager and I saw a teacher and student having a heated discussion by her desk, I'm eavesdropping. And you better bet I would overhear that part and that I would be telling my friends about it. You would do it to, don't deny it. Somehow this goes unnoticed though and Ms. Jacobs starts her class.

Uhhh, guys? I can hear everything you're saying.

Lunchtime comes around and Dawson laments the fact that his film class will not be able to help out with his awesomely superior film and tells Joey she better kiss Pacey. She protests some more and Pacey tells her to get over herself because he's not "engorged" with the idea either. Then, Dawson gets a revelation. He's going to kill Joey off sooner a la Janet Leigh in Psycho so that she doesn't have to do the kiss. Do you know what this means? The clip of Psycho shown in the last episode was FORESHADOWING!


Dawson explains that they'll kill Joey off, bring in Jen as the cousin from New York and Bob's your uncle. Jen protests a bit because he never fucking asked her if she wanted to be in the movie but he steamrolls over her saying it will be perfect. Joey is mighty pleased with this development, especially when Dawson says that she'll get to work behind the camera with him "where she belongs" Cue smug look at Jen:

I win.

Ms. Jacobs continues to give hints to Pacey to back off during class as they are discussing Wuthering Heights. She says that "the reality is, that Heathcliff and Catherine never belonged together. They never should have been together. Catherine was essentially a mess, Heathcliff was basically a decent guy who had a lot to learn about life and was inherently better off without some whimpering, mentally unstable wet rag following him around."

Mentally unstable wet rag pictured here^

The class stares at her in shock as if this is a dark and unheard of view on the story but it's totally true. Wuthering Heights is not romantic. It is the story of two people who were so utterly wrong for each other that they destroyed both themselves and other people around them. I thought Twilight was to blame for everyone thinking Wuthering Heights is super romantic but apparently, people have always been this blinded, like how most people forget that Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy.

My teen views on romance have been crushed.

Meanwhile, in film class, Dawson learns he has some competition in the film festival and in love with the introduction of high school football star, Cliff.

I have no idea what I'm doing here.

Cliff wants to make a movie about a football player who defies all odds and wins his school the football championship which sounds an awful lot like Abe's film in Clone High:

Minus the giraffe...and the spaceship.

Since Dawson is the epitome of meaningful filmmaking, he is of course against this and looks down his nose at their "pedestrian" sports film. This coming from the kid who is making a pedestrian creature feature, do I need to introduce you to the kettle, Dawson? I also don't get how he views them as competition while at the same time saying their film will be shit anyways.

Pffft, sports movies are so pedestrian, why can't they
make art like me and my horror movie?

To make matters worse, Cliff totally macks on Jen in front of Dawson.

What's up with Cliff stealing Jen away from you?
You should drown his ass in the creek and shit.

Dawson wants to start work on his film again and asks his father for the camera. After Mr. Man Meat spells out to his son that he used the camcorder to film himself and his mother having sex, Dawson takes this opportunity to ask his dad for advice on kissing. What ensues was the most awkward thing I've ever had to watch, where Mr. Man Meat tells Dawson to practice kissing the Joey sex doll head

I wish you were a real girl.

while he watches with way too much enthusiasm

I can't wait to show him how to fuck.

and Joey watches from the balcony while pretending Dawson is actually kissing her.

Oh Dawson, I want to be your sex doll.

Joey then catches Dawson's mom in the closet, whispering on the phone. Joey mentions that she is there to see Dawson. His mom thinks she's gotten away with it but then Joey throws down that she knows before leaving.

Mrs. Leary? You're a greedy skank.

I like Joey in that moment. Fuck you, Mrs. Leary. You've got Mr. Man Meat who is still all over you and reminisces about first kisses and romance when, let's face it, the average guy can barely remember a wedding anniversary and you cheat on him? You are a selfish bitch.

Oh shit.

Moving on to filming, Joey's sex doll head gets killed off in an incredibly fake way but it's realistic for a grade 10 student's production so points for realism. Joey goes to get out of her now bloodied clothes and Jen goes over to help her out. Jen compliments Joey on her body and like a total teenager, Joey complains that she's too tall. So Jen tries to bond by letting Joey in on the secret that everyone is self conscious about their bodies.

The begining of Jen/Joey slash fiction?
Jen: No, you're not at all. You're commanding. Hey, come on, I wish I had your stature and your long legs. My body's a mess. I'm too short, my hips do this weird thing and my face is shaped like a duck. Oh, and I hate my breasts.
Joey is shocked that evil bitch Jen has insecurities just like her and actually pays her a compliment by saying that she doesn't look like a duck. Jen tells her that it's the nicest thing Joey has said to her since they met and Joey looks almost upset with herself that she paid an evil blonde a compliment. Then Jen tells Joey that she plans to make it hard for her not to like her. Dawson gets jealous when Pacey gets too enthusiastic with his kiss with Jen. Dawson acts like a cry baby and cuts the kiss from the movie because he knows he will never kiss Jen better than Pacey just did.

Pacey's got the mad mack skills. Deal with it, Dawson.

They wrap for the day and Dawson tells Jen that he got a bunch of dance themed movies for them to watch together in lieu of actually going to the school dance. Jen declines his thrilling offer, saying that she's actually going to go to the dance, with Cliff. Dawson is hurt and Jen tries to make him feel better by telling him to drop by so that they can dance together but Dawson says that he "has a date with Travolta. I wouldn't want to disappoint him." which is possibly the most panty drying sentence ever uttered.

Dawson then whines to Joey about the fact that Jen is at the dance with Cliff and I do sympathize with her in this scene because if I had to listen to my friend whine about something so stupid, my head would explode. Plus, she totally zings him during his whine session which is something I would do.
Dawson: I don't get it! I don't get it, what did he do that I didn't do?   Joey: He asked her out!


It's true though, he never asked her out. He doesn't have a claim on her because he talked to her first. He actually has to ask her out. He decides to rectify the situation by crashing the dance and persuades Joey to go with him for support.

Mrs. Leary is heading out for some extra-marital lovin' and Joey tries to convince her to not go by lecturing at her and what she is saying is so true and so mature about actions affecting other people that it is weird seeing a "teen" preach this to an adult. Dawson is still in the dark about it and they head off to the dance while Mrs. Leary is left to think about her life choices.

I just got lectured by a teenager. Could I sink any lower?

Cut to the dance and oh my god, it is the most 90s sounding dance ever and takes me right back to my school's gym dances. To get you in the mood for this dance I will link you to the song that plays throughout the scene and most of 1998:

Just bask in the 90s glow.

At the dance, Jen and Cliff seem to be hitting it off while Pacey finds Ms. Jacobs who is chaperoning. That's a good idea, Pacey, hit on your teacher at a crowded school dance in full view of all of your classmates and any other staff members that might be chaperones. Smooth, no one will suspect a thing in a small town where people notice every move their neighbours make.

Dawson and Joey arrive and they pretend to dance together by actually dancing together while Dawson looks for Jen. They have an almost moment when Jen pops up and they have an awkward conversation where Dawson gets officially introduced to Cliff.

It's awkward.

Dawson then ditches Joey to go after Jen. Jen asks Dawson if he'd like to dance and instead of saying yes, Dawson has to fuck it up by making a big deal about Jen being Cliff's date so Jen gets away from him by going into the girl's room.

Joey tries to convince Dawson to leave but he doesn't feel like he's made a big enough ass out of himself yet. He strides up to Jen and Cliff and tries to piss on what he deems rightfully his. Jen rightfully ditches both guys, leaving Dawson to wonder where he went wrong.

You went wrong.

Meanwhile, at the Leary household, Mrs. Leary walks in with a doggie bag, so she obviously went to her dinner thingy. They have a conversation where she feigns ignorance to their first kiss while really remembering it and planting a kiss on him. Pretty ballsy considering she just got ploughed by her lover, I imagine.

Stay classy, Mrs. Leary

As Pacey, Joey and Dawson walk home, Pacey spots Ms. Jacobs and walks over to her. He confronts her once again in the same place he confronted her last episode because she thought it would be "appropriate." Lady, you and appropriate parted ways the minute you pounced on an underage student. She tries to do the right thing but apparently the writers are painting them as this great forbidden love because Pacey prattles on about being super mature and shit and that he "kissed back" and doesn't regret it. She still tries to do the right thing but they eventually kiss again.

Drama will ensue. Mark my words.

Dawson and Joey vow never to go out again because one evening went wrong which sounds like the right amount of melodrama for the average teen. Dawson tells Joey to chain him to the bed if he ever thinks about doing something so stupid again and Joey asks if she can use the leather straps.

Not until you explain the Crisco.

He then sees Jen walking by the pier and he decides that he might as well completely destroy his evening by going to talk to her again.

Jen tells Dawson that she's angry with him and asks him what he wants from her. Dawson complains to her that he feels like he's being friend-zoned and that he'll be the one she tells about her boy adventures and "I want to be your boy adventure." which is kind of a creepy thing to say. I don't know why but it is. She asks him if he could be both and my heart kind of breaks for her because she looks like she could use a friend. Dawson rejects this saying that being friends and lovers doesn't work at fifteen. Maybe he's right, teens are kind of black and white on the love/friendship thing but he really shouldn't be right.

Come ooooonnnn! I want to be your boy adventure!

She agrees to take him up on the offer for an adventure but denies him the kiss he wants because she explains to him that she was growing up too fast in New York and how she feels like she can finally slow down in Capeside. Once again, my heart breaks because she is trying to tell him about her past and how she is not this perfect thing he has built her up to be but Dawson is not listening.

Jen asks Dawson if he wants to dance because she's wanted to dance with him all night and he smartens up and agrees. They dance until the credits fade in.



I love how this show is so teen oriented that the second episode features a big school dance. Teens love their school dances, amiright? Not much has progressed yet, but it is only the second episode. I'd say the one plotline that has truly progressed is that Dawson and Jen are sort of, kind of dating. Other than that, we still have Mrs. Leary cheating and Ms. Jacobs is still running hot and cold with Pacey when she should be only running cool...

as iccccce!

Things I liked:

1) Joey is a lot more likeable in this episode so she has that going for her. She's not afraid to speak her mind and I respect her for that.
2) Jen's back story is hinted at in this episode.

Things I disliked:

1) Dawson. He's so arrogant and stuck up about his movie. He's also completely self-absorbed so that he acknowledges neither Jen's nor Joey's feelings. 
2) Mrs. Leary is a great big B. I can see where Dawson gets his self-absorbtion from. She's so focused on herself that she can't see what a great home life she has even after a teenager pointed it out to her. Congrats, Mrs. Leary, you have less regard and empathy for the ones you love than a teenager does.
3) I still dislike Pacey/Ms. Jacobs and Pacey claiming he is down with it is not helping things because it still falls to the adult to be the adult and say that it is wrong. She just met the kid, she doesn't know him that well, so really from what we know, she really is just using him to make herself feel better about growing older. She is a creepy cougar.

That's it for this week, stay tuned for more awesome drama when we return with the next episode, Kiss.


  1. I forgot how creepy the kissing tutorial was...

    Also ... Scott Foley! I forgot his pretty face was on this show too.

    I think the most realistic thing about this whole series is how shitty Dawson's movies were.

  2. I know. At least in the first season it was something different. After this he wrote "Dawson's Creek" over and over and over again. Or at least it always seemed like he was making the same movie over again. Oh and the Blair Witch knock off movie. For all his passion and boasting about movie making, he really wasn't very original, was he?